Sunday, January 20, 2008


I got up early today and yes I was a bit grouchy, I only had 3 hours sleep as usual. Mom called to remind me of our day on the town. So I lazily got up and did the three S’s before I headed out for the day.

People should know that I am a People Watcher. I mean if you really pay attention to people, you got comedy for life. What amazes me is how people walk around in a cloud of oblivion, totally cut off from the World. I call them the Walking Dead, Zombies, High Functions, Moving Tards, whatever their syndrome I loose my mind sometimes trying to figure out how from sun up to sun down the Un-ABLES “able” to walk and talk everyday.

Since I don’t smoke, drink, do drugs, eat no meat, no junk food or take anything that might dull my senses at times, I would think all of my five senses are in balance with the others. It is rare that one would go Power Ranger on me and become over-powering and yet today, it was my nose that betrayed me.

I usually burn incense and oils and for the most part, I keep my place spick and span, dust free. So fowl and weird odors don’t happen in a Brotha’s place. Today was different. For some strange reason, my inner hound dog kicked in and I was smelling some of everything. I was smelling peoples breakfast from several floors away, the garbage from the apartment across the hall, I opened my refrigerator and I was whiffing odors from the food I cooked last night, the left over beans from the day before, in the bathroom I though I was smelling the toilet (mind you I keep that VERY clean since people assume MEN keep nasty bathrooms) and in the bedroom I knew what was clean and what was dirt just taking a tang from across the room. It was horrible. I had SUPER NOSE DESEASE.

So now I had to make it through the day in the city and you know that in most cities, with thousands, possibly millions of people, you are going to run into some of the nastiest people in the World. I get downstairs and I get hit with some funky dog way past its due for a bath. I looked at the owner and had this scowl on my face. Since I have one of those faces that can’t mask my emotions, I know he thought I was being stuck up but in truth, he smelled like dog shyt.

Outside the apartment building the three barbers standing just off to me floated a cloud of marijuana smoke down wind. “CONTACT”, and it was only 11 am. I cross the street to head for the A train when an ebony dreadlocked Black man past me by and BAM, no deodorant. Ripped a new hole in my face. I wasn’t right for a minute. The fact that it was windy I was quick to recover until I past one of those falafel vendors. All those onions and green peppers and chickpeas, grease and lamb meat wrapped around my face and wouldn’t let go until I passed Starbucks, the freshest roast, $5 a cup can buy. By the time I make it uphill to the train station, the street vendors selling soaps, incense and oils had commandeered control of the nostrils and yet the worst still had not happened. I start down the stairs to the underground when the rank aroma of urine and stale air almost stopped me cold. I had to lift my neck scarf up over my face to get through it all. Now I had a headache.

I felt miserable for the whole ride downtown because everyone within a three feet radius was ripe with B O, either body sweat or cologne and perfumes I wasn’t feeling public transportation. Now you might think I am exaggerating but I a serious when I tell you, I was going crazy. I felt as if I was sick or becoming allergic to everything. The only time I have had this happen to me is after an intense spa session of steam and sauna with the effects only lasting about an hour. This was more intense.

I began doing shallow breathing to offset the amount of air I was breathing in. I get to Penn Station and the first thing to hit me was the Popcorn machine and just behind that were the hotdog racks and pizza trays. Then the stomach turner was next, McDonalds. Worst thing for a non-meat eater is to be in a room of burger grease. The fries (now I know you all will come for me for talking about Micky D fries) were like someone spreading them all over my face and my stomach wretched a little so I covered my face again with my scarf.

I walk into the GRAND WAITING ROOM to transfer to a second train when I get the monster of stenches. I SMELLED HOMELESS PEOPLE. Left, right, front, in passing, sitting and begging, I was in a sensory HELL. To be honest, I don’t know how I endured but I got to where I needed to go where my Mom picked me up. She saw the pain on my face. Once I told her what happened she decided to cancel our outing and go back to the house.

Like some Conja Woman, she went into the kitchen and took out a pot and filled it with water. Out came tea leaves and roots from the cabinets and told me to lay down on the bed upstairs. My head was spinning because in my parent’s new place I smelled a dog or cat. When my Mom came up to check on me I had asked if the people who she purchased the house from had pets. She replied they did. Cats. I told her I smell them and her face was in shock because she has paid good money to have the carpets clean (mind you, my mother has a nose for dirt and smells being that she works in a hospital, she herself did not even catch that she had cat stink in her place). My Mom told me that what I was going through was serious because I was the first person to ever mention that they could sense a pet odor or any odor even after months of cleaning.

15 minutes later, I have a mystic potion of golden seal and red raspberry. Mom tells me to sit up and dip my finger in the mix. Then she instructs me clean my nostrils out with the tea, which I do. The moisture made my nose run so I begin to blow out the mucus. I do this for about 20 minutes and Presto, I am breathing normally. My senses are now as dulled as the rest of the World and personally speaking, I am Happy for it.

I won’t bore you with all the family stuff we did but I will tell you that on my way back, my awakening to what I had experienced and what I had lost as I journeyed home made me debate within myself just HOW MUCH TRUTH DO I WANT TO KNOW BEFORE I LOOSE MY MIND? Just how much do I want to FEEL? How much do I want to SEE? How much do I want to TOUCH? How much truth can I HEAR? I mean look at what happened to Bobby Fischer. One of the greatest Chess Players to ever live and he died with the luminous title of Looney Tunes. I wonder if there is a Conja Cure for that as well?

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