SOUL TRAIN WAS SO GAYS

My sister had a party not long ago, a self-organized self-indulgent Birthday party; it was one of those Waaaaaaaayyyyyy Over The Top Black Tie Affair Jammies. So as family do, we all attended and grinned and tolerated it for the LOVE OF FAMILY. Before the end of this "Self Indulgence of Grandeur", the DJ announced that it was time to do the Soul Train Line and he dedicated it to my sister. By the way, did I mention that my sister is a DIVA?

So we all got up and lined up, Men on one side, Women on the other. Some were excited to get up and flaunt their hot mini dresses (a shitty mess if I ever saw) and ther MOVIE HAIR, the fellahs were trying to set themselves up to get with the HOTTIE across from them (last chance for a post-party bootycall) and show just how much gyration they had left in their hips. Then there were my Parents, Brother and younger Sisters whom all had that, “Oh I am so over this” look on the face, and then there was ME, the oldest of the family and HOT to make a fool out of myself. Ol’ ASS ME, in a suit, giving everyone my best Cellie shimmy between a corridor of Black Folk bent on reliving a cultural ritual. A ritual that connected every generation in the room to each other through music, laughter and dance. Fun was had by all, and we all came home satisfied that we continued a tradition of the Soul Train Line that will out live and remain current far longer that the “slide” up to that funny Soulja Boy dance he’s pawning off.

That was then, this is now.

Lately I have been a night owl. Not a good thing on my part because now, in the daytime, I am like Fred Sanford talking to Aunt Ester, "EVIL to the core. I don’t like anything or anyone until the afternoon. Since I try not to pollute my mind with the idiot box, I temper what I watch which is usually the NEWS or the History Channel. So this particular afternoon, as I began to become normal and accept the fact that I am part of the HUMAN RACE, I saw Soul Train was about to come on. I had gotten away from the show for a while, back since the days of SHEmar Moore. I mean Don Cornelius was the MAN. That tall ass 'RANG-A-TANG of a man intimidated everyone that came on the show. Brotha could palm your face with his index finger and thumb and still slap yo’ ass with a pinkie. I LOVE IT cause you had to come correct and if you didn’t, you felt a CHILL IN THE AIR, like the music industry Mafia was waiting in the wings to bust you up some. You had to SING and DANCE and TALK, none of that scripted RAP or Fluff. THE DON had no problems asking what your mother’s name is, your church you attended and the last time you were there, if you could actually READ and WRITE music and if you couldn't THE DON asked you "WHY NOT"? He was THE DON and everyone kissed his ring for acceptance. Then SHEmar Moore took his place and that was when I knew The Don wanted a more hands off on the hosting.

I understood why Shemar Moore was there. He was the eye-candy for the GIRLS and GURLZ, with his Pretty Ass Self. Problem I had was, he was trying to play like he was hardcore and a THUG. No No No No No, Negro was a bi-racial (confused) little boy traveling the WORLD and living in AFRICA. Last I checked the Bloods and Crips didn’t quite reach that far – YET. I mean, SHEmar didn’t even grow up eating Government cheese (then again he could have eaten African Government Goat made with Rhino Blood for all I know but its not the same as the ORANGE BLOCKS here in America) but still he was not hardly HARDCORE or Ghetto so I was like “Auuggghhh, Don’t Talk!! Just smile, lick your lips and keep your shirt open and show the nipple for the ladies.”

Then there was Dorian Gregory, MR CHARMED himself. He tried the Hardcore thing too but all I kept seeing was the dorky kid that use to have a runny nose back in the day who read comic books and ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch all the time (sorry, I’m channeling MORNING TIME RIGHT NOW, I’LL CALM DOWN SOME). Then they took it a step further and was dressing him is Bozo Gear by Jay-Z and Puffy. It was like watching my father being dressed by those QUEER GUYS FOR STR8 GUYS but could only shop in 125th Street in Harlem on a welfare budget. “Come on, ladies, you can’t possibly tell me Mr. Charmed looked good in 8 Ball jackets saying Yo Yo Yo all the time?” I kept hoping those three little White girls came a chanting, "THE POWER OF THREE WILL SET YOU FREE." It never happened and eventually he was taken back to the WB or to some Never Never Land or OZ or some magical place called Hollywood.

Yet I continued to watch occasionally, even when they threw Nick Cannon up there. He was good considering the direction of the show, Young, Hip-Hop, Rap and Lip-Sync’ing. I knew then that you weren’t going to get people like Stevie Wonder, Earth Wind and Fire, The Isley Brothers, Smokey Robinson, Chaka Khan, Roy Ayers, Keith Sweat, Take 6, Brian McKnight, Aaron Neville, Will Downing, Kenny Lattimore, Regina Belle, or a Yolanda Adams to appear anymore. I like Nick and all but he is a BABY compared to these music legends and mainstays. I mean what is he really going to ask them, “So do your kids have the new PLAYSTATION and can you DROP IT LIKE ITS HOT?” That was when I stopped watching, as I can also assume, did many others that grew up on the TRAIN.


Then something wonderful happened. THE DON, in his greatness decided to NIX the Modern Train and go back to the Basics with Classic Soul Train. Now we see all the re-runs of the Train dating back 30 years. I AM LOVIN’ IT. Not only does SOUL TRAIN air the classics, where I am, it comes on in the early afternoon and late evenings. I get a double shot of nostalgia. I sit with family as we talk about the music and the fashions. It’s like looking at your parent’s Yearbook …. better yet, my younger brother and sisters looking at mine. "Yeah, THE TRAIN got it all, the Bell Bottoms, Lifts and High Heels, Afro and Afro Puffs, Big Ass Chains, Big Vibrant Colors, Tight Pants, Brothas Twirling, On the Floor Crawling, On the Floor on Their backs, On the Floor with Their Legs in the Air, On the Floor with Their Legs Spread in the Air, Splitting, High Kicking Pass Their Ears and Shaking it Harder than the Women, Colorful Ascots Around the Neck, Shirts Tied in a Mid-Rift …..HEY … WAIT A MINUTE …. YO THESE KATS ARE GAY !!! OH MY GOD, I HAVE BEEN MIND RAPED AND DIDN’T EVEN KNOW IT. "

For years I have been doing the Soul Train Line and picking up my SMOOTH MOVES from the Rocketts and I was none the knowing. "Oooooooo DON I’m coming to CHICAGO AN’ GiTTin’ Yo Black Ass." You tried to turn me out. Where’s Mitt Romney, where’s Mike Huckabee, where’s Donnie McClurkin, where is Barak Obama, where’s 911?

Man I look at my SOUL TRAIN now and not only reminisce about the good ol’ days, the music, the idea of my being at a certain place in my life when performers appeared on the show, but I am also reminded of how innocent my mind was as a child and also how deep the Black Community’s practice of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” was a big part of our culture when it came to Soul Train. It’s so much like the Church preaching how HELL has 5 Star Hotels Suites waiting for Homosexuals and then turning to the choir to lead the congregation in sending them off promptly and by first class ala the BIBLE and a little song.

I asked my mother about Soul Train and she was like, “STOP IT. That is not true. Everyone danced like that. Even you.”

Oooooooo I didn’t like how that sound. Soul Train had me a bell-bottom, big shoe wearing, Afro carrying, tight pint-striped pant wearing, shiny shirt showing, hip wiggling, multiple turn-spinning Drag Queen in training?

“Mom do you have any pictures or movies of me?”

“No but I think your uncle have a few cause you swore you were Michael Jackson when you were younger. Big pants and doing that Soul Train dance. You sure loved you some Soul Train dancing.”

Then I began to remember it all. How I channeled little Michael Jackson and the clothes and why I now have a Trick Hip and then I start the SCREAMING IN MY HEAD.

"Noooooooooo !!!!!"

DEFINING "Superman Dat Ho"

I was in a situation where the television was watching me when a CNN Reporter was talking about the phenomenon of Soulja Boy. "Crank dat" was the topic, how the Boy's music is#1 in downloads, ring tones, instructional videos, how cheerleaders are doing it at football games and etc. The Reporter when on about how fun and exciting Soulja Boy was and how he's a role model for future youth musicians.

Doing my usual research online and fell upon this article about Soulja Boy and how lyrics reflect the commonalities in Youth Culture. In response a young man replied to the online discussion with the following comments. Before I judged, I had to step back a bit and look at the BIG picture and examine if in my youth would my friends or I would have done what this person suggested by decree of Soulja Boy. Although I personally would not have done this act, I'd have to say that even in the enlightenment of my generation, there would be a percentage that would have, its just the actual numbers I am at a lost at confirming. I then looked back at that CNN Report and thought as well, in all her praise, she never broke down this little fact in her presentation, no mention about the lyrics BUT much praise to the BEAT. Interesting don't you think? Here is the online response of this kid on Soulja Boy:

ANONYMOUS AUTHOR: "So here's the deal. Most dudes (myself included) has been in the situation when you've been trying all night to sleep with a certain young lady. Y'all have been messing around for hours and you've tried everything from "I'll still respect you in the morning" to "Just let me put the head in" but she keeps shutting you down hard like a faulty car trunk. Well, according to our songwriter/rapper Soldija Boy, now's the time to give up and "Superman Dat Ho"!!! I'll try to keep this as clean as possible for those of you who read this at work. So basically, you let her fall asleep and you commence to "take things into your own hands", you know, make it a party for one! Hopefully you catch my drift by now. You then "release" on her back while she's sleeping...Next, you take the sheets and cover her up with your little soldiers still on her back. What happens next is actually the funny part! Throughout the night, your liquid love will dry and wind up sticking the sheet to that lovely lady's back. When she awakens the next morning, she'll stand up with a sheet stuck to her back like a cape! My friend, you have just Supermanned dat ho!!! LOL LOL LOL It don't get any better than that. I will say that I've never done it but, I can't front, I kinda want to now LOL LOL!!! She has a cape!!! LMBAO! Are you kidding me?!?! Even funnier is that, I came across this little jewel of information cuz my boy B-Hop found out from his teenage cousin! The dude, Soldja Boy, who sings this song is 16!!! What the hell is going on with youth! In the words of Jay-Z,..."I'm afraid for the future…" i AM

SO GOING TO TRY THIS OUT !!!"

Soulja Boy Pissin Off A Balcony

This is why it's important to practice an "Each One Teach One" philosophy in our communities, Soulja-Boy. The more I keep on top of what today's youth read or (or as teenagers and teenager wannabe's say) generation write and listen to (and that's almost laughable since kids are reading less and watching TV), we need to intervene with a sense of pro-active consciousness and responsibility. Now that TI is on a PATH TO PRISON, the new assault on youth behavior are in the actions of people like AKON, SEAN COMBS (ain't he almost 40?) and Soulja-Boy. Certain actions might look like fun and comedic but there lies actions that cross the line of inappropriateness and illegality.

Just the other day I was talking to an associate of mine whom I hadn't seen in a few years. We were discussing how the neighborhood had and is changing and why Whites, through gentrification and the politics behind it, were moving People of Color out especially since the kids on the street just don't care or respect enough to join in the fight their community. Within minutes, and I swear, as if on cue, I was in a Boondocks episode when a young Black kid no more than 16, walked down the street pissing straight out in front of himself, penis whipped out, just striding down the street talking on his cell phone as people and children approached in the opposite direction. There, just leaving a trail of urine as he sauntered to his destination. He had no care, no conscious, no modesty, no respect. JUST NASTY.

THAT'S NOT HIP-HOP NOR RAP OR EVEN BLACK

But, here I am working on a writing assignment when I get a piece of video from a writing buddy on Soulja-Boy and I am smacked in my Common Sense again. Yet another example of how not to represent ones power, influence or roll to model for our youth. Watch the Video first before continuing:

I DIVERT MY THOUGHTS FOR A SECOND

After watching a recent episode on The Boondocks (The Story of Thugnificent) where the show's premise was an infamous rapper "Thugnificent" moves to the neighborhood of Woodcrest, with his friend Macktastic and Flonominal, eventually leading to Granddad becoming annoyed with his new neighbours. Your basic older generation conflict of image control and respect vs the Niggaism of youth and just not giving a damn. After watching this episode, I took a second to examine if I was coming off too hard on Black youth because I am now moving into the point in my life where I am becoming my parents and envying my loss of youth. Then I later watched a program on PBS where teachers had gone into the slums of India and rescued children of prostitutes and sent them to school. All the while these children are learning, they are aspiring to become doctors, lawyers, engineers and business owners so they can come to America and become something greater than the children of the streets. There was common sense, a drive and a chance to capitalize on opportunity in each of them and that was when I said, FUCK NO !!! Regardless of their assistance, the help, the possible MOST FAVORITE IMMIGRANT STATUS, they would still have to put in the work to become what their goals are. With the amount of resources we have in the US; libraries, mentors, apprenticeships, community advocates, churches, libraries, sports and music programs (and I am not referring to Government Sponsored Programs), and even in the poorest academic settings, there are still outlets for additional resources if you actively seek them out, I can only say that our youth are just lazy, embarrassing ignorant and it's by choice.

Don't Call Me Uppity !!!

How I was raised worked out well for me. Now I know to some that might sound 'Uppity' but hear me out on this. I did not come from a fatherless family with a prostitute mother, my upbringing was not an easy story to read nor one traveled. My parents were not wealthy or anywhere close to wealthy. I wore all the stereotypical ghetto attribute labels but the one thing that divided me from my friends and family was that I did not want my conditions to define me. I made opportunities happen and I took advantage of all things that came my way. Not like a hustle but as distinct decisions that build upon the next as steps toward success. A sacrifice of what was "fun" verses what was "work". The payoff in the end was my goal(s). I made my progress on my own and not something community based. Because in the end, your successes and or your failures are your own. yes there are people who can and will help but you need to know where and when to ask for it or avoid those things that will pull you away from your growth. Do I have mansions and millions? No. But I do know where I came from and its a lot better than where I was. My choice.

When I look at my friends from my youth, we all had the same opportunities/possibilities and I can honestly say that in my desire to move toward my personal success, their choices were their own. Their decisions where based upon "fun" as oppose to "work" and now that we are all adults, when we speak, their thoughts often go back to the point in their lives where they step away from that path and walked in a different direction.

Who's Fault?

For these kids from India, the bastard children of prostitutes, it will work out well for them and they will be in America. The actions of that boy relieving himself in public like that, I'm not so sure. He was ignorant and nasty considering the fact that we live in a civilized nation with plumbing, running water and bathrooms. You can't tell me that no one ever taught this boy that what he was doing was wrong. He clearly just didn't give a damn. No excuses. Worst case, the boy could have crossed the street and walked into the park -- AH YEAH, THERE WAS A PARK ACROSS THE STREET. He could have relieved himself there. Then there were a number of shops with bathrooms along his walk. Hell, the shop that I stood in front of talking to my friend had a public restroom. How do you begin to address the "disconnect" when no one want to listen or even try?

The Soulja-Boy video, (outside of the fact that you have a 17 year old in a room unsupervised), the kid was in a hotel room. Last I checked, hotel rooms have bathrooms. WHY ARE YOU DROPPING URINE ON THE HEADS OF PEOPLE? Not to mention the balconies of the people below. THEN YOU VIDEO TAPE YOUR STUPIDITY??? Even more so, you are more concerned about having your tiny penis being filmed or having the stigma of being "gay" than being arrested and thrown out of the hotel? GO FIGURE?

I have been told that I sound like Bill Cosby ranting about the poor. I really don't know how to take that. I mean I do believe in a lot of what he has to say yet I am also part of the community he is talking about as well. In being that, and having an open mind, much of what he preaches is true and behind closed doors, inner city parents, clergy, educators, small business owners, and others agree whole heatedly. It just seems that those whom scream the loudest opposing Bill are those who capitalize on the disenfranchisement and perpetuation of Niggaism in the poor as it relates to People of Color.

Bill Cosby has a book out entitled, "BLACK PEOPLE, COME ON", which should be the focus of Black People for the next ten years. Say what you want about the man, he has a serious point to make and we are missing it because all we only see is Bill Cosby as a comedian when he is a man who wants to re-connect the disconnect in all of us by keeping our youth from pissing on the path which lies before them.