STOP WITH THE DNA CARDING

I grew up in a predominately Black community. I say predominately Black because there were pockets in my community where Latinos lived and a few Whites. We never had any real problems because once you peel back the language and the assumed differences in “culture”, Dominicans, Puerto Ricans, Cubans and other Spanish speaking groups were just as Black as the lot of us. The running joke in Black Circles was, “You ain’t nothing but a Nigga that speak Spanish”, which was usually said at the height of extreme emotion due to someone's posturing of assumed SUPERIORITY over the other in the Ghetto. And yet, when the chips were down and lines where crossed when Downtown began opposing their rule and or reign upon the Black and Brown people Uptown, SHADE OF SKIN became the unifying force behind the community’s survival. This is how and why Harlem has survived this long as a deeply rooted Ethnic Community. Even with the new ethnic groups moving in such as Africans, Caribbean, Eastern Europeans, Asians and Mexicans who are the new cheap labor force imported to do the dirty work for DOWNTOWN, it normally takes a big issue that is directed specifically at People of Color for all of Uptown to band together, champion Perestroika, and put aside their cultural differences. Although not as often as I would like but it does happen.

Since growing up with parents that taught that one should take advantage of every opportunity that comes your way, I have made that my ticket to success and taken every opportunity to travel and attend schools outside of where I live. Private School, Boarding School, Magnet Schools and Charter Schools, I have had a mix of different types of educational systems up in me and yet my best educational experiences came from PUBLIC SCHOOL. There, you never knew what to expect and yet the differences prepared me more for the differences in people than all other schools, which emphasized more on how different and SPECIAL they were from those other people and their INFERIOR education. Don’t get me wrong, I am not KNOCKING non-Public Schools, I’m just saying that NOT ALL OF THEM ARE AS STACKED AS YOU’D THINK THEY ARE.

So where am I going with this? Well in my youth I occasionally would run into the MULTICULTURALIST. Those people who would introduce themselves by what BLOOD they had flowing through their veins. You know the type, “ Hi, my name is John Doe and my father is part German, Brazilian and half Choctaw Indian and my mother is Cajun with French and Dutch on her father’s side.” Then I would reply, “OK, you can call me Sha, I live in Harlem and can you please excuse me while I stand on THAT side of the room with the single stranded DNA people.”

I know you have come across half a dozen of them in your passing at one time or another. Some think that this is a perfect way of breaking the ice, for starting conversation about one’s rich and varied DNA trail. Quietness is kept, its NOT. Often I have to step back and determine how I need to acknowledge this in public. I can tell you this, when I encounter this, I need to determine if the person is telling me this because their MIXTURE is suppose to be their PEDIGREE; noting the pureness or impurity of it? Is it part of a person’s insecurity that they need to be classified so greatly that one needs to throw everything out there like a fisherman’s net in hopes that someone will snag on and reel them in? Is it a fear of having that 1% Black Blood, which makes you BLACK in America? Could it be the person, quite possibly, is the FLAVA of the week, that fashion statement of BEAUTY for the moment? Is saying to me, a big BLACK, DARK CHOCOLATE, EXTREMELY ETHNIC LOOKING MAN, that since you aren't multi-DNA’ed, I am the lowest of evolutionary tree. How should I respond socially after an introduction like that? Am I better, worst or should I put on my serving jacket and start passing out drinks, hors d’oeuvres and caviar because my singular bloodline makes me obsolete and problematic to the eye and the rest of the World?

Not being insensitive but I do understand the dilemma of bi-racial people. The psychological effects and the social stigmas of being “between the races” are well notes as tearing people apart. In my youth, looking at race, I never really understood the big deal with being bi-racial, it was pretty much common place in my neighborhood to see light and dark skinned people. As a child I will admit, I was cruel to a few dozen kids, (mainly because I JUST DIDN'T LIKE THEM) but I recall the name calling toward bi-racial kids. The harshest of the name-callings came from those Non-Public Schools I told you about. Those schools where WE were special and better than the Public educated low lives in Public School. Private Schools were masters at being divisive. I had a best friend who the girls just loved and the boys hated. He had that curly light brown sandy colored hair, green eyes, pretty white teeth, blah blah blah (yeah fellahs, back in the day Light Skin Brothas Were In) and he was my best friend. Yet all the while he and I were partners in crime, he was hampered with the nickname, “White-boy”. To add, it was best to call him this behind his back because to his face, some of the worst fights in school history occurred.. or at least the history of my time. What made our time together so contradictory was that my nickname was BLACK JESUS. As a child, it was the name of DEATH. Today to be called Black Jesus, you are expected to COME CORRECT yet White-Boy can either ostracized you, get you a date on I LOVE NEW YORK or become President of the United States of America.

The calling card for ethnicity might be important if a person sees it as a means to elevate themselves in a racially conscious America but when you address this to Black Americans, it can be an edgy thing that often will backfire in your face. Black folk are VERY sensitive about RACE. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. To not accept it is a serious SELF DENIAL that ranks up there as melanin not existing at all. For Whites that “Do Not See Color” that myth isn’t true either because People of Color and the WORLD sees the tan lines. The issue isn’t seeing or not seeing COLOR; it has more to do with acknowledging and respecting the differences in people, which also includes gender, and other physical attributes that come with RACE and Ethnic diversity.

There is this under lining drag on the fabric of American society and in parts of the world where to be non-Black means better. To be associated with anything Black, African, Caribbean, Black/Latino permeates the texture of an American Better-Than psychology. The average (White) American will say this is not so. The Average Latino in public will say this is not so but remember, I live in an area where Black and Brown people live side by side, so sharing of personal stories is common. The role of skin color plays largely within the Latin communities as well. Like the "Color Consciousness" of Black Americans, the same insidious human transparency exist from the South of the Boarder to the tip of Brazil where African and Native Americans were enslaved and intermingled with European dominance and servitude. But it just don’t stop there, the FEAR OF A BLACK PLANET scares the people in India as well. Just recently I watched a BBC Special where the people of India purchase millions of dollars in skin lighteners in order to PASS. Passing as a term coined by Black Americans for being LIGHT SKINNED enough to either PASS as WHITE or light enough to not UNSETTLE Whites in society. Here is one of those Skin Lightener commercials that run in India.

After the media induced, race and gender based South Carolina caucus, it was said that Bill Clinton insinuated that Barak Obama’s win was “insignificant” because Jesse Jackson had won in the same state as well. A fervor of racial/anti-racial charges ensued most of which was not true. Charges that Bill/Hillary were playing the RACE CARD and the Clintons were using facts to distort the significance of the Historical moment plus the media broadcasted that Bill Clinton was trying to make Barak Obama MORE BLACK in the eyes of the nation, it was too much for even America to take. A fact that I found hard to consider close to anything factual from the start. Why would Obama even care if America had considered him and MORE or LESS BLACK. Especially is his published book, The Audacity of Hope, he had addressed his thoughts on his own bi-racial makeup and the affection he shared for both his African (Kenyan) Father and American (White) Mother's background.

I immediately came to the defense of both Obama and the Clintons arguing that this whole matter was MUCH ABOUT NOTHING and that AMERICANS are not that stupid to fall for it. Then I was hit with another curve ball two days later, OBAMA GOES TO KANSAS. His intentions, to gather support for his run for President but most of all, to revisit is ROOTS. The roots of his mother. His White Roots.

Huuuuuuummmmmm? I said while scratching my head. COULD THIS REALLY BE POSSIBLE?. I’ll give him the benefit of a doubt, and yet THE MEDIA covered the wayward child of Kansasian Roots as this precious piece of Americana. If the hands of gentleness for the MOMMA OBAMA story was ROCKWELLIAN, it was as fresh as Tara with the Gone With The Wind theme playing in the background. By reports end I wanted to see Obama in silhouette standing high before corn layered fields with a soft wind and a setting SUN shouting to the WORLD, “And I shall never be BLACK no more!”

Now I know Obama does not feel this way BUT after what had occurred in South Carolina and the issues of RACE, you have to question the immediate Public Relations design Too Black/Black Like Jesse Jackson taint before leaving. And if there was any hint Obama had any Black Blood, it was clearly WHITE WASHED away in the story reported about his HOMECOMING TO KANSAS. As a Black person, that has his own perception, I saw this as the ultimate assimilation of a Native Black Son. Even the reporters had asked Obama, "As a youth do you think you would have been able to eat chilli at the soup counter?" Barak Obama never answered the question directly because he know the answer would have simply been "No", but who wants to be reminded of that. That would smug the perfect picture if you did. Like all things, the BLACK perspective isn’t important until it CAN (often doesn’t) effect America. Obama's visit to Kansas affects America because throughout all the trials that make up a Barak Obama, regardless of the abandonment of his African Father whom was never present in his life, its the notion that Obama’s REAL family starts with his Mother’s side (Oh did I mention his mother’s side is related to Vice President Dick Chaney?) and ends there. This is what was most important in Obama's re-imaging. There were no more Bi-racial indicators after his visit. How Obama’s grandfather felt like an outsider and left his backwards hometown to see the World and how he was open enough to allow his daughter to date a BLACK man is admirable, but it does not touch the hearts and imagination of Black people on a whole but it might jerk a tear from Whites, bi-racial persons and the MULTICULURALIST who struggle for acceptance and physical existence when confronted with difference. By the time Obama left Kansas, the Media had successfully made him more WHITE countering the "RACE" baiting accusations of Bill Clinton's comparing him and his campaign to BLACK JESSE JACKSON.

HEAR ME WHEN I SAY THIS, I do understand that a person is not 100% of any one thing or another, so it shouldn't be the header of your Personal Resume of Life, especial when you first meet a person. You aren’t advertising your Whiteness or your Boriquaism or your Blackness or a combination of the three, trust me, I can see it. All I want to know is your Name and eventually your Character. True you are a make up of your past experiences, your parent’s DNA, the Blood that flows in your veins but all of that is beneath your SKIN. Bad enough we fight over skin color, now I have to deal with blood concentrations as well?

Issues about Race are never about Blood or DNA, its about Rights and Respect. In America I would argue more about acknowledgement or Race than the ignorance of it. Look at it this way, you are a child living in a dysfunctional home (as if there exist a REAL FUNCTIONAL home these days) and for years you had been verbally abused, called names, embarrassed, made to feel like you didn't belong. Years later as an adult, you somehow survive yet your relationship with your own family is strained. Although you still respect your birth parents, your connection is strained at best. The disconnection now begins to effect your personal relationship with your children. The root cause, you have unresolved issues with your family which keeps you personally from moving on and growing. You find out that on your road to recovery, a dialogue and a moment of forgiveness is needed. The only problem is, YOUR FAMILY isn't hearing it. Denied Resolutions is the problem.

When I hear that a person is dropping his or her multi-racial multi-cultural DNA CARD I only hear UNRESOLVED DENIED RESOLUTIONS for who they believe there are. When I walk down the street and a DOG jumps out to bite me, I am not discerning if it is a Pure Breed or a Mutt, I'm Hauling ASS because a Bite is a Bite. Same as all people, the multiculturalist, the bi-racials, the pure-breed Aryans or the Lost Children of Israel on 125th Street in Harlem, New York. Don't give me your DNA Card just tell me your name. I'll decide later to call you crazy or not to care what "blood type" you are. 

SAGGIN' SPELLED BACKWARDS IS .......

My best friend called me the other day to talk about one of those moments where you need to talk to another person SANE ENOUGH to find balance. Well this day my friend called and asked if I had seen the recent Dr. Phil Show. Before the pause, I immediately replied that I don’t watch Dr. Phil. To be honest I have never seen an entire show and had the desire to. Personally it's something about “Dr. Phil” that’s annoying. Maybe its his voice or the judgmental way he talks to his guests (as a therapist, throwing judgment at people seems a bit unprofessional and contradictory to your intentions for helping). The show that got my good friend in a huff was entitled, "THE BAGGY PANTS DEBATE" which I thought would have been misleading since BAGGY PANTS are not the same as SAGGIN' PANTS. One is a fashion Design and the other is a fashion statement, but I'll get into that meaning and differences a little later in this post.

Anywho, I’m on the phone when my friend asks, "How do you feel about the passing of a law to arrest kids with SAGGIN’ pants”? I took a long pause and a deep breath because I knew that based upon how I answered, the conversation would rank up there with GOD and POLITICS. So after looking for my inner voice on the subject I answered, “I’m for it. I hope they arrest every last one of them.”

Now it was my turn to get THE response, which I knew shocked my friend. “Why would you say something like that? You know that the law will arrest Black kids disproportionately to White kids?”

Still thinking about how I was going to respond I said, "Yeah. I know. That ain't news. You asked how do I feel about the making of the Law, not the people who are MOST effected." While getting deep into the conversation I began to think about the last time I talked about the effects of SAGGIN' in communities and its perception to others and ourselves. I looked back at this blog posting I made a while back. This is a little bit of it:

Cop Frisk Boy With SAGGIN Jeans - Entry for November 01, 2007

This Video was floating around the Internet with the caption "GAY COP GOT A TASTE 4 A FIGGA"

On so many levels, the caption piss'ed me off, but its a daily thing to confront ignorance so I take a deep breath and count to 10 and open the email. Anywho .... I take a look at the Video and here you have a young black boy standing, hands above his head being frisked by a White police officer. So I ask myself, "What makes this Video so popular"? I guess, in my opinion, it is suppose to be HOMO-EROTIC with this officer frisking the kid and in his attempt to see if the person had any drugs or weapons, he touched the kid's penis and asks, "What is this?" Either the kid had a hard-on or it was the fact that his pants were hanging off his behind so low that the officer couldn't do anything within the standards of frisking but touch the kids private parts. If anyone whom have been frisked can tell you, even well dressed, you will get situations of a brushed hand on the privates. So its not unusual.

I know some people may have mixed emotions on this, mostly funny, but I didn't laugh. All I could think was, "This Mofo dressed like a fuckin' Hobo is standing up here getting stripped and treated like a criminal." The whole frisking and touching, and excuses/apologies meant nothing. Its almost embarrassing to watch. To think that its circulating as eye-candy and a Gay thing also bothers me because at first glance it isn't .... unless this kid was stopped at a location frequented by Gay patrons either looking for or selling their bodies for sex? Either way, its hard to come down on the officer when there are so many things WRONG before you even acknowledge the frisking by the police.

Was this a Gay Police Officer trying to "cop" a feel? Does it really matter? Why are we even giving this that much energy when the real question is ... "Where is that boy's father?"

So now that you have a little background on how I feel about the subject, I answered back, "You know, looking at this from the perspective of a parent, an adult Black man fighting daily against negative stereotypes, and blessed with Common Sense, I believe that if the parents don’t feel that having their kids dressed dysfunctionally, the community not stepping up and making a statement that wearing one’s pants down to their knees is not socially acceptable and the only explanation for dressing this way is because its Hip-Hip, then I can see how Moral Law unenforced naturally evolves into a Social Law."

Of course we went back and forth with the Constitution and Freedom of Expression and I retorted back that Freedom of Expression covers those areas or Protests, Verbal and Written Speech, Art, and Religion. Since dress can be considered under personal expression, it should not be allowed so far as it fringes upon the common society standard or moral behavior UNLESS it is for the purpose to OFFEND AS A MEANS OF PROTEST. Like burning BRAS, burning FLAGS , Re-enactments or growing your HAIR long. In these cases, your have a need to express and Challenge the status quo and with the ending of the protest of expression, you move freedoms forward by challenging an UNJUST LAW. Prior to the new community laws being passed, there was no LAW existing that banned SAGGIN.

Since the NO ONE COMES BETWEEN ME AND MY CALVIN ads in the 1990’s, societies have allowed for the freedom to show the BRAND NAME of one’s underwear. The issue is, those labels now come accompanied with the totality of one’s ASS and thighs and from the front, “a little NECK”. (For those unaware of the term “a little neck”, it means the showing of the top of the groan or shaft of the penis. This is equivalent to a Woman showing cleavage in a low cut blouse or dress.)

In my many interviews with youth on the “whys” for SAGGIN I only get the general responses, “I like the way I look”, “I’m down with the Hip-Hop Nation”, “This is how my Boys roll” and my favorite, “This is how you are suppose to wear them.” That last response is also highly JUSTIFIED by the parents since they seemed to think they would be condemned or punished for suggesting to their children that wearing pants properly is NORMAL. Since the Fellahs are wearing the boxers, the Sistahs going SAGGIN substitute the THONG making the imagery (much like the Prison Culture of its origin) of EASY ACCESS a visual reality.

So my friend and I were going back and forth about Women wearing Sports Bras in public and I responded that they were also banded until WOMEN PROTESTED. Now a woman can walk up and down the street all day with MASHED BOBBIES. I brought up the fact that I personally would not have a problem with women walking down the street TOPLESS but that won’t happen. In a PROTEST women can go topless in designated areas so now the BREAST PATROL hang out down on the beaches of Sandy Hook, New Jersey. Again, there was a PROTEST to make that happen. There was the fad of wearing underwear over the clothes pushed upon susceptible suburban girls by Madonna. That cam and done. Recall MC Hammer Pants? The Biker-Short that hijacked Men’s Testicles and displayed them for the World to see. As much as I liked those days (I got plenty of HOOKUPS back then), that came and left like all FADS but the SAGGIN stayed. Not only did it stay, it got more reveling and more crass. So if SAGGIN isn’t a fad, as everyone believes, then it has to be a PROTEST. And if SAGGIN is part of some GRAND PROTEST, what is it. Do the kids even know? As an OLD FART I may not know but I do care. I am tired of Black kids in any generation dressing like CLOWNS. There was a time when Black dress was that to be admired but like all things Urban, it has been dumbed down and turned into spectacle or comical. There was a time Urban Gear had Black folk dressing like futuristic Space-walkers with wet hair (the Gerri-Curl), then we evolved into walking rainbows in circulation-cutting attire, then on to walking clowns in Bold Stripes and Poka-dots. For a brief moment we were wearing clothes BACKWARDS (Remember KrisKross). Once fashion became more militant in dress, almost OVERNIGHT the Po' Dirty Boy and Ex-Con look became standard and stayed. Now you have the kids holding up their pants in order to walk across the street ignoing belts and belt loops to keep them up. As a mental game, I try to guess how many times a SAGGER pulls up their pants between blocks. My best guess was 18 times (remember New York City has long blocks). I guess the the real question for me with urban fashion is, WHAT'S NEXT? So does society. If you take the evolution of SAGGIN, the next stage is either No Underwear and pants down to the knees or No Pants and only wearing long designer underwear. "WAIT, aren't the kids wearing pajama bottoms and long white t-shirts already?"

So if locking up a few thousand kids (BLACK kids because we all know that they will be arrested disproportionately to WHITES) then maybe, JUST MAYBE the PROTESTING will begin to define the REASONS why SAGGIN exists and why the FAD stayed longer than any other in America. Just Maybe we will finally make the argument clear for not only the community BUT the kids walking around like SHEEP …… my bad PENGUINS.

WAITING FOR RESULTS

Have you every experienced fear.
Real fear.
Fear beyond the physical.
Fear beyond the dark.
A fear beyond death.
A fear which transcends the unknowing.
It’s a pounding in the heart.
A chilling of the blood.
A shortness of breath.
A fear that brings you in touch with your spirit,
as you try to call upon God.
But the fear just gets in the way.
Interrupting.
Separating.
Alone in your thoughts,
and nothing touching you,
the fear paralyzes
because you can not feel.
You're gripped in an emotion so compelling.
So complete.
Total and independent
it’s beyond rage.
Beyond hatred.
It’s like a seed that grows from a single thought
and grips the heart.
Squeezing the essence from its flesh.
Turning into poison
and stopping everything.
Including your life.

When the truth sets you free, we all cry pain into tears.

THE GLOVES ARE OFF NOW ... LETS GET POLITICAL

Now I can take the kid gloves off and talk politics.

John Edwards, its time to get real. Your time has passed and you have John Kerry to blame for that. In your bid to capitalize on being a Vice President before you were seasoned (Sounds Familiar) enough in Washington, you got BURNED. America is well known for throwing away and forgetting its losers. Second is a loss. Third, and you might as well not have gotten on the starting line. Oh yeah, it’s still a loss in the eyes of Americans. Unlike other countries where the people admire and respect their political leaders (winners and losers) as much as they revere TEACHERS, there are a significant number of people in America whom have designated you to limbo. So far you have proven you can stay alive in a campaign, you just haven’t quite injected LIFE into the nation because all they see is how the ball was dropped in 2004.

Edwards, you have proven you can possibly be elected as a political candidate. You can even drive enough ambition towards doing the right thing for people and hold true to your pro-Union beliefs (or at least until it no longer becomes non-profitable). My crystal ball prediction, join the post-Presidential tour with Jimmy Carter, George Bush Sr. and Bill Clinton. You can even start the Vice-President’s Club with AL GORE (since he’s the MAN OF THE YEAR right now) and crisscross the country building effective coalitions to bring back those important UNIONS (minus the corruption) that is badly needed. Between you (labor) and Gore (environment) you can collectively bring back the DREAMS for future generations. John Edwards, you can be the very fiber for returning labor movements for the United States and the creation of the proposed GREEN LABOR MOVEMENT (since I agree with John McCain when he says that certain jobs are not coming back and we need to start looking towards creating NEW industries). We know there will a lot of opportunity in the Green Labor Movement once the new Administration is elected. Just make sure you don’t forget the BLACK FOLK. I know deep in your psyche, maybe not on the deep surface BUT deep deep deep deep down in there you are pissed those South Carolinian BLACK Folk didn’t vote for you but, I still GOT LOVE FOR YOU, because as a Northerner, I need a JOB.

Since you have been playing nice lately (you did get a little venomous and skanky at times – in a lawyer kinda way), I do know that your accumulated DELEGATES will have to go somewhere. I feel that you will end up giving them to Barak Obama. This will give Obama the seats needed to possibly beat Hillary. If you decide to do that, THAT WOULD BE A SERIOUS BUTCH MOVE. Do you know how many Black Folk would make you the second coming as the New Whitest Black President? People will actually take the "YOU ARE BLACK" Kango from Bill Clinton and give it to you on the spot. Just to let you know, with a strong move and a gift like that, it will come with a price. BUT then again, look at what your BOYS did to you while campaigning. What is your PRICE? Vice Presidency? A clear and unfettered path to a CABINET position, possibly LABOR? Or can we see a back door deal to hammer at the shady deals and atrocities the current Administration has done to throw the very nature of our nation’ stability into chaos?

John Edwards, I doubt you will just fade away. You aren’t the FADE AWAY TYPE. Just not the most politically savvy type. The savvy that you and Obama preach is the bane of Washington; which WILL eventually INFECT you as it did the “CLINTONS”? Like I said earlier, you were the GOLDEN CHILD once, you lost and now you are OLD, tired, part of the establishment and they just don’t trust you like that anymore. It’s the curse for losing. You did what all first term Senators do, YOU ACTUALLY VOTED THE WAY THEY TOLD YOU TO and now you are part of the problem. You are also the casualty of the highest level of Affirmative Action. Come on now John, did you really think you were going to get the job when you are competing against a Woman and a Black man all of which have the same credential as you and there has never EVER been one as President in over 200 years? You lost as soon as you put in your bid. Let it slide, haggle your delegates, get your deal, and take your VISION for a better America on the road. You’ll make out better and so will your family because my prayers go out to your WIFE. You don’t really want to be President. Your HEART isn’t into it nor is your SOUL.

Hillary Hillary Hillary ….. is all I can say about you right now. You are kinda like that person on the job who knows her shyt and you can chill with every now and then BUT you have to get to know her mood swing or end up on the unemployment line because you were 3 minutes or you said something about her hair being nice and got hit up for sexual harassment. You then say to yourself “What the Hell happen?” and the answer would be you just got caught up on a day when her attitude wasn't quite as FRESH.

Oh I like you Hillary but I’m not feeling a lot of your FRIENDS. I understand you Hillary. I know the demons you walk among and if there is truly a HELL, you have lived there for 8 years. In doing so, you have made yourself an expert Demonologist. You’re like Hillary the Washingtonian Slayer. If you follow politics, which I would go as far as saying 70% of American citizens don’t, all the players behind the curtains are running their own elections behind the scenes. A regular old HELLMOUTH under the WHITE HOUSE.

The Deals that were made years ago in CONGRESS are now being re-examined because no one really looked this far into the future. The ones that did are the BIG PLAYERS whom work their Mojo Internationally. Much the way the Bush Fear Tour to the Middle East went recently, their deals will continue regardless of who is in office, HOPE or EXPERIENCE. Only those unfamiliar with Washington can be caught up in the Campaign of Hope or Experience when the BIG PLAYERS, those people who even the President of the United States have to respect and call upon to get things moving are so entrenched that their roots extend back before the Nixon years. Just think, Caroline and Ted Kennedy just endorsed Barak Obama, the same Kennedy who was President of the United States, the same person assassinated for having HOPE, the same man who was an acting political inspiration in the 1960’s and whose family his entwined deeply within the very fabric of the American political system. The brand that comes with the Kennedy family is helpful and inspirational but they are also a Political Family with the curse of Promises Unfulfilled. We also know that not all Kenney’s think a like nor SUPPORT a like. Robert Kennedy Jr., who ACTIVELY works with the Poor and is a Powerful Voice for BLACK and BROWN People support the Clinton’s. Did anyone hear that SOUND BITE? We may have doubts in our country about political families such as Romney, Bush, Clinton but now you have another dynasty; the Kennedy’s, standing tall behind Obama, cousin of current Vice President Dick Chaney. When it comes to political families, my caution is not so thrown to the wind.

Who are we really kidding that any one person can dismiss those people who are part of the foundation of Washington? Who are we to assume that these people will give up their bargaining POWER because someone proclaims that they are the CHAMPION OF HOPE. Transformative politics work both ways, you transform THEM, they transform YOU. In a nutshell, in the end you will end up like a Ronald Reagan, most beloved but not really all that liked as you have a Bill Clinton, most beloved and yet not all that liked either. Like a BUFFY the Vampire Slayer and her HELLMOUTH, you’ll have to have everyone in Washington SHARE power and agree to bring down the HELLMOUTH and its Demons and then rebuild it from Scratch. Last I checked, the last person that did that is now called a RACIST because he said that same thing out loud and in public.

For his guilt by association in his, “WHY YOU SHOULD LIKE MY WIFE HILLARY?” campaign, Bill Clinton is being asked to SHUT UP and JUST GO AWAY. The last time I heard WHITE Folks say this about anyone with as much venom and disdain, was and is whenever OJ Simpson is in the public eye. HELL, even Anne Coulter gets more respect. It amazes me how this has happened after the media, the pundits, the analyst, the competition, everyone asking, “WHERE IS BILL”, and when he finally appears, The mud is thrown. OK Bill arrives at the party by invitation and then you tell him at the door, “Don’t take off your coat, just turn around and go back home.” PEOPLE, why did you even INVITE THE MAN in the first place?

This isn’t really the question. What the real question is, “Can you RESPECT Hillary enough to do what needs to be done and Bill just designating himself as the Yes Madam type." Is this a WOMAN thing, a Clinton thing, a Political thing or in her past has she, through TRANSFORMATIVE POLITICS created enemies along the way because for a while, we didn’t even think about Bill for a long while. There are real questions that can be answered when you follow POLITICS and ignore the pundits and analyst. BILL CLINTON IS HILLARY’S HUSBAND. A brilliant man, respected around the world, he knows people, he knows media, he knows Manipulation, he can cut you off from the pass before you even throw the ball. He also know that AMERICANS are slow at getting things and he plays to that as well by planting sign posts ahead so that by the time everyone gets there, they’ll know what direction to go. This is why Hillary began campaigning for SUPER TUESDAY when everyone else was concentrating on New Hampshire. That’s planning for LEADERSHIP and not MANAGEMENT. My only concern for you Hillary, and I have the same issue myself, YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO HIDE YOUR EMOTIONS BETTER. Girl, you having those KILL BILL expressions tight and locked up on your FACE, that ain’t right. At least control it until you get in the Oval Office.

So what we have as of now is that Obama has won South Carolina. In a MEDIA MANIPULATION of Sound Bites is the end result of the "Rhetoric vs Reality" argument at its best. According to the media, BILL and HILLARY are RACIST. Ladies and Gentleman, Smart Black Folk and Slow Black Folk, Bill and Hillary Clinton are not “RACIST” nor are they or did they PLAY the RACE CARD. I mean for crying out loud, the MAN worked for YEARS to get medical supplies (medical supplies that the US throws away amounting in the Billions of dollars) affordable medicines and treatment for HIV and AIDS to people in AFRICA … SUCCESSFULLY. I really can’t say I know many BLACK, LATIN, ASIAN, WHITE or celebrities (outside Bono and Angelina Jolie) who even took a GRAND effort to even talk publicly about it more so ACT, myself included.

As much as I say this, and truth be told, “SOUND BITES” aren’t the whole story. And yet people still listen to 3 seconds and run with the self-proclaimed awareness that they have heard all they needed to know. This is true for all the News, for Politics, Gossip and even Religion. When you have the SERIOUS news mediums referring to New York Senator Hillary Clinton as “Billary”, that should be a clue you are being DUMBED down to. And you should be MAD AS HELL AND NOT TAKE IT ANYMORE.

So now we have a new sound bite that makes BILL CLINTON a Racist for daring to compare Barak Obama to Jesse Jackson? What is wrong with comparing Obama to Jackson in a realm of Historical Significants. The truth is both Jesse Jackson (Black man from the state if IL who ran for president and won the caucus of SC, talked about Change and Keeping HOPE Alive) and Obama (Black man from IL who IS running for President of and won the causcus of SC, talked about Change and bring HOPE to the American people). Why is this off limits? One political analyst stated this was Bill Clinton’s way of making Obama BLACK. Even I had to stop typing and look up when I heard this comment. It amazed me to think that not too long ago … there was a question that Obama wasn’t BLACK enough? Now Clinton is TRYING to make him BLACKER? By doing this, Bill Clinton is igniting WHITE hate towards Obama because of his skin color. 1. If a White person was prone to NOT vote for Obama, he or she would not need Bill's permission to do that. 2. Do the media really think Americans are THAT stupid? I mean Amercans are a little slow but not stupid. with a little click and point, the Internet will detail that Jesse Jackson clearly and handedly won South Carolina in 1984 and 1988 with a commanding lead DUE to the Black vote. The Clinton's conceeded that. It might have been a bit JADED in response BUT not racist 3. Jesse Jackson is not as polarizing as the media would like you to think. Only a small margin of people dislike him and those that do can CLEARLY see that there is a distinct difference between Obama and Jackson. Even the state of Illinois isn't that Blind. Overall, a whole lot of nothing about NOTHING. This ranks up there with the media BS of the Clintons playing down the work of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Wake up people, you are in the MATRIX.

How dare we question Barak Obama’s political career? How dare we question Barak Obama’s actual plan for America as oppose to his general view for it? How dare anyone ask questions that Non-Blacks would like to ask but fear they would be look upon as being Racist? My view, if you are running as an American of BLIND FAITH, then any question asked would be view as not having a racial over or under tone and would and should be answered. You overly SENSITIVE BLACK FOLK, please put down the Malcolm X Autobiography and allow for reality to settle in. This is politics and not PERSONAL. Even if those questions are coming from an ex-President who last year this time you would drop to your hands and knees and kiss his ALLIGATOR SHOES, respected Black people in all social and economic conditions, supported and loved by Black People for it, wake up and acknowledge that during his term, he helped send many Black people to college, to own homes, expand the number of churches, created jobs and career opportunities and created more BLACK MILLIONAIRES in America than any other Administration EVER. Then again, Americans do love to kick the "elderly" to the curb and so do the Baraka philosophy for the old guard. Bill you need to be in the Nursing Home buddy.

In amazement to most people, I like Obama. I like him a lot. I just don’t like how the people around him, uses him for disposing good people to the annals of obscurity and he PRETENDING that, “It ain’t me”. I don’t like people who benefit from the silent trashing of others (media and BS pundits all included). Nor do I like dirty POLITICS. The backbiting, the serpent-like behavior and the masks that they all wear in clear sight of the light.

Did I expect Barak Obama to win the SOUTH CAROLINA caucus? Yes. Jesse Jackson won it, any Democrat speaking to Black people directly would have won it. It’s a largely Black populated state and contrary to popular belief, Black People do vote as a Monolith and saying that and seeing the reality, People should stop the whinning when the truth is standing before us all. The kid gloves are off now so, "say what you mean and mean what you say". Now will have to see what the rural States of America think, what the desert States think, what the Deep Southern States think. Currently the results are 2 states to 3. Technically 2 to 4 if you take into consideration Michigan that was unofficially a Hillary Clinton win. Although Obama is ahead in Delegate seats he does trail in Super Delegates which will be the decider after Super Tuesday. Even with the moneys and endorsements from the Northeast, how will Middle Americans speak. Do they hate Hillary enough to give Obama a chance? Do they go with another candidate preaching HOPE? After giving Jesus a sales pitch, brought to them by a Cowboy from Texas, can Americans really affort to take chances with another bad President on top of tornados, floods, fires, more deployed regiments to Afganistan and the continued selling of America to foreign interest? And what happened to the other candidates who might have been still better than the front running choices? And then there is McCain. Middle Americans love their WAR VETERIANS. Since none of the Democratic front-runners have served in the military, that may be a problem even for Romney.

I wonder how many more sermon type speeches America have in them for the continued campaigns? Once you listen to the frontrunners from state to state, they are repeating the same jokes and personal stories of the people they meet. I thought I’d see more of Oprah on the road. I honestly feel that a lot of people thought they’d see her as well. We know Hollywood is in on the GAME and if you are lucky you might see a celebrity or two. What people want is The Second Coming Candidate. I am ready for Change, but I do question into what? Will that change be a metamorphous into something Bigger, Bolder and Beautiful or will it mutate into something Unrecognizable with Expendable Parts that can be cut away and discarded. That can only be answered simply by the people wanting a President that is a Manager of people who will do the Changing or a Presidential Leader who will give direction for those too lazy or stubborn for Change to happen.

What makes a person want to go into US politics? You’d be surprised at he answers. Yes I said answers. Political Office, on the surface, is a CIVIL job, an act of service to the Government by the Government, for the Government. It was never intended to be a CAREER PROFESSION. That’s the easy. The complex, Political Office is ultimately to balance the classes in America. To keep the Rich from getting too WEALTHY and the Underprivileged from overwhelming and chopping the heads off the HAVE ALLS, thus creating a REVOLUTION. This is why the emphasis is always on the Middle-Class. As long as you can keep that base happy and occasionally re-defining the definition of the Middle Class (cause I love it when BLACK Folk claim they are middle class when they are just outside the door from a homeless shelter and unemployment) you can jury-rig any election through words, faith and popularity. It’s a science. The Clintons know this. Anyone who paid attention in school, took economics, history, civics, political science and international global theories based on culture, political geography and lastly LAW, you too can become a Politician possibly President. Look at the Democratic frontrunners. All are LAWYERS. All studied the aforementioned or that with a combination of other factors. We only get into the gray and muddy when we mix up the politics with Private Sector CEO’s, Military and Religious fanatics. Just look at the Republican side. Bring all of the above together and concentrate them in WASHINGTON and you have HELL on EARTH. If this is true then maybe Hillary the Slayer is the Chosen One.

I AM AN EMOTIONAL WRECK TODAY

Lately I have not been in the best of moods. “No shyt Sherlock?!?”, you might say but this is different. Normally I am frustrated at the lack of common sense in the world or the blindness people go about their lives without questioning or even examining the “why” they do and or think about things. I haven’t been frustrated lately; I’ve just been in a mood of absolute “surrender”. I don’t like that feeling because I am a fighter. I am also cursed with having near-infinite patience with people. Where others would throw in the towel and write a person off, I think about an old sign I had in my cubical back when I started out in my first job. It was a picture of a little Black boy looking angry and it read, “I know GOD loves me because he don’t make no Junk.” That picture got me though a lot of (at that point in my life) tough times. So when I get to a point where I look at a situation and I say, “This is JUNK”, its over. I’m done. This is the end. FUQ IT!

I have been fighting through these feelings and it is beginning to give me those “stress feelings”. You know what those are, the sleeping, the eating, the headaches, the muscle cramps, the idle thoughts of ….., well you get the picture by now. So I decided to take a day off hoping that by doing that, I can re-align my thoughts with my feelings and salvage what I feel is a build up of JUNK.

Today was to be my total BLACKOUT of media and technology. No television, news, cell phone, Internet, ATM cards, just me and my mind. It didn’t last long. From the time I left the house I got hit with train delays, loud kids screaming and cursing at each other and people with Ipods blasting music, kids with their portable video games and homeless beggars. I finally thought I found a quite place so I sat in a café for some tea and then this French guy sat next to me and started talking like he was at the center of a concert, was using his Skype and surfing YouTube with his brown tooth girlfriend. On the other side of me, a Brokeback Asian Diva was making out with this String bean of a White kid who looked every bit of an “ecstasy” burnout, then these pre-op YOUNG Black kids come in and stand in the middle of the room just staring and laughing and giggling and pointing and I said, "that's it …. NO MORE"! All this was within the first hour of me leaving the house. SO I do the next best thing, I go to the movies.

I pack up my book, THEM, by Nathan McCall and note pad (for my creative juices) and head to the local theater and decide that this should be close enough to a ME time without too much of an interruption. Once I get to the theater I had a choice; The Bucket List (too Baby-boomy), 27 Dresses (can’t stand Katherine Heigl, even before she sabotage’s Isaiah Washington’s career on Grey’s Anatomy), Rambo (Stallone, give it a break you are OLD AS HAIL), First Sunday (too Ghetto and it sound too much like a Friday’s sequel), Mad Money (if it ain’t SET IT OFF, women robbing banks is corny) Untraceable (I was swearing off technology today) and Coverfield. Cloverfield it was.

So I sat down in the theater and chilled. I won’t go into details as to what is was about since some of you reading this may not have seen it yet BUT I came out feeling even worst then when I had gone in.

So you know I am already in a FUQ IT mood, well now you have a bunch of White Folk (and an East Indian who by the way is guilty by association) go through the whole film being MOVIE STUPID. You know what I mean, Danger is on the left and Freedom and Salvation is on the right .. What do they do? They go LEFT. Not only do they do it once but they do it throughout the WHOLE FREAKIN’ MOVIE! Not at one time did any of the Mofo’s make a good decision. Even when they were getting chased by (and you should know this by now even if you haven’t seen the movie) a GODZILLA MONSTER taller than skyscrapers, and you still go toward the DANGER. I am FRUSTRATED more!

What got me through the movie wasn’t the acting, or the special effects (which by the way were EXCELLENT), it was the fact that it brought back my personal experience with 9/11 in such a vivid way. So vivid that it opened up serious wounds that I thought I had closed or at least come to terms with.

For my friends and fans who don’t know, I worked in the Wall St district as well as the Worlds Trade Center. It was, back then, my responsibility to work with clients who had offices at the Worlds Trade Center and many of the trading groups what were located in the area. On that day, I was to be in the towers on the very floor that got hit by the first plane. The very fact that I had decided to call in late so I could “vote” in the New York State primaries that day and take my time going in that morning was ground level just as the events began. Instead of going in to work at my usual 6 AM, I am blessed to be here blogging with you today. Not only did I witness the destruction and the chaos of the day BUT I had to go back down to Ground Zero on 9/12 and had been there working in a Disaster Recover role for months there after. In Cloverfield, and I know the people involved in making this film, had to have used Ground Zero photos, peoples' accounts and stills because it was TOO REAL. It was so real that I felt a sense of emptiness. Not because I didn’t care but because over the past 7 years I have been drained of all emotions pertaining to that day. Much like the last tear shear for a loved one that had passed and you finally begin to realize that at some point you have to begin living again, even with a hole in your heart. I sat there, in the dark with my mind being pulled in so many directions. Watching the people in the film screaming and running confused and dazed, walking in shock. There was a scene where people were leaving the city over the Brooklyn Bridge in a mass exodus wondering “WHY” was this happening to them? That too was me on 9/11. I marched from lower Manhattan over 200 blocks uptown to Harlem, over dust and dirt, fires, crushed cars and trucks, helicopters and jets over head, parametics and fire engines, military guard and Red Cross workers. Many people watched from the safety of thier homes or work, few lived it and are still trying to get through each day. Then there are people who were so disconnected from the event that they pretend to have Patriotic emotions waving flags and posturing buttons. Sitting there in the movie theater, I wasn’t quite as ready for Cloverfield as I had thought.

I didn’t like the ending much. Not that I live for happy endings, LORD knows I pray for a few of those every now and then, what bothered me was my personal test of LOVE and what I would do in a similar situation as a Cloverfield. Prior to 9/11 I would have told you I would “run into a burning building to save the love of my life”. Today, life has given me pause. I know it sounds COLD but I am a different person now. Try standing at ground level and watching a building over 100 floors crumble and fall and you watching as people you know either trapped or jumping out of windows to their death come down with it. Imagine the people charged with saving those lives knowing that from ground level, the building IS going to come down BUT you go in hoping that your Guardian Angle is at your back protecting you. I knew standing ground level that the Worlds Trade Center buildings were coming down, and in my personal wisdom I moved away before they did. As I moved blocks away, they eventually came down and I became numb. I was numb for a long while. I found out today, I still am. Cloverfield reminded me of those feelings again.

That day a few things were confirmed for me. Some things changed but I do know that I am not Movie Stupid. I also know that I will not DIE for love. In my HEART I think I am suppose to LIVE for love, and if I had to die for love it should only be for GOD or in the name of GOD for MANKIND. In 9/11 or in Cloverfield, that did not happen and I ended up more wounded by my past and real horror than cured of my initial emotions of stating to the world, "FUQ IT!"

So what did I do after Cloverfield? I did what any respectable, po’ Black man would do. I snuck in to another movie. (Yeah I know that was real Ghetto but a Brotha paid $11.25) I walked into the Suspense film, UNTRACEABLE. It was cute. It was about a Crazy White boy killing White folk he didn’t like and having people on the Internet assisting him in doing the killing. NOW YOU KNOW, THIS IS WHAT I NEEDED FROM THE START.

BY ANY OTHER HAND

When thrones grow larger than roses
the battle for beauty becomes that much more evident
when peddles are protected from human hands
wanting to pick them.

In one's youth
skin is loose
and bones are strong
yet in time they tighten,
becoming painfully delicate and fragile.
Too ugly to be touched.
Too ugly to be picked.
Like thorns.

And in the end,
as all things in life,
both the beautiful and the ugly,
are touched by winter.

The rose
and the thorn
will feel a human hand,
a hand that by any other name,
will bring it to an end.

By Any Other Hand by Shazza Nakim
Copyright © by Peace of Mind Publishings and with permission by Shazza Nakim

A TALE FOR THE BLACK BUSINESSMAN

Step by step
I placed profiles
and portfolios
before Executives,
Governments,
and Universities
only to find
that this Black man,
who placed the Sun in the sky
and the Earth at his feet,
fed billions,
and built the pyramids,
taught an illiterate World
to use the mind
in place of savagery,
I found that this Black man,
who gave GOD a name,
and a shape to the Universe,
a man who traveled the continents
by land and by sea,
seeded the soil
and built pillars, arches, walls and domes
to be walked through and copied
like doors
this Black man now uses
in rejection
all because he is too qualified
and one more than the quota.
This Black man
leaving with the knowledge of Bach,
Chopin, and Mozart upon his lips
and the answers to both life and living
in the shadow of erasure,
this Black man
denied his quest for existence
because he is too qualified to sweep floors
-- floors he placed underneath his feet,
to sit at desks
-- desks in corporations he created with
the blood,
sweet,
and tears of his essence,
this Black man denied the ability
to build,
to evolve,
to grow
because he had the qualifications of strength
and wisdom,
and courage
conditioned by an eternity of existence,
can only but leave a resume to be considered
and filed for future reference.

A Tale for the Black Businessman by Shazza Nakim
Copyright © by Peace of Mind Publishings and with permission by Shazza Nakim

YOU F___ UP MY DAY

You know I try to look at the good in all things before I speak. I like to listen and learn before I judge. Better yet, I try to HEAR. I hear because it’s deeper than listening. Listening is a passive action. You just stand and or sit there and allow the sounds to come to you BUT hearing requires action. You have to not only take in the sounds but the spirit and intent of the sounds that come in to you. In saying this I HOPE the person this Blog entry is meant for HEAR ME when and “IF” you decide to read this it is PERSONAL. (One Man .... I know you are out there listening but TRUST its not about YOU).

I woke up this morning with a dream about my Father. To all reading, my father past on last year from cancer. It was a changing moment for me because it closed the door on a chapter of my life that has brought me closure on a number of levels. I talk about it sometimes but I rather express it within my ART. I believe that DREAMS are mental signposts that can help you heal, give guidance and exercise desires in ways that “Sane Folk” could never do in the waking World. I like DREAMING, I don’t do it much, but when I do, I make note of them all the time. Today, in my dreams, my FATHER gave me a sign and I didn’t know what it meant until I walked through the door to begin this entry.

If I hadn’t said it before I’ll say it now, I had a good day until ……

I work up and took my time to prepare for a doctor’s appointment. I was a little stressed because I had just had a bad experience with a previous physician whom had a piss poor professionalism and bedside manner. The one thing I HATE more is having to demand and pull information from a doctor about my health and he or she having an attitude about giving it to you. I dealt with that for a little over six months until I decided to kick ol’ Doc to the curb and get another MORE qualified doctor. This new doctor was ON POINT. He did in one visit what my previous physician still hadn’t done over 6 months.

For me, that is a serious load of GOODWILL bestowed upon my spirit. So in that moment, on a cold and windy day, it was SUMMER and SUNNY all the way home. Mind you, I am on a waiting list for a New Place, a list for this great place I had been trying to get into for a while. So you’d think my blessings where raining upon me all full blast. Taking my time to get home I decided to whip out the camera to take pictures of the town. I was thinking about taking Blog pictures as my theme because LORD knows my Blog fans rarely see the LIGHT side of my personality. Soon the photographer in me came out. I haven't allowed myself enough ME TIME to take a few shots so I needed to test my eye, keep it sharp. As I took on subjects, the POET in me came out as well. I took pictures of people shopping, kids on the street playing, dogs and posters, gates and trees, store front signs, all the things that make up living in an urban city, the Metropolis called Harlem.

So I walk past a one of the high-rise projects and see a great pictorial concept, an iron gate in front of a tree. I looked at this contrast as any artist would; hard and soft, man-made and natural, dark and light, and many other possible contrasting examples.

As I am taking my picture I hear a voice behind me. “Hey you!”

Now I would like to put out there in the UNIVERSE, I neither respond to anyone who responds to me as HEY or YOU nor would I ever consider you worth my personal energy if you put the two together. This ASS did that.

I take my picture and then I begin to continue on my way when I hear from the same direction (which was behind me), “Excuse me, what are you taking pictures of? Buildings?”

It was a police officer in a squad car. In my mind I go, “WHAT THE F%*# DO YOU WANT”, but I give the benefit of the doubt. So I responded, “I’m taking pictures of this gate. Is that against the law now?”

“No, I was just curious.”, the officer responded in a smirk and condescending manner.

Lies. I had just walked past 5 drug dealers on the corner and 3 double-parked cars and several other possible easy citations and this Mofo rolls up on me for taking pictures of a gate and this MADE THEM CURIOUS? I would have given THEM pause if I was dressed like a THUG with my pants SAGGIN' in 20 degree weather, or I was carrying a lot of BAGS and wearing a beanie and a long ass Middle-Eastern gown, if I fit a stereotypically ARAB PROFILE, or was walking around constantly looking over my shoulder and circling the area, I mean anything that would give a RED FLAG for criminal behavior but I was walking and stopped for a minute and TOOK A FREAKIN' PICTURE OF A TREE. Last I checked, I didn't hear of a secret organization of Photographers banning together to DESTROY America, much less, A HOUSING PROJECT IN HARLEM ( Shyt I'll leave that to the Empowerment Zone and the Crooked Snakes behind that organization).

I doubted this cops sincerity and his curiosity even less, so I had to decide how I was going to do this. I knew my next move; the next words that I’d say would either have me calling Al Sharpton just down the street or home Blogging off this situation in a RANT. Then I recalled the Dream I had earlier. In my dream I was visiting my father where he was living. I had to wait in line for my turn to use a one-person elevator when I was called to come forward to take my turn. As I got on the elevator, the Keeper or Elevator Operator asked who I was going to see and I told him. He responded, "How long has it been since you have visited your father?" I responded, “A while.” The Keeper then hands me an envelope and says, “Here, this is for you, he told me to give you this.” As I take the package I wake up.

A fairly simple dream but for me, it had significance. My FATHER in his youth was a man who knew the truth and when it came to using his mind, he was exceptional. That was his gift to me, and the package in my hand was that SIGN.

I know I am prone to SPEAK FIRST AND THINK LATER when it comes to a person’s RIGHTS and mine was being messed with BIG TIME. I did not want to end up like my father, who has seen HIS DAYS with police and brutality and civil right violations in the 50’s and 60’s and being placed behind bars because of his actions and or mouth and this was my lesson. "You are needed more outside then in right now, LET IT SLIDE." I have leaned in my activities against community OVER POLICING, it was more important for me to give the illusion of their POWER than TESTING it.

I decided to flip the script and humor the officer sitting on the passenger side so I walked toward the car and asked, “You do know what a BLOG is?” He hesitated as if taken off guard. “Ahhhh yes I do.”

“Good, then I don't have to explain to you that having pictures are a part of a good one”, I replied back.

“What is the BLOG about?” the cop asked.

“The BLOG is about me, I am a poet.” As I stare in his eyes as a challenge.

“REALLY?” he smirks back.

“Really. It has poetry and more. The more YOU might not like.” Long pause.

“And why is that?”

“Because I talk about people like you. Sometimes, not in the best of light.” I say with a smile.

“What is the BLOG address?” The cop asks.

I tell him the site address and as I do that, in the back of my mind I say to myself, “You just might get a promotion if you report it to HOMELAND SECURITY.” But I decided not to push it, we did our dance already and the song was over for now.

So the officer writes down the address on a sheet of paper and then shows the other officer who was driving (and silent all the while). As I back off from the squad car I say, “I hope you enjoy it. Oh, and don’t take everything I post personally. It’s just who I am as a POET.”

My day isn’t quite over as of this posting so maybe I can salvage it with some good MUSIC or reading Nathan McCall latest book, THEM. I get so exhausted when shyt like this happen. And it happens all the time to SO many people who are innocent and law abiding. Now you might think I am blowing this OUT OF PROPORTION but this happens all the time, policing urban areas like Military war zones. One might be happy for this type of policing if one lived in a crime infested area BUT for my area, the crime crack downs are MORE SO of what Mayors Giulliani and Bloomberg would deem, QUALITY OF LIFE offensives. And since those Guilliani years, the type of OVER POLICING that he established and allow to flourish, it has taken on a whole new face. Because of the radical changes Uptown and then factor in the economy and loss of home and housing, you now are getting a community that is ANGRY just because. And these rookie Cops sitting with the season Cops left over from those days of "Shoot and Empty Out You Gun And Worry About The Cover Up Later" isn't going to keep flying anymore. Especially Uptown. When a person is stopped for taking pictures of a Housing Project gate I have an issue. Taking pictures of Highway exits and Toll Booths I can understand. THERE IS A DISTINCT DIFFERENCE you idiot. My anger doesn't come because I was stopped for picture taking, my anger comes from YOUR DUMB ASS STOPPING ME while ignoring the F&%$$ Drug Dealer across from you.

Where is my JILL SCOTT CD? I need a HIT of something POSITIVE!!

REFLECTING ON A LEDGER (R.I.P.)

Sorry if I make this Blog about the death of Heath Ledger all about me BUT this is my Blog so I have to do me Right?

I want to send out my respect for the life of Mr. Ledger. Mister because I don't know him. I never met the Man, never watched any of this film (that including Brokeback Mountain), I didn't even know he was an American Transplant from down under. And although he lived in the same town as I, I really doubt he took a trip Uptown to hang, chill or even concern himself with the plight of the Black and Brown people BUT he is a Human Being and deserves the respect that comes with LIFE given to him by GOD or whatever Higher Power he believed in.

As part of my Faith, DEATH is a transition. I don't fall out on the ground or drop mixing bowls screaming DAMN DAMN DAMN! For the most part, I sit back, say a prayer for the person's past life, reflect on that person’s life, pray for the family of the person and forgive and or bless them for their trespassings, reflect again on that relationship, and then send the soul off into the next transition with a closing pray. Then I move on with MY LIFE. No tears, no pause and no stress. It sounds a little cold but DEATH should not deter a person from living, if anything it should accelerate your appreciation of life thus the Reflection of the person’s existence while alive, the family and their spirit. All of this traditionally happens within my family within 24 hours BUT modern society allows for 3 days.

As a child I never was inundated with a lot of personal death of family and friends. Call it a blessing or an urban charmed life but my family, for the most part lived a decent life and avoided many of the tragic events that effect Black and Brown people living in urban areas. Granted we have all the precursors for stress and eating related ailments, we as a whole, do keep breath in our bodies very well.

So in saying this, why talk about Heath Ledger? Well, in my reflection (and the over reporting of the boy's life) , Mr. Ledger died "allegedly" of an accidental mixture of prescription and non-prescription drugs. One of those drugs was to help him sleep. He had complaints that he could not sleep. He became a night owl and the conditions of not sleeping had affected him seriously. Mr. Ledger had told (and I hate third party stories -- so full of gossip) an associate that he often felt anxious, exhausted, irritable and his mind, when his body was at rest, raced with thoughts and ideas often preventing him from sleeping. When he did sleep, he averaged 3 hours.

BAM!!

That is me most of my life. I find that I go through phases where I can not sleep at all. I have not made concern of it because it’s been this way for me since I was a child. I think my father had this same condition as well. I know that at its worst, I was in college and would go 24 hours without any sleep and then would nap HARD for about 3 to 4 hours and be fully refreshed and functional. I use to joke about having Vampire in my family and usually was a running joke for all of my friends. I would even have associates that would party and club all night then call me to hang for breakfast knowing not only that I would be up, but down for a FREE breakfast at 4 am.

The work I often did was graveyard or one that would or potentially be an on-call 24/7 job. At my worst, I would do an 18 hour day for 3 weeks straight; 1 week off where I'd go into a coma 5 of those 7 days. Now you'd say I was crazy BUT I made "stupid" money and it was my lifestyle (mind you it was during the CLINTON YEARS when Brothas worked and got PAID).

I think what got me through many of those sleepless days was the fact that my MIND, as active as it was, had an outlet. Being a writer, I have had many days when I would sit at a desk or table with pen and paper (fingers in keyboard now) and write without being conscious. Come back days later and say, "DAYUM, WHERE THE F@#&% THAT COME FROM?" There was also the fact that I READ a lot. Magazines, books, comics, newspapers, journals and with the Internet my mind had something to work with beyond my bookshelves. When I was shallow, I joined a 24 hour gym or I'd go for a 3 to 5 mile run. Bottom line I had resources to release whatever energy that kept me from sleeping.

Is that always a good thing, the NOT SLEEPING? Not really. You need to sleep because SLEEPING is a form of healing for the body. Healing for the mind, healing physically and spiritually and yet like a smoker needing to quit, I just can’t do it.

Now here is the irony, when I do sleep, DON'T YOU DARE WAKE ME! I am so EVIL is my sleep is interrupted. Why, because I love sleeping. Since I don't do it often, when I do get to experience it, I sleep hard, deep and long ..... IT BECOMES MY MENATL SEX. And no one wants to be interrupted during SEX.

My reflecting of Mr. Ledger's life has given me pause to consider that I might need to re-examine my lack of sleep as a condition related to something NO YET SEEN. Maybe its also a blessing that since I don't take drugs and blessed to be in my right mind, I have side stepped the potential of going out BUTT ASS NAKED with all of the WORLD watching.