Tuesday, December 30, 2008

THE DRINK (Ujamaa - Co-operative Economics)






Draped in black she walks across desert sands
Sun hanging high
The air rippling from the heat.
She trails footprints that disappear in time
As the winds push Saharan grains
That carpet the far and beyond.
Searching for water she taps and stabs
ground with her spear of hoary worth.
Deep until the Earth bleeds
Clear,
Giving up its blood to the woman in shadow.
And she drinks.
Quenching the thirst of a throat dried and cracked
crawling towards the cut in the ground
the decayed,
the emaciated,
the carcasses of the land
struggled and strained to the oasis of life.
As the shadow stands and watched
thirsty no more.
She waits until they all approach for a drink.
And as skeletal remains part lips burned and blistered
for a drink,
to taste the nectar of nature's cool essence,
the woman withdraws her spear
licking its tip of its last drop.
Tauntingly swallowing life's most precious elixir.
And it is all gone.
Washed away into the vastness of the desert.
Only to become a mirage of happiness,
a silhouette of life
which gathered the scorched remains of the land
in a perfect circle.

This I write with scroll and pen.


The Drink by Shazza Nakim
Copyright © by Peace of Mind Publishings and with permission by Shazza Nakim

Monday, December 29, 2008

STRENGTH OF SPIRIT (Ujima - Collective Work and Responsibility)






Rock of Gibraltar
heart of diamond
like the blades of Zuar,
it’s the center of passion.
The speed of swing
and a Zulu's call,
cherish the stare hollow but true.
In the end
it’s OK.

It’s the song that causes tears to move.
A hand, which wipes them away,
clearing them for insight.
It uncovers the memory of futures past
and rises to stand in magnificence.
It’s the cost of being the boss
when masks reveal the identity of the spirit
King.

Setting internal rules
-the reality that we live in,
bodies austerely hacked and cut away in all the important parts.
And it heals,
it does grow back in places.
Sometimes fast, sometimes strong.
But in the end, it becomes the salt of the Earth
and the breath of a windless sky,
on a starless night,
a hand, on a timeless clock kept for forgotten heroes,
lost in battle since their closing bid for freedom.


Sold! Dis heron Buck fo 300 dollas!!



Strength of Spirit by Shazza Nakim
Copyright © by Peace of Mind Publishings and with permission by Shazza Nakim

NATURE OR NURTURE (Kujichagulia - Self-Determination)





















Stroke me
and touch me more.
Look at me hard
and hold on.




What do you say?

Experience and taste me
lick and swallow me whole.
What flavor am I?
Sweet or sour?





Mixing the ingredients.
Open seasons
of Change
from hot to cold.
Dressed and Undressed.





In fashion statements of the World.

Singles and doubles.
Matching me up.
Taking me down
on my back and on my side.





Spread them and check me out.

Outgrowing your ideals.
Stepping beyond social shackles.
A hungry soldier no more.
I have turned my own pages.





Reading stories from right to left.
Blame me not.
I blame you little.
I am deep into You more
as much as you are into Me.





Rolling head over heels.

Save my life
saving more of your soul.
Allowing me to die in your arms.
Dully by cutting off the lights.





The sun will still rise after blemished days.

Hear Trumpets
calling from the East
with human insight.
Listen to the sound.


Nature of Nurture by Shazza Nakim
Copyright © by Peace of Mind Publishings and with permission by Shazza Nakim

DIAMONDS (Umoja - Unity)
















heat it
stir it
place it on top of the burner.
put the lid on tight.
pressure cook the Hell out of it.
watch it boil,
bubble,
and bounce around
falling one over the other
over and over
until
a big wooden spoon splits and
whirls it to the sides of
a big black cauldron as it
fights the final meltdown
from an intense flame underneath.
baked,
boiled,
and burned.
broken up,
broken down
to its basic elements.
transformed
from heat
coal into diamonds
in the rough
cut so fine
so we all can shine.


Diamonds by Shazza Nakim
Copyright © by Peace of Mind Publishings and with permission by Shazza Nakim

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

MENTAL VACATIONS - GOOD FOR ME

I have been off my personal GAME for a minute and I needed to get back to my online friends and start blogging. I know you have missed me but to be honest, I had lost my focus a bit and it was beginning to scare me. The past year was a bit stressfull with issues of sex, money and time; the CURSE of any relationship “personal” or “committal”. You know how that can be when you concentrate on one, at the expense of the other two. And the feedback you suffer when you try to balance out the other, that chain reaction of combustible energy build, overflow and eventually explode takes so much out of you. In my case, my creative energy was pretty much F*%#'ed.

I exploded and spent the last few months in deep recovery.
So what happened?

Well I did what a wise woman told me one day. “When you find yourself lost or off your Path, go back to the point where you got distracted and start over again.”
And that is what I did; I reconnected with some friends I haven’t spoken to in YEARS. I literally did a hardcore search for some. I Google, MapQuest, Reunion.com and broke out all address books to see if numbers and addresses were still the same. It was amazing how a voice from 10, 15 and 20 years ago can fill you will an energy you through lost by time.

That time of reflection, nostalgia and melancholy may sound like crap but to someone who felt that he lost his Mojo, it was the medicine of LIFE. The relationship that I had ended took more out of me than I wanted to admit. The drain from that not only affected my views about relationships (mine personally since I will always be an advocate of good and strong monogamous relationships) but on a serious subconscious level, it played havoc on my health. My spiritual was broken and I needed healing. Once I decided that I didn’t need a bunch of Hymns and Handclaps, Off-key Divas and reminders of Fire and Brimstone wasn’t going to be key, no lectures or Self Help manual, no Ancestor from the Past or Dime Store Saint selling Lucky Charms couldn’t help, I decided to put on the Nikes and did some serious ME TIME with a walk. I walked a lot. I MEAN A LOT. I got rid of the camera and the music, the backpack and all other distractions and walked the boroughs of New York City, its parks, special events and watched the People. I watched it all in its pure Beauty and deep down Dirt. And then I did the most astounding thing …. I didn’t try to make sense out of any of it. I watched it all like a Non-caring Man stepping on a colony of ants in the middle of a road. In essence I just shut down the WHY side of my brain and let it just Be. My eyes became a camera for the World, my mental and spiritual Black and White Documentary on “What is.” I even turned off the television. No CNN, CSPAN, FOX or MSNBC. It was a total blackout of Jerry-cultured information. I planned quite in my head and allowed that emptiness to set and prepare for the flood of information that was coming like a weak damn before the storm when I turned my mind back on.

Ladies and Gentlemen, that was my summer. My mind was on vacation and my body was on auto-pilot. I became that American in this New America, the other America that had replaced what once made sense.
Now don’t get me wrong, I was still active in my daily life, I still participated in my community events and seminars but I took a more passive backseat stance. No speaking or galvanizing of the troops. I just sat back in my Mrs. Daisy ride and talked to the driver who took me where I wanted to go which was often called a place call "Anywhere".

With all the energy invested in the election, the Clintons vs. the Obamas vs. the McCains, it didn’t matter because in the end, we all know how it is going to end. So like in arguing …. I mean debating, with a fool, sometimes it’s best to just LET IT GO.

Now I wait. Wait until the truth comes to the surface and allow for that little bit of feeling to flow into the void I created in my mind to plant its seed that I need to get back my focus; my Mojo. And I am OK with that.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

3-2-1 CLEANSE OR THE TWO MONTH DIET

This isn’t a diet to loose weight although some weight will be loss, the purpose is to begin a progressive detoxification of the body and begin a lifestyle for eating that will maintain not only a weight “control” program, but a regiment of healthy eating that will show both internally and externally. Understand that all body sicknesses are caused by the following symptoms; Malnutrition, Dehydration and Stress. As long as you understand this as a cause for illness you can then begin to address the root of your bodily problems and not the effect. Disease and Excess are the most common causes of Death for Food in the United States. Concentrating only on Food, the 3,2,1 Diet will address eating on a fundamental level.

The diet will be in three stages (3/1, 2/1, 1/1)

3/1 or three weeks on 1 week off are the detoxification stage. This will require a person to do a colonic as well as limit the amount of preservative in the digestive system. For some, this is the hardest part of the diet for this part challenges the “flavor addiction” of the individuals. Those ultimate red flags for addiction are the additions of “salt and sugars” processed foods.

2/1 or the two weeks on 1 week off is the choice stage. This challenges a person’s ability to monitor and or balance the foods that are good and bad in their eating habits. It is a conscious observation of what you consume or are addicted to. Most diets fail because people try going “cold turkey” or not addressing the real reason for their bad eating habits. Your two weeks on is for self-examination and personal research. This would require you getting a personal physician, learning what your Blood-Type is, family medical history, and learning what the causes are for those family illnesses (hereditary, social, environmental, chemical, physical) and planning a lifestyle change which requires little to no money to address.

1/1 or 1 week on 1 week off is in my opinion the hardest part because it requires you to actually read labels on store bought products. This stage requires you to consume less than 350mg of sodium (salt) per day. Just to let you know, 1 serving of Oatmeal without any extras or 5 oz is equal to 120mg of sodium. Drink 1 glass of apple juice (from concentrate) and you are already 135mg+ into your day. This is the only intense monitoring of the diet because eating 1 turkey sandwich can be 800mg+. So be aware.

This 1-week stage is to develop an understanding as to how much salt and sugar we consume in 1 single day. This will allow for the body to burn off excess water and or fat that often does not get attention without over working out by intense exercise. Although working out will be part of your diet plan, I am not asking you to join a gym or turn your home into a health club. The purpose is to bring a new consciousness to the toxins that we consume on a daily bases. By doing that, you will see where and how the extra weight catches up on you.

Listed below are foods you will choose from to make your diet plan. In this diet, portion sizes are important but not in a limiting way. You will eat 3 meals per day with two snacks in between. What you will be snacking on and the amounts are important. It is also important that you get 6 - 8 hours sleep per day, 1 hour of quiet time (mediation, exercise, sitting in a park, a room reading) and a partner that you will report to in order to outline your day. This last point is necessary because in the initial stages you will need someone to give you the support to get through and over the “flavor addictions”.

You will find that based upon your diet, finding locations in your community that specialize in healthy eating are not always easy. Health food stores are not as plentiful as your average corner store or supermarket. You will also find that in certain areas that the healthy food sections are considerably smaller in size and stock. More so, the prices may be much higher and content/portion sizes are also smaller. Do not let this deter you from your goal. Without getting into politics and or the economics of the marketing of foods, you may have to go that extra mile for your heath and well-being. A friend of mine once said, “Convenience Kills”. The sound of that may have seemed over the top for most to hear but her intentions were honorable since she was referring to the quick fix of buying cheap and easy sources of nutrition. Her view of eating processed foods were liken to purchasing drugs for a quick fix. It is unfortunate that eating healthy means “work”, but when has eating to live hasn’t meant effort when you know you will live longer, look more youthful and have more energy in your day.



Meat/Protein Substitutes
Soy, Tofu, Wheat (Seitan/Gluten), Nuts, Beans, Yogurt, Cheese (Organic Dairy Products)

Sugar Substitutes (Slowly begin to diminish the need for sweeteners)
Honey, Raw Brown Sugar, Molasses

Milk Substitute (Vitamins)
Rice Milk – Rice Dreams (Original/Vanilla)
Soy Milk – Silk (Original/Vanilla)
Almond Milk
Organic Goats Milk

Cooking Oils (Vitamins and Minerals)
*Canola Oil
Sesame Seed Oil
*Virgin Olive Oil (Packaged in Dark bottles)
Sunflower Oil
*Coca Nut Oil

Vegetables (Vitamins)
*Broccoli, Green Beans, *Cabbage, Spinach, Egg Plant, Peas/Chickpeas, *Garlic, Green/Red/Yellow Peppers, *Squash (Yellow, Butternut), Sea Weed, Bean Sprouts, Celery, Olives, *Cauliflower, Yams

Fruit (Fiber, Vitamins)
Apples, Bananas, Peaches, Raspberries, Blue Berries, Cherries, Figs, Lemon (Grapes, Oranges, Kiwi, Melon, Strawberries – careful with these fruits because of the sugar content)

Snack (Vitamins, Proteins, Fiber)
Nuts
Dry Fruit (Apples, Mango, Pineapple, Raisins, Dates, Prunes)
*Trail Mix
Ice Cream (Single flavored 1 pint no extras ingredients 1 per week Soy Based or Bryers)
Mixing Syrup (Fruit Based 18mg or less sugar for Water/Ice Frosty)
Vegetable Chips - Salt Free
Peanut Butter (Natural and non-commercial/*Almond Butter (This is better for you than Peanut Butter)
Tuna/Salmon and Egg Salad (Combination for Chips, Dip, Sandwich – Can Tuna Fresh Water)

Starches
Organic Rice (1/2 cut twice per week)
Potatoes (baked 1 per week)
*Pita Bread (if you can, do without bread)
*Black Russian Bread (if you can, do without bread)
Whole Wheat (Avoid Common Commercial Brands)
Rice or Wheat based pasta

Fish (Protein)
Whiting, Salmon, Shark Steak, Tuna, Mackerel, Porgy (Avoid bottom feeding and scavenger fish)

Cereals (Fiber)
Oats (Not to be confused with Oatmeal)
Brand
Rice

NO CORN BASED CEREALS AT ALL

Beans (Protein)
Lintel, Peas, Broad, Navy/White, Red, Black, Kidney

Foods to Avoid
Breads, Corn, Carrots, Sweet Potatoes, Alcohol, Salad Dressing, White Sugar, White Flour, Juices from Concentrate, Fruit Drinks, White Rice (in large amounts), Eggs (2 per week if you can), Pancakes, Waffles, Muffins, Doughnuts, Cakes, Cookies and Candies, Pastas, Caffeine based Teas and Coffees - if you can’t do without it for 2 days, you have an addiction.

Without question, all foods prepared are to be boiled, broiled, baked, steamed, grilled or eaten raw. Sautéed vegetables in oil are only to be used for light flavoring and not to be soaked. Use oil sparingly and as a substitute for salad dressing. If you can avoid them altogether during the 3,2,1 period, even better.

For Soy, Tofu and Wheat (Seitan or Gluten) meat substitutes, there are many recipes that can be found on the Internet. Many of which suggest that for the meat ingredients you use Soy, Tofu or Seitan/Gluten so there is no special preparation for them. What is interesting is that these meat substitutes take on the flavor of what it is cooked in. So you do not loose flavor or texture based upon which one is used. As a rule I use the following for dishes; Soy for Fish, Tofu for Chicken and Lamb, and Seitan/Gluten for Beef.

When using these meat substitutes, remember to prepare them as if you were cooking the actual dish. What is wonderful about these substitutes is that they all take on the flavor and texture of the dish itself. For example when cooking with Tofu, if the dish calls for chicken and you use the ingredients that would bring out the flavor of chicken, then the Tofu absorbs the seasonings and takes on a poultry taste.

There are many books on preparing Vegetarian dishes as well as websites. On your free time search for a few and amaze yourself on what you have been missing.

The Diet

3/1 – The beginning
This is the beginning of a way of life. Note I stated a way of life. This isn’t one of those TV or Hollywood Diets; this is something that is ongoing as long as you want to stay healthy. Will it prolong your life, I cannot honesty say but one thing is for sure, your doctor visits and health care provider won’t make much money on you pushing pills and additives after you begin a lifestyle of healthy eating. The purpose of the 3/1 is to gradually get your body to recognize that  it is polluted with additives that it doesn’t need. By doing this, your body will then craves only the nutrients that it will need and reject the toxins (in food) that it doesn’t. For example the sodium in Potato Chips, the carbonation and coloring in Soft Drinks, the abundant Oils and Seasoning in Fast Food and the preservatives in Frozen and Can goods.

To begin you will need to purchase SUNDIAL WOODROOT TONIC (32 oz) and SUNDIAL KOROMANTEE (32 oz) from your local Health Food Store. If you cannot find either you can either contact the distributor at (718) 798-3962 or email sundialherbs@aol.com. You can also go to their website at http://www.sundialherbs.com/ . (Please Note* You should see your physician before you begin any dietary regiment in order to know your health status regardless of how safe and simple it may sound or be.)

In using these herbs and bitters, follow the instructions carefully and without deviation. In order for the 3/1 to work, you have to condition your eating habits as well as your daily routine. Both Woodroot and Koromantee must be taken twice daily and together. The actual diet is what you consume between usage. 64 oz of water and avoid fiber/dehydrating based juices and beverages (apple, cranberry, grape, teas, coffees) should be consumed during this period. Avoid dry fruits as well during the 3/1 periods for they tend to have a laxative type properties. No dairy is allowed during the 3/1 periods. Only after the 3rd week can you slowly begin to add small amounts of diary back into your diet or at all.

Since this is 3/1, it will take you two weeks to finish both bottles. The last week of the 3/1 will be only to flush your body out with water.

2/1 – Know You Body

This is your Vegetarian phase. NO MEATS and MEAT PRODUCTS. I have given you a listing of foods you can and cannot eat. The goal is to explore the various foods and food options around you and to cultivate good eating habits. This phase also will teach you that you can eat when you are hungry only and to stop eating when the hunger is gone. NOT UNTIL THE STOMACH IS STRETCHED. Believe it or not, this is how we learned to eat. Full meant that we had to loosen the belt buckle. This is where most diets fail because many programs do not address this issue. Thus the active research on your part to understand why it is that you eat the way you do. You can and will approach it from an economic, cultural, and personal level. How your income effects what you buy? How your family background has influenced how you shop and what you eat? How your mood or environment affects what you eat (i.e. the location of your job, family pressures, relationships etc.). Don’t avoid making a doctor's appointment just to talk. Whatever you do, do not take any outside advice from friends. This is your personal goal for improving your life and only your doctor and support group should be considered if any advice is considered. Own this as you would anything that meaningful to you.

This is a period for gathering information about yourself and not having “someone” guide you through a spiritual journey. Personal Mediation and Prayer is a good way to get in tune with your body. Learn to listen. Sounds deep but when you learn to listen to your body, you will begin to understand how people can go for years and not know they are ill. They have forgotten how to listen to their bodywork and to feel what it needs. A wise man told me once, “God has given you two ears and one mouth so that you can listen twice as much as you speak”. The listening also covers the body as well.

1/1 – Know Your Foods

Now that you have taken a week off, your body should not only see but feel a difference. Although your body isn’t completely cleansed, it will begin to want more as you continue the 3,2,1 regiment. In the 2/1 you will begin to read food labels. Not for calories and fat content but for salt. You see the more sugar that is in a product, the more salt is used to counter-act the ingredient. So we will be killing two birds with one stone. Look for only those foods that will add up to 500mg of sodium (salt) per day. This isn’t as easy as it sounds because the average American consumes more than 4500mg of sodium per day. Some Americans consume as much as 2000mg in one meal. This will be the hardest part of the 3,2,1 regiment. I would suggest that you bag your lunch. Raw and Dry fruits and vegetables, non-salted nuts, cereals are good CRAVING SNACKS. You will do this for two weeks. Why is this important? Salt is a water retainer. You need to drop the excess water weight. Also, with High blood pressure, hypertension, diabetes, obesity, and a multitude of other food related diseases, you need to begin and understand that your body isn’t absorbing everything that you are consuming. Some of it is discarded but most of it is absorbed and stored never to be used (i.e. your body has become an internal dump for garbage and it shows in the skin, hair, teeth, the hips, waist and stomach, your breathing, and coloration of the eyes).

Now that you are done with the 3,2,1 regiment what next?

You can begin again. I find that once a person goes through the 3,2,1 they usually want to go back into a second try. I say go for it but remember, this is a seasonal diet. Once you begin a GRADUAL CHANGE IN YOUR EATING, you will not need to continue on a strict routine. Begin to add exercise to your weekly pattern. Walking is a good way to begin. You do not need to go out and join a gym right away but if your home does not afford the privacy you need, then check out an affordable yet SIMPLE GYM. The less flash the better.

Copyright 2003 © by Peace of Mind Publishings and with permission by Shazza Nakim

THE BOX




Sitting by the Nile a Queen approached me and asked
If I knew anything about a King
A King with a smile like the sun.
I did not know for I only knew of the nights over Egypt.

This Queen then proceeded to show me an alabaster box
One of significant importance.

"This box possesses your heart's desire.
It is yours if you would help me find my King.
If not, I will take it away", she told.

I pondered the possibilities
for the offer seemed too inviting.

"If this box can grant the heart's wish, why can it not grant yours?
I have no need or desire for all that I wish is here.
So tell me this oh Queen of the lost."

The Queen arched in defiance,
turns, and walk away.

"Stop! You have not answered my question.
Must I ask my question anew.
In my arrogance I meant not to offend."

The Queen rolls back and state.
"For one who questions, one does indeed desire."

The Queen hands me the box.
And within it there was a human heart.
Beating and pulsating with life.

I then knew that the heart was trapped within.
This was the Box of Isis.

"Could this be the King you ask of?
The heart which plays the music of life.
I see no smile but there is life."

The Queen then takes the heart and consumes it.
Before my eyes she becomes enriched.
Giving birth to life and a child is born.
A male child vibrant with joy and laughter.

The child then cries a name.
Osiris.

A man most powerful and salient.
He holds his Queen and a kiss is made.
Both look at me and like the wind they are gone.

Leaving me the box with a scroll and pen.


The Box by Shazza Nakim
Copyright © by Peace of Mind Publishings and with permission by Shazza Nakim

Saturday, June 14, 2008

A BELLADONNA CURVE (for girls with faces)


Like music
the movement
the bend
the elegance
it was both harmony and melody
and seemingly enough
she didn't move.
Cat girl
on a catwalk
a Paris Red to Milan Blue
the eyes
deep
and the mouth
a lucsious point of succulent focus.
Then she turned her head in non-observance
and moved
like a force of nature.
She split passion into
love and addiction.
Head to shoulder
--soft,
waist to toe
--methodically powerful,
as she draped material of a hand crafted nature.
Cut
Stop
Turn
Watch
Freeze.
Hypnotized.
The allure.
A wind caused by the catwalk blew in amusement
when she lifted her arms and called for our admiration.
Without a smile.
We confessed all of our sins that day.
Heaven help us
Hell be damned,
to give one such beauty.
She had brushed the trenches with perfection
the one purpose for living.
On the scene and on stride
like a sun rise
she turned back upon herself to leave a world
touched by
brilliance.

A Belladonna Curve by Shazza Nakim
Copyright © by Peace of Mind Publishings and with permission by Shazza Nakim

WHY I DON'T WEAR SHOES TO DANCE




When I dance
I leave my body
to escape into the sky
with my arms flailing wild into the wind,
my eyes glazed
with tears that rain joy upon the Earth
while my breast move with gyrations
and convulsions
and sensual onulations.
Jerking my neck until it snaps
and my hair
-- wild and whipping,
cut into the lightness, of sound
as my bare feet ring like iron on iron
banging out patterns too random to repeat.
I feel sexually removed from myself
as I push me out of me
in all that is good and bad,
all that is young and old,
all that is and will be
male and female in me.
Breaths in heavy pants and soft sighs
sucking hard on the dance's full expression
as each turn
and each twist
gives forth and reveals more of its total ambiance
placing it in utter uniqueness and true artistry.
My thighs burning with fatigue
and my feet
kicking up clouds of dirt and dust
-- which hides my calluses,
places me in a thickness of brown and red delight.
And my fingers,
numbed from their stretch for the dream of perfection
-- a dream to create and destroy,
stiffen and fall
in a world where shoes are optional.
Mute and mindless
a slave to the rhythm
I drive onwards
act by act
until the blood of my body flows fast through my veins.
I silently scream, "Come forth, Come forth"
to Gregorian chants and muffled words of criticism
for when I am done, I will take a bow.
Bowing to you all with love by the hands of my inner conductor.
And through it all my eyes will be closed
so that no visual copies can be made.
Only the feeling,
only the emotion
as I leave to go find my dancing shoes
waiting in the shadows.


(Dedicated to the existence and of the legacy of Alvin Aliey and Dance)
Why I Don't Wear Shoes to Dance by Shazza Nakim
Copyright © by Peace of Mind Publishings and with permission by Shazza Nakim


MOMMA SAID NO




She did the right thing
back in the day.
Tired from a day's labor.
Separated and beat back
Momma defied
she pushed back
and brought light
for our eyes.
Momma gave us sight beyond sight.
Momma gave us words for our voices
and gave us existence where once was
none.
Momma taught,
in our infancy,
that it was OK to say No!
But today No! no longer has the power,
it’s snap,
or its honor.
Today's No! is heavy with
tears, sadness, and sorrow.
Momma was violated
turned inside out
by the child that said Yes!
A child who missed the lessons of
No!
Defied and pushed back
Momma cried due to the labors missed yesterday.
Beat back and bruised
Momma still pushes on because
she can still say
can say No!

Momma Said No by Shazza Nakim
Copyright © by Peace of Mind Publishings and with permission by Shazza Nakim

MEET THE PRESS... IN GRIEF

There is something to be said about not liking someone and still respecting him or her for what they do. There are few people in my social circles and associations that make the grade of liking and respecting. Far too many people (which might be a weakness in my character) that I do not like but, to have someone teeter on that thin line of not liking and respecting, that is big news to anyone that knows me. What that means is that no matter what you say and or do, I will defend your right to “exist”.

I know reading that last line you are like "DAYUM "that is cold … to “exist”? Though it might be a bit arrogant or dismissive to the very nature of people, in this complexed World of countless personality types, not all people are suppose to mix and work in perfect harmony. Often when two strong personalities or those with conflicting view points with conviction to defend them with fervor and principle, you can often get into heated situations that boarder on the pinnacle of War; on persons, self, spirit and ideology.

In my background of Politics, Economics, Community, Social and Religious beliefs, there isn’t a time when debating or auguring points of view that can leave two people standing ground on opposite sides of the line civilly BUT it is the exceptional person (people) who can still remain cordial, respectful or claim the point of view of, “Agreeing to be Disagreeable”. On Sunday mornings, I wake up and put myself into that state of mind to listen to all the Political Pundits expound on issues and topics they are paid to guess at. A few are good enough to get people thinking outside of the box or almost get it right or are so on point you thing they are the actual idea givers to the Politically Inept.

Navigating through the one-sided opinions, ideological grandstanding, comportment of promptitudes, regurgitations of revisionist history and associations and lots of political jargon, I wake up early to get my mind right for a workout on playing that Political “reality game” called TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCES. This is where I try and find the truth in what is said and not said in order to realize the effects and or consequences of just accepting THAT which is broadcasted as the FACTS.

Stepping through the manure that make up George Stephanopoulos, Chris Matthews, The McLaughlin Group there is a time tested political show called Meet The Press hosted by the Pit Bull of political pundits, Tim Russert. Now I will tell you, he was not a very kind person on the show. Going on Meet the Press with Tim Russert meant getting your “BEAT DOWN” moment before the World. There was no tolerance for jargon, half-truths, political innuendos, stray alludes, seeded misdirection, casual passing of accountabilities or even the occasional “rock star” stance. You come on Meet The Press you got the MAFIA TREATMENT; broken down to broken up and if you didn’t come on the show, it was WORST because that statement alone displayed a sense that you were SCARED and HIDING something from the closest thing to a representative Press that for years has overtly suffered from NOTasking” the questions needed to be asked. In essence, Tim Russert's Meet the Press was mandatory Sunday viewing for the state of Washington DC to the World for over 17 years. You knew this because like a teacher in a classroom, you know the one's that do their homework. Tim Russert, in comparison to his competitor's, was the valedictorian of his craft.

A bit hash in his interviewing tactics, a person can’t help but recall the scene between Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson in the film, A Few Good Men where Nicholson’s character; Col. Nathan R. Jessep, cries that famous of all lines, “You can’t handle the truth!” Tim Russert dogmatically drilled each and everyone that sat across from him channeling that same energy that made Tom Cruise’s character; Lt. Daniel Kaffee, all the better when he replied “I want the truth!” And when Tim Russert didn’t get the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, out came the Video Tape and put your “WORDS” out in the street for all to see so that even the PUBLIC can jolt your memory for the truth. Guess what? If you don’t have the commitment to tell the truth to Tim Russert because of your lack of forthcoming, your attempt to dodge the question, your ability to sit and randomly and conveniently call forth Alzheimer’s, it just won’t cut it because Tim Russert’s Meet The Press don’t play. You can either come away from an interview Squeaky Clean or a Shity Mess. The way you enter Meet the Press isn't decided by the Politician but by the interviewer and you know this by the very first question. Can Tim handle the truth? Tim Russert knew people, body language, politics and agendas and as such hungered for the truth. He could and made damn sure the rest of America could as well. Sometimes a bit harsh in his interviews, after two cups of coffee and few doughnuts (or in my case herbal tea and bagels) you soon get over the nature of the person and understand that it's only business and in times like this, the "sugar coating" of the News, and especially with politicians, wasting his time and the public's is OVER. Tim Russert was a Political insider from both sides of the aisle and he knew the art of avoidance and misdirection, so in knowing that, the WAR OF WORDS and word usage was little more than fluff. On Meet the Press with Tim Russert, the lies of Politics and intensions were exposed. Tim Russert was the KING of exposure and not even YouTube could compare. When it was Sunday it was Meet the Press.



Tim, Russert, according to his friends and colleagues was a great man of distinction. I can’t say I moved in his circles but I do know enough from his books, personal interviews and the people I do know and respect whom have met and worked with the man, I am told he has a whole other side that was less lethal than his trademarked tongue lashings. Although there are a few people on my short list I would have loved to had seen him interview, I can honestly say that the one’s he got around to bringing the Journalist Bat to, I am quite satisfied.

While working, my co-worker ran from the employee lounge and yelled, “Tim Russert. He just died”! The whole office turned in shock and a few just sat quietly. Others went to work with their fingers typing “www”s searching to confirm the tragic details. I watched on the flat screen the retrospectives on a Journalist's Life and then asked myself, “Self? What are your Sunday’s going to be like now without the only person who would ask the questions you would ask, questions the way they needed to be asked and hold people to answering?

Tim Russert may not have been a buddy of mine and he did rub me the wrong way often in his approach to people on the show (people I liked and respected mostly), especially when he allowed certain people to get off only with a few bumps and bruised and not going for the jugular enough BUT I did respect him. MORE when you look at what his competition was and his accomplishments. That, if anything else, is grounds for RESPECT. This is a serious blow for journalism since no other has the on-air backbone to get at the Truth and do it in such a way that it carries throughout the entire fabric of America. I may not have like you Tim Russert but you were a hell of a journalist and I respect you. My condolences are extended to his family and GOD BLESS YOUR SOUL.

AFRICAN SEASONS



Deep in tone.
Deep in voice.
He spoke in tongue
telling a quiet world to wake up.
African in nature,
he stepped up to me
and stared into my eyes.
Locked tight,
he focused.
He looked into my soul
and toyed with the idea of remaking me
into the image
of a Man.
A Man of African Seasons.

From out of the tall grass
urged by the wind,
African chants,
rhythm and drums
pushed our bodies into full expression
orally conveying our tales of greatness.
With the blood of the spirit,
the sweat of the land,
and the richness in being,
our story was told for generations to see.
To dance.
To sing.
To know.

We held each others hands.
Held them high and gathered others
in our warm embrace.
The numbers grew,
from youngling to elder
it swelled in quixotic proportions.
We collected the words and wisdom of the ages.
It condensed
and rubbed together
creating heat.
It burned within me.
It burned within us all.
It was hot where we were,
At the center of the room.
The center of the World.
Much like the center of all creation,
where he made me into a man.
A Man of African Seasons.

African Seasons by Shazza Nakim
Copyright © by Peace of Mind Publishings and with permission by Shazza Nakim

Sunday, June 1, 2008

SWEETS ADDICT




You were hungry
And I had love like honey.
I should have known
sweet hearts attract Sweet Addicts
who want more than they can give.
The kind that shuffle and hustle
through the richness of a body made
signed and delivered
by love and good deeds.
As vinegar turn pallets tart
So has the Honey that was my love.


Sweets Addict by Shazza Nakim
Copyright © by Peace of Mind Publishings and with permission by Shazza Nakim

Saturday, May 31, 2008

THERE GOES THAT CHURCH AGAIN

You know, I am hard on comedians that cross the line. Since the question is always, “Who determines the line and where is it placed for crossing?” is as much a matter of personal opinion as beauty is for a Mother pretending her ugly baby is cute. Now that was supposed to be funny but for those Mothers out there with ugly babies, its personal and I am sorry.


You see, for saying something like that, and “Me” not being a comedian, I’d have to apologize for offending people with slighted feelings. As much as some people would think that was funny (and some of you are still laughing) it isn’t right to place judgment on people. Call it Karma, call it respect, call it the uniqueness and variety that make up Humanity, you often get back whatever energy that you put out in the Universe although I have yet to see many comedians get back in “spades” what they put out there for laughter – unless you are Flava Flav. Again, that was a joke.

So what’s the big deal about what is funny? Some would say to do that you need to have a license to be funny, a track record for knowing when and what to say or "timing", a PhD in the area of the Punch line, a working knowledge in being quick on your feet. Like the thousands of people who audition for American Idol each year, we get to look at them all and shake our heads and say, “Oh no she didn’t just sing that? Why?”

We get hit hard with the “Slippage of the Lippage” (I just made that up so you all better pay me if you try to use is as a new catch phrase like Billery or Bradjolina) and when Non-Comedians try to be funny (i.e. politicians or your drunk Uncle Tommy) the results can be often damaging. We all remember the "Macaca" scandal by ex-Senator George Allen of Virginia and his bid to be “funny”. His attempt cost him his seat in Washington DC and opened the door for a relatively unknown competitor to waltz into a relatively easy win.

Even comedians can “cross the line” of Political Correctness. Cross it so far that even fellow comedians can distance himself or herself in a “HOT OBAMA REV. WRIGHT MINUTE” (again another joke). Last I heard, Michael Richard, the fallen from grace comedian famous for his role as “Cosmo Kramer” on Seinfeld, is now sitting on top of mountains calling on his Higher Power to get his “chi” back because somewhere between being funny and calling a room full of Black folk the “N-word”, he lost his MIND. And let us not forget the “Nappy-Headed Hos" and "Jiggaboo” comments from Don Imus. Although this was washed over the media as the sensation for the moment, the hurt still lingers in the halls of funny enough to see that the numbers of those that aren’t laughing are more than those laughing. In a Blog posting entitled “Punk Ass Damon Wayans”, I talked about how in his bid to be funny on the couch of The View, Damon Wayans evoked the Nappy Headed Hos comment and tried to justify its validity as a piece of Creative Comedy on a Daytime Talk Show created by a Woman, for Women and hosted by Women. With the couch shared by three other Comedians, his ability to escape intact was a miracle at best, BUT what was most important was that in his comments, there was no TRUTH to his justification. His time spent on the couch only came off as a desperate need to make a few dozen people begin a chain of uncomfortable giggles thus giving room and validation for others to follow in concert.

It has been historically noted that the Fool, the Trickster, the Jester and other similar characters were always walking the line of social and political correctness. Even today we honor the kid that can make us laugh as the Class Clown. And that’s who comedians are, Clowns; people who wear masks to hide the truthfulness of both their humanity and ours. And in our laughter he subconsciously laughs at our strengths and weakness, the beauty and our ugliness. BUT you have to be funny with an underlying message to elevate society because that is ‘ART’.” – The Poet: Shazza Blog (November 23, 2007)

We now go back to the “Whats” of funny/satire vs. offensive/politically incorrect in society. It is safe to say that America, as a culture, allows comedy to dance on the line of acceptability and once you begin peeling back a few layers, deep within the cultures, funny is considered a “Blank Thang” with each ethnic group filling in the “blank”.

The cable channel Comedy Central has an array of ethnically diverse comedians that universally are accepted by everyone. You rarely, if ever, hear people say they do not like a comedian because they are a particular "Race" but more so because they are either Funny or Not. I would almost place bets that Comedy Central is the MOST ETHNICALLY DIVERSE NETWORK CHANNEL in existence for its purpose. You have Black, White, Asian, Latino, Native American, Old, Young, Men, Women, Blind, Handicap, Gay, Lesbian, Straight, Overweight, Overly Thin, The Beautiful, The Visually Challenged, Arab, German, Jew, Muslim, Atheist, The Political, The Anarchist, Red Necks, Rated G to Rated PG R and all making fun of you and all the socio-political groups that exist. Actually it is prerequisite to make fun of yourself before others. It’s in the "Official Rule Book of Comedians"; “Thou Shall Make Fun of No Man or Woman Before Not Making Fun of Thine Self.” So when you have a comedian come on stage ranting about others without first talking about themselves, we get a since of uneasiness and eventually reserve our laughter for someone a little more talented since this BUSTER is a HATER. And even with bad comics, there is always that “Shield of Anonymity” that protects the comedian from being called a Terrorist, Anarchist, Ex-Patriot, Racist, Sexist or any host of Anti-American sentiments.

You see when you consider yourself an “Artist” you create for yourself a ‘Shield of Anonymity’. You pull this infamous philosophy provided by the Constitution and its FREEDOM OF SPEECH. Sadly to say, the Racist of our nation do it equivalently and or in worst degrees practicing the same rhetoric.” – The Poet: Shazza Blog (November 23, 2007)

So here we are again with Rev. Jeremiah Wright back in the spotlightt although not as front and center as we’d like. This time, the Man with the satire in question is another GUEST speaker of Trinity United Church of Christ, Father Michael Pfleger. Now I will be honest, I don’t know a thing about the man so I can’t promote myself to a place high enough to throw stones BUT I will say this much, from what I know and saw (in the sound bytes flooding the media like a monsoon in the Pacific Ocean) HE IS FUNNY. He’s funny because it’s a BLACK THANG and I wouldn’t expect Non-Black Folks (maybe some Brown Folk) to get it.




I won't lie, I watched the Father Pfleger and found it funny, almost MAD TV/In Livin' Color funny but I will also be honest and say what Rev. Michael Pfleger preached (is) what and how BLACK FOLK think and talk behind closed doors everyday about this election so for Black people to be up in arms and pointing fingers at the MEDIA, we all need to OWN UP and Keep It Real. The way Black folk talked, voted, turned on Black politicians, Super Delegates, Tavis Smiley, Julian Bond and many others we need to watch out for all those stones we are dropping in the Glass House.” – The Poet: Shazza on Jack and Jill Politics (The Obamas Leave Trinity)

The reality of those not culturally connected to the stage in which Father Michael Pfleger spoke on would easily sit “stone faced” and “pruned” over the comments while Black folk laughed, bounce and cried tears of uncontrolled laughter on par with a SANDMAN SHUFFLE off the stages of the Apollo Theater. Most of America isn’t remotely knowledgeable of the going ons of what takes place within a Black Church and will not get the Theatric component. "Fair or Fierce", Black Churches sway, swoon, dance, cry, become inspired, laugh and yes, have opinions about Politics and Politicians. STRONG opinions. Black Churches can be ruthless in its HONESTY because it is the only place where Truth (regardless of one’s spiritual perspective) can be spoken without condemnation. The Church can allow for personal emotions as well as opinions to wear on one's sleeve for an entire community to share. Or so we (Obama) thought. Knowing all of this, we still have to ask the question, why was Father Pfleger funny?

If all the World’s a stage, then for Black folk that stage represents the Church; which for its people is the center of the Universe. What happens in the World and beyond is explained clearly and colorfully every Sunday on this stage. So why was Father Pfleger funny? Because on the Black Church stage, he had a license to BE funny. It is part of the formula which Black folk have embraced. For Black folk, it is human to laugh just as much as it is to sing and dance and cry and love and the whole range of human experiences held together with prayer. Some may find it difficult and even a bit alien to be part of a church that does not sit quietly and reflect but Black folk are active participants during Sunday services. Outsiders may think that Father Pfleger was pandering to the members of Trinity BUT he actually part of the norm of its expectations. As this Nation changes (really as it begins to open a book and or get over its “fear” of avoiding dialogue with people different from his or herself) you will find that the Black Church is traditionally NOT A QUIET PLACE or a place to wear masks.

I have watched as Jay Leno, David Letterman, The Daily Show, Dennis Miller, The Colbert Show, Jimmy Kimmel and others have begun their shows, dedicated whole monologues to ridicule Politicians more so Bill and Hillary Clinton for more than 20 years. Some have “crossed the line” of good taste and other jokes that are timelessly hilarious. The difference is that as a Religious figure, you are not suppose to be licensed to be funny, at NO ONE TIME EVER. Even if within the comedy, there is truth, it is taboo to place it, state it, do it from the pulpit. Not for the Black Church. Here, you use whatever tools needed to get the message of Truth out. If laughter bring you close to your truth, than so be it, you use it like a tool for building the gateway to the Lord. To ignore a sense of humor is a bold example for ignoring the grand design of human expression because even GOD has a sense of humor.

Am I saying what Father Michael Pfleger said was right? Well being me, and my political and social views on People of Color in America, I plead the FIFTH, but for being funny I would have been in the mix of laughing patrons. NOW if he was in any other church, speaking before a college graduation or at a Political rally my option would change but in the Black Church … I’m not so offended. I actually would like to have had an encore performance though, possibly with John McCain, George Bush, Condoleezza Rice or anyone with embedded rhetoric needing to get “Churched” on Sunday.

Friday, May 30, 2008

A BIRD, IT’S A PLANE, IT’S A FALLING CRANE

Years ago when I entered into the workforce post-Graduation, I couldn’t wait to start contributing to the American Dream (back then I was naïve and bought into the myth). I walked in willingly ready to be integrated into corporate culture happy to add co-workers into an expanded network of friends and as I met my supervisors and cohorts, my mind opened for this new information needed to efficiently do my job. So I sat. And sat. And sat often for hours and sometimes days until finally someone came along and dropped a pile of work in front of me and said, “These are due by the end of the day”, and then walked away.

As I sat there in my cubical staring at a pile of files I wondered with a blank expression and idle thoughts saying, “What am I suppose to do with all this?” I looked around at the other workers and thought I’d be proactive enough to ask for a little help. To my surprise, my under excited co-workers knew as much as I did. We all pretty much were flying wild in a random roulette of corporate bureaucracy. No one knew what they were doing and those that did, did not want to help or share. Here, in my mind, was the center of all backstabbing and hording, the very experience exercised in this particular Game was not taught in Business Classes in college. Needless to say, I became very disillusioned and thus the seeds to be in a better position, to move up or even out, coupled with a mean spirit to be "pro-active" taught me that there are differences in the Working World. I also knew this as well, Training and or Coaching was not and most likely will not be the norm. As a young man, I experienced this and as an old man it has been a consistent statement to the reality of the American Workforce. In mine and other experiences, Businesses expect its newly hired workforce to be pre-Trained in the labor requirements expected of them. Training means dollars spend and or loss. To do training means productivity loss. Training opens up the potential of free thought, criticism, question that will create footprints back to the source of Answers, it founds the knowing of the Whole Picture as oppose to the upper managerial Big Picture and to be honest, most people just don’t have the aptitude for training.

Training is only meant to define a worker as the “cog” in the machine and not to explain the nature of the inventor, so when a person comes into many American labor professions, it is highly desired that that person has enough “common sense” and or the ability to learn as they go it not only makes the hire desirable but preferable. Good judgment, the ability to follow instructions, a dorsal state-of-mind, a lateral sense of promotion and needed to work without conflict or challenge. In this environment “pro-active” decision-making breaks down the system and calls too much attention to honesty, transparency and accountability.

Why the intense scolding of the American Labor force? As recent at two months ago I penned the article, “Dropping More Than The Ball” where I detailed how a crane literally snapped and crushed an entire building in New York City killing seven (7) people. It was a tragic event, it brought about National attention. It set a “new” standard for construction and accountability for the Developers. People were jailed, politicians were removed from office, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg made promises to add more funds to hire inspectors and then as most people who sit on couches, they tried to forget. Several weeks later, a Construction Worker fell to his death. We all took pause but didn’t really get involved. Then as I wake for more morning coffee I hear on the News, CRANE FALLS AND CRASHES INTO BUILDING.

I turned to look at where my DVR remote was thinking I had dropped it and turned on something I had pre-recorded. I mean I thought I dropped it and it began to play back the disaster of March 15, 2008 but then I thought to myself, “Self, you didn’t record that.” So I go back to the television and BEHOLD another crane takes out another building killing two (2). What was the saving grace that saved the lives of many more people living in the building was the time of the crash; 8:00 am, and the direction the crane fell in. Regardless of the event, ANOTHER CRANE had fallen on innocent people and now the demand to know what has going on would not be swept under the carpet. For New Yorker’s, THE SKY WAS FALLING ….. AGAIN.

While the media rushes to find that exclusive bit of information on what caused the crane to fall by asking the typical questions like, “who saw what”, “who did or didn’t do what”, “is anyone still alive or dead”, “why didn’t the GOVERNMENT do something about this” … my thoughts were on that I know was to be true, “were the people working trained properly in doing what they were suppose to do?” Much like the last Crane accident, the answer is NO. All the parties involved were not trained in the proper use and execution of their responsibilities. Corners were cut, people looked the other way, people were pushed through and promoted into areas not earned, there were lost of “that wasn’t MY responsibility and certain people were passed by who were responsible to the detriment of life and property. Some were contractors made into inexperienced CONSTRUCTION WORKERS and others passed themselves off as labors because they were able to “follow instructions” without question. All in all, these were all people pushing people into the sky to live above the clouds for those that can afford to live above the ants of the World.

Developers are pushing the limits and the people of New York are paying the price. Back in the 1990’s I worked Midtown during the re-vamping of 42nd Street when a crane fell from the current Conde Nast building while it was being build at a WARP SPEED. There was lost of life and property then and I began to be very wary of any construction site built in New York. Fast-forward almost 10 years later and the tensions for living and or walking near or under a Construction site with a Crane is a REAL FEAR for many people. Developers with their pressures to produce Tall Buildings without a single bound are cutting corners, greasing pockets, making political deals and I would even go as far as suggest having “illegal” connections to undercut costs on labor and product has pushed the limits to a point where their actions are exposed to the WHOLE WORLD.

Not long ago, Michael Bloomberg’s multi billion-dollar company, BLOOMBERG, had a series of construction accidents where people died and equipment fell from up high so one would think he of all people would make incidences like this HIGH PRIORITY.

People are outraged. The rush to push people higher and higher into the sky is an early wake up call for all New Yorkers. Personally, I have reservations and caution to how solid these newer buildings are. If the city can't have enough certified, responsible inspectors and officials to see to it that building are constructed to the highest levels and standards, how can a person give up trust to KNOW that the finished product is safe enough to reside within? We now know that in these Developer's care there is NO proper supervision. We also know that in this case, the Developer is a known abuser of the laws that govern safe construction. As my early coming into the workforce has taught me, I always knew that the lack of accountability, for training and any serious demands on labor’s highest levels of professional knowledge would be the countries undoing. From Construction to the American Presidency, the lack of accountable knowledge is tarnishing America’s competitive worth, prestige, property and life all is a single act. This accident is a pure example of how America does business and the World is watching and taking note. Beating deadlines and getting that bonus check is more important than doing it RIGHT with the Right Trained People and in REAL TIME.

THE TREE STORY




I am your father
and I do love you.
Not from my heart
but from beyond my soul
where you came from,
the light of an evening of hard sighs
and heavy love.
I watched as you grew
from my seed into a tree within a forest of giants,
you casting shadows long
but branches only coming near
the age of my existence.
Not here to compare
not here to condemn or compromise
the state of your being,
for branches stretched can never resume their original shape.
This much I know.
I do know.
I do know
I need you now for your love,
can you give it like an intense rain
a hard rain to wash over me
because my roots have been cut away?

Cut, dried, and poisoned by the very soil that gave birth to you,
leaves turned
and my bark rotted and chipped.
Can you give it?
Can you give it?

No longer can I protect you from a cold wind
so I ask,
can you lean against me my son?
Can you lend me some of your warmth
in exchange for a story of 'Old Eden'?

Can you close your eyes
and let the shape of my words fan the passion
of your heart,
into my spirit?

Can you grow beyond the dream my son?
Can you grow?
Can you grow?
Can you grow my son?


The Tree Story by Shazza Nakim
Copyright © by Peace of Mind Publishings and with permission by Shazza Nakim

Thursday, May 29, 2008

A SCHOOL BELL MINUET



A common tale
of physical mutilation
of words gone bad
due to misplaced communication.
As Angels drop to their knees
and cry out with songs
while heaven collects the innocent souls
for all Earth's wrongs.
Who’s to say their place in Elysian Fields
are rewarding
when the space there
dwindles due to selfish hoarding.
And while the lives of others
are paved in preoccupation,
know it now that we all miss out
on our basic education.
Escapism has caused our existence to become
more syncline
reaching, tearing, and grabbing at what we think
"is mine",
giving no cause or reason
to taking theirs or everyone's.
Using subtle clues of destruction
more dangerous than guns.
Mindless,
our very own creation paints us a pitiful peon.
Light in pride, heavy with shame,
forever sinking in Acheron.
As it was on this day
and always in the future
cut downward over and over
like a cadaver's suture.
The idea, traced in colored chalk
by children in silhouette
dancing during recess,
a school bell's minuet.

A School Bell Minuet by Shazza Nakim
Copyright © by Peace of Mind Publishings and with permission by Shazza Nakim

A GOOD SHORT STORY




GOD turned the pages of life
and read my story.
It was non-fictional.
Told a story from sun up to sun down.
Read my every thoughts.
GOD skimmed silently over my every word.
Smiled when I took my first step,
Gasped when I fell,
re-read the part when I helped
Grandma Johnson,
with her grocery bags from the market.
And he shook his head and shed a tear
when I cursed for no apparent reason.

GOD knew the ending to my story.
He skimmed to its end,
and it was good.
But back to where he had stopped
GOD turned.
Continuing where he had left off,
thus bring me back to life

..... again.


A Good Short Story by Shazza Nakim
Copyright © by Peace of Mind Publishings and with permission by Shazza Nakim

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

MIDTOWN'S MEMORIAL

I was talking to a friend today about our Memorial Weekend. Since I usually go out of town to see family or just vacation, with a lack of dollars in the pocket we kind of just stayed local and enjoyed being home. So while on the phone I talked about how I spent time in the city with family and enjoyed a quick bite to eat and some Broadway’s Cat On A Hot Tin Roof, one of the hottest shows going right now. A stellar cast of All-Black actors, it was a feel good moment in time that you can brag out to your friends at work. I’ll tell you all about it someday but for now I want to talk about something that stood out more.

Walking through Times Square and 42nd Street my parent’s and I noticed (although not surprised) the number of people on the streets were significantly less. I mean on a typical New York City day, you had to muscle your way through Times Square just to get from one block to the next, now you could walk from corner to corner nearly unabridged. Try walking on a day, a weekend counting three days in a city build for millions of people to use on a day marking the beginning of the Summer Season, a holiday weekend that also entertained FLEET WEEK (several days of the Navy having full reign of the city), a weekend of perfect weather for SALES SALES SALES and you as a New Yorker can actually notice that there are a significant number of people missing? Reality settled in that the United States is in Big Trouble.

I will respectfully admit, I Hate Tourist but I equally respect that New York City thrives on a significant number of tourist dollars. To see people missing on the streets of Midtown Manhattan, much more, Times Square, gives worry that people can’t afford to be here even to just “walk” the streets.

The tickets my parent’s purchased to see Cat On A Hot Tin Roof were expensive. For my taste, a little TOO expensive even for a Broadway Play but as supporters for the Arts and of Black Actors, we contributed and yet I would have wanted to use that money to do other things more “cost efficient” but the tickets were a gift. I also know that even for me, spending MONEY is a serious non-option for doing anything. That day, I wasn’t sleeping on the fact that people are serious about doing the same. My friend that I was talking to was able to get a last minute flight to Miami and told me that the flight was wide open, pratically empty. No one was flying. Scary to think that while the airlines are going up on the price of fares and doing the nickel-and-dime tricks on people with extra fees for baggage, people are deciding to take the train and or staying home. I don’t blame them because even a "fool" knows when you are broke. My parents took the train into the city and left the car home. THAT WAS A SHOCKER because Momma loves her car.

Say what you like, we are on the turning point of a depression when one of your most bustling cities begin to look like one of your average cities or Small Towns effected by a deprived economy. I don’t care how many Television Shows adverting Real Estate Deals, Economist preaching that the economy is stable or Reality Shows showing how to become a Millionaire, for People, seeing the World on the level of Ants, there are no more crumbs to gather for the nest. It might sound a bit dramatic but in the eyes of the people, what seems to be left after this mess of an economy is Soylent Green. And we all know what that shyt is made of.



Monday, May 26, 2008

LILAC IN THE WIND




Lying in snow just above the knee
a lifeless corpse
after making its finale snow angle
stares into a star filled sky
eyes opened wide to full capacity
as if looking for heaven to fill its berefted vessel.
Possessing a serenity and peace of the ages
the body, like the air, was free.

Free from emotion,
of desire,
freedom from pain,
and a love once shared throughout the land,
it stared with hollowness at a million points of light
burnished by an arctic wind.

Dressed just as it was on the first day
skin,
color drawn
camouflaged by the very ground that held it
hair,
a total contrast
yet perfect
and lips
brick red
slightly parted as if they once whispered the one significant clue for
life and living
rhyme and reason
good and evil.

A moon, full and complete, clear as the day
danced a slow waltz over natures child
and the silence
playing cameo with the brush of a vacillating wind
orchestrating what neighbors would soon call
"a statement to a world gone mad".
And arms,
outstretched and wanting
--one hand open,
one hand closed
gripping with fingers a bit of reality.
A peddle of lilac.

A sudden rush
and it is gone,
blown into the air
to dance with a warmth that once kissed it to heaven.

Lilac in the Wind by Shazza Nakim
Copyright © by Peace of Mind Publishings and with permission by Shazza Nakim

Thursday, May 22, 2008

How to End a Relationship - On A Positive Note

These are some of the ways in which a person can determine if their relationship is good, bad, or all out ugly to be in. Not all relationships are like Camelot nor are they like the classic romance novel or film. Some require little effort if at all. Others are a day in and day out challenge. Then there are the relationships that just are doomed to fail, with no fault of each party. How and when do you begin to gather the courage to end a relationship that does not work? This is a topic that this site will deal with as a way to help those in need of advice.

The beginning of a relationship can take anyone through a whirlwind of joy and happiness, but ending one can be pure torture as well. What each person must acknowledge is that once you understand the circumstances by which you are in that strained relationship, ending it is for the betterment of the other. In other words, “it has to end". How that is accomplished is a varied and non-scientific method but for the most part, there are some ground stroking roots for doing it without the danger of hating the very air that sustains life to the other. Here are some resources for doing what we would call the civil way of doing things.

Ending Relationships: Saying "Good-Bye with Love"
The following are the guidelines which will help you understand how to use this site's information.
  • Definition of a Relationship and When You No Longer Feel "Good"
  • Weighing the Risks and Making the Separation Work
  • Third Party Involvement and the Knowing of What You Want
It is by human nature to be wanted by someone. The human need to be accepted, loved, a part of a group or social structure. For years, men, women, and children deal with the issues of acceptance of one's self, family, friends, and co-workers. The concept of self-identity and self-esteem has taken on a new and different image in today’s society with the growing number of get better/get personally healthy icons. Talk Shows and News Programs labor to keep pace with the needs of the people to know "What to do?" But sometimes it’s not a simple self-esteem issue but one of compatibility. Has someone forgotten that "Love Connections" are not always with the first, second, and sometimes tenth person you meet? Simply put, people do see relationships as a commitment of one's time, money, and efforts to be loved and or be in love. It’s because of this modern day philosophy that ending a relationship can often be difficult and often violent.

What is unique about relationships is that all parties going in know and accept that any chance of a love affair to flourish, WORK must me attained. For males, that is an alien concept, but none the less, it’s something that each understand and thus a commitment to at least try is made. The first sign (in the beginning of a relationship) of a potential problem is the "P" word. PROMISE. Never promise. Promises, like faith, are a tried, truth, and tested practice. Relationships are just as they are, "commitments". Faith is in what you ultimately believe in, not the purity of the soul. Example: you can not love your mate more than the Creator or God. Your mate is the by-product of your faith and your belief, the end result of being blessed. Not the factor of your existence. Also look at a promise much as you would equal to that of a lie. Lies are told only for one of the two reasons. One: A lie is told when a person is afraid of another person or the consequences of their actions or the others. Two: A lie is told when the person is uncomfortable with keeping up or maintaining a specific expectation for others. Promises are made in hopes of gaining continued admiration from others without proof or conviction much the way spirituality is to faith.

So in the beginning when one person to another indulges in the "Honeymoon Stages" of a relationship (the beginning of a relationship which can extend from 4 weeks to 2 years), promises of happily ever after is pursued through dinners, dances, movies, travel etc. At this point, you have to be real enough to know and or realize that this is a part of the promise. Once the "Honeymoon" is over, only the real person is left. Do you really like what you see?

The concept of love has many levels. The one I want to touch upon is that of the committed love or what I like to call the "I feel good" factor.

When a person is in love, or says that they are in love with another person, what they really are saying is that "I feel good about myself when I am with you." A quick example, if you dislike a person, you don't like the way they make you feel. Regardless if they are sitting next to you, across the street, or on the other side of the World, they make you feel bad. Feelings of stress, anxiety, tension, and pain, came to mind. All of these feelings/emotions are related to "bad" feelings and as a result you avoid them. In love, you are attracted to the opposite of those feelings and thus pursue them at all chance.

At this point, you may be asking, "Why on Earth should I be thinking about entering into a relationship that may have disastrous results?" Well to be honest, you don't know and that is the beauty of the socialization of love. The answer, of course, is that emotions, if properly utilized, can be a highly effective way of dealing with good feelings and understanding when they are not true and when they are compromised for the sake of a "promise' of commitment. (Note* When I state a promise of commitment I don't mean infidelity, I am describing the act of staying in a non-evolving relationship because of a "hope" that it will get better at the expense of each persons "good" health).

Definition of a Relationship and When You No Longer Feel "Good"

So far we have defined what a relationship is. Although there will be those that disagree but for the most part, there is a consensus that there are two people involved and that each must like, enjoy, or "love" the others' companionship. Mutual activities (i.e. social, spiritual, physical, intellectual, financial) must be to the liking of each person and deepens the bond. A balance of ideas, goals, and a bright future together are the premise by which each look forward to each day in their lives. If any one or more of the aforementioned is ignored, thrown off balance, or even challenged to any degree, a sense of tension is experienced. Its to the overall degree that we see a breakdown of the overall relationship.

To some, this would be a wake up call to solve the imbalance that one feels towards the other. This is also the time when the person(s) begin to examine the true nature of the beast they are now involved with, no matter how insignificant the matter is. The challenge to the other's sense of being has been addressed and a checks and balance of more than just actions are looked at, but character, morals, ethics, and most of all, emotional security on the violators part. In essence, "You are not making me feel good, emotionally". It is this point which can drive or stop a relationship in its tracks.

People, like all things, follow set patterns. Some are obvious. Others are very subtle. Yet as subtle as they may be, the things which we did not see (although they were there all along), rises to the surface and a sense of dealing comes into fruition. Compromise and acceptance are the ground rules for couples. In either case, each person must continue to balance the others needs. (Needs being only those things that are a necessity that is opposite "wants", those things desired). When needs are confused with wants, havoc in the relationship begins. How does one cope with this? Understanding that experiences are not new but are the physical makeup or totality of that person, and to change what is natural in that individual is an insurmountable task. Each time you try to change what is, by the very nature, a person's being, more tension, more stress, and more feelings of helplessness and sadness arises. At this point, you are not happy due to your lack of complete transformation and therefore re-programming the other fails. Your disappointment, the inability to change the innateness within your mate and thus the questions of self-change becomes the next issue. And since no one openly admits or wants to commit to self-change, a stalemate is made. In other words, the foundation is laid for an ending. The relationship must and will end.

So can couples just end their relationship amicably? You go your way and I go mine? It just might not be that easy. What if the other is still deeply involved? What if the person finds that the feelings you are having does not equal their own? In other words, they are still in love with you or you them. Separation then is not an easy thing to end abruptly. Sometimes there are other matters involved such as joint bank accounts, cars, apartments, homes, job and career investments, benefits and even children. What is a person to do?

To begin, you must understand what type of relationship you are in. There are many levels and degrees to relationships but to sum up the three most basic reasons why couples part are as followed:

Symbiotic relationships, or when one person lives and sets themselves up to live for the other, the bond is more psychological. The break up will strike up a psychological resonate which could keep a stressful relationship going when it should not be. The fear of a departure from their significant other can cause not only emotional damage, but also physical damage to person and property. A sense of vengeance and possible retaliation may and most often will occur.

Co-dependent relationships, there may be a sense of love and affection but the driving force is financial only in commitment. In these relationships, it may take the form of the following 1. The relationship is tied intrinsically to share finances. 2. The person (s) are committed to the other by assumed and actual personal investment (i.e. children, business, property), and 3. The relationship takes on a passive co-existence (separation) and often defines itself as an "Open Relationship".

Depreciated relationships, which begin as a good and vital union, soon begins to diminish over a period of time. Often ending in differences in personalities, outside commitments, or other unforeseen issues not related to the couples’ relationship to each other (i.e. moral or ethical conflicts, family, past physical or social issues, psychological trauma, health, financial loss). Often the parting is a result of unfulfilled needs and lack of a healthy evolution within the relationship. Often, these relationships end in mutual understandings or respectful practices of interpersonal relationships or friends.

Weighing the Risks and Making the Separation Work

The relationships with the most to loose when Separation becomes an issue are Symbiotic and Co-Dependent. Within each there is the potentiality of both physical and psychological damage. To think about relationships as healthy or unhealthy is a beginning for healing, but the actions taken to do so may be more traumatic and that the emotional anguish to do so could stifle its ending. Some steps are easier than others but for the most part, steps taken in the right direction will always lead you into a better state of mind/being.

The methods which people become intimate and break up are not always the same. Nor is it always as easy as it sounds. Some steps can be taken immediately. Others take time. Sometimes days, sometimes months and years before the relationship is finally over and closure is made. In Symbiotic relationships, the separations can be more stressful. Much like the saying, "caught between a thin line between love and hate", the move toward separation can lead to a very violent ending. You see examples of this in the media; reports in domestic violent cases, film, News and television where the persons involved become violent to a point where major hospitalization or even deaths have occurred. Suicide attempts and mediation (family, friends, law enforcement, neighbors), often are seen and sought out when these break ups occur. One way of preventing this is to begin to work the individual into a sense of independent.

Within the psyche of the Symbiot, the key to their existence is to live for and through their mate. Often, within the Symbiotic existence is weak self-esteem and a vacillation of self-conviction. That energy or lack-there-of is directed towards their companion and re-directed back. Acknowledgement of the fact that the relationship is imbalance is important when understanding how to end it. The relationship may have been ideal, even fun, but as relationships grow, they also change/evolve so as the relationship continues in a forward direction, the symbiot's needs becomes more intense/deeply dependent and the relationship becomes draining (socially, physically, emotionally and spiritually) on the provider. If not taken seriously, the person's very life's energy is drawn out and a deep depression occurs. Mediation and therapy is a good way to communicate this but it has to be done without malice. Again, key issues to keep in mind, re-direct the energy, and communicate, mediation, and balance. If this is not done properly, prepare yourself for a hating for love/loving to hate roller coaster ride.

Co-dependent relationships are material and opportunistic in nature. When advising people who plan on leaving this type of relationship, "Prepare to count your loses". This means that you will not end the relationship with everything you brought into it and will not be able to split everything down the middle. In essence, it’s the closest thing to "War of the Roses" as you can get without a marriage certificate. Although on some levels, the relationship is like a Symbiotic one, the main difference is that each person is seen as an individual capable of great things but occasionally needing the resources of the other on some level. Be it financial, social, physical, or spiritual. The end result is that each person receives something in exchange.

In Co-dependent relationships, the idea that two people will live happily-ever-after colors the reality of the relationship. Often times these relationships are rushed into and a sense of shared responsibility is at the foreground of their interactions (i.e. rent, travel, work, entertainment, catering and pets etc.) Also, in Co-dependent relationships, the initial beginnings may be that of personal gain but due to circumstances, turn into one that limits the mobility and fruition of what was assumed and then takes on a sense of complacency which only keeps the relationship going out of convenience. Often you hear that people are together because they know, "no one else is better", or the person will not leave knowing that "no one else will take shit like the one you are with". These are internal issues and beliefs, which places couples in Co-dependent dilemmas.

So how do you approach a relationship like this? First, know yourself. Communication and honesty is the key. No one does not want to be manipulated nor do they want to be used. Once the reality settles in that "people are not who they really are" and the things said, done, felt, and believed are "untrue", then you will harbor your need to protect, defend, and even acquire in order to capture what is intrinsically you and yours. The need to hold together a sense of who you are, based upon who you thought you were, will ultimately kick in and lines will be drawn. Misconceptions, falsities and fantasies become paramount in Co-dependent couples' lives and only those things that are based in reality (material items) become the equalizer. When joint bank accounts, homes, mortgage and leases, cars, businesses, children, loans, debts, and investments come into play, the holding of hostage those items either due to the other or in shared interests are at hand, bitterness and violence can and will occur. Which is why it is usually suggested that individuals should, " Count your loses" and let it go. In doing so, the significant other has no claim over you or your emotions and their need for revenge becomes mood for the things that were assumed the most painful or important to you now no longer matter. All aspects of the relationship becomes a moot point and the relationship or the connectivity to each other is suddenly and completely severed. Then and only then can the real business of departure and closure occur.

In the case of manipulation, it is the provider or initiator within the Co-dependent relationship (initiator meaning the person who is the main provider within the relationship), that may feel the most abused within the relationship. Depending to the maturity, the moral and or spiritual foundation of the parties involved, will determine how easily/quickly the separation will occur.


Third Party Involvement and the Knowing of What You Want

In all separations, third party involvement may be necessary and is encouraged. Not as an active participant, but as mediator and or support. Friends, if aware, can be brought into the middle of conflicts and social situation as mediator of situations that can in effect escalate into tension but if that third party person is of neutral character, the wisdom of truth can reach the ear of those that may not listen to their significant other.

Councilor, police officers, doctors, church representatives, neighbors and family are often people brought into intense full separations. But this does not have to happen if rules are discussed and agreed upon. In either case, support should be sought out when the actual Separation occurs to protect both parties’ interests. In the case of legal issues, a witness should be present by both parties and decided upon by the opposite's mate. This means that the friend (s) of the mate can feel comfortable with the end result. If the separation is one which is not amicable, then communication is recommended between the chosen third party representatives. Personal property, finances, and or the completion of commitments should be handled through third parties. When it comes to property and possessions, remember the rule, "Count your loses". This is why all possessions should be negotiated and agreed upon in advance. If the tensions for gathering those possessions are more than a person is willing to loose, legal matters can always be instituted. But if you can't accept to live without certain possessions, think in terms of your Peace of Mind and the limited amount of material items and move towards your third party support system.

Peace of Mind Publishings Inc. ©1999 Shazza Nakim and holds All Rights Reserved 2008