How to End a Relationship - On A Positive Note

These are some of the ways in which a person can determine if their relationship is good, bad, or all out ugly to be in. Not all relationships are like Camelot nor are they like the classic romance novel or film. Some require little effort if at all. Others are a day in and day out challenge. Then there are the relationships that just are doomed to fail, with no fault of each party. How and when do you begin to gather the courage to end a relationship that does not work? This is a topic that this site will deal with as a way to help those in need of advice.

The beginning of a relationship can take anyone through a whirlwind of joy and happiness, but ending one can be pure torture as well. What each person must acknowledge is that once you understand the circumstances by which you are in that strained relationship, ending it is for the betterment of the other. In other words, “it has to end". How that is accomplished is a varied and non-scientific method but for the most part, there are some ground stroking roots for doing it without the danger of hating the very air that sustains life to the other. Here are some resources for doing what we would call the civil way of doing things.

Ending Relationships: Saying "Good-Bye with Love"

The following are the guidelines which will help you understand how to use this site's information.

• Definition of a Relationship and When You No Longer Feel "Good"
• Weighing the Risks and Making the Separation Work
• Third Party Involvement and the Knowing of What You Want

It is by human nature to be wanted by someone. The human need to be accepted, loved, a part of a group or social structure. For years, men, women, and children deal with the issues of acceptance of one's self, family, friends, and co-workers. The concept of self-identity and self-esteem has taken on a new and different image in today’s society with the growing number of get better/get personally healthy icons. Talk Shows and News Programs labor to keep pace with the needs of the people to know "What to do?" But sometimes it’s not a simple self-esteem issue but one of compatibility. Has someone forgotten that "Love Connections" are not always with the first, second, and sometimes tenth person you meet? Simply put, people do see relationships as a commitment of one's time, money, and efforts to be loved and or be in love. It’s because of this modern day philosophy that ending a relationship can often be difficult and often violent.

What is unique about relationships is that all parties going in know and accept that any chance of a love affair to flourish, WORK must me attained. For males, that is an alien concept, but none the less, it’s something that each understand and thus a commitment to at least try is made. The first sign (in the beginning of a relationship) of a potential problem is the "P" word. PROMISE. Never promise. Promises, like faith, are a tried, truth, and tested practice. Relationships are just as they are, "commitments". Faith is in what you ultimately believe in, not the purity of the soul. Example: you can not love your mate more than the Creator or God. Your mate is the by-product of your faith and your belief, the end result of being blessed. Not the factor of your existence. Also look at a promise much as you would equal to that of a lie. Lies are told only for one of the two reasons. One: A lie is told when a person is afraid of another person or the consequences of their actions or the others. Two: A lie is told when the person is uncomfortable with keeping up or maintaining a specific expectation for others. Promises are made in hopes of gaining continued admiration from others without proof or conviction much the way spirituality is to faith.

So in the beginning when one person to another indulges in the "Honeymoon Stages" of a relationship (the beginning of a relationship which can extend from 4 weeks to 2 years), promises of happily ever after is pursued through dinners, dances, movies, travel etc. At this point, you have to be real enough to know and or realize that this is a part of the promise. Once the "Honeymoon" is over, only the real person is left. Do you really like what you see?

The concept of love has many levels. The one I want to touch upon is that of the committed love or what I like to call the "I feel good" factor.

When a person is in love, or says that they are in love with another person, what they really are saying is that "I feel good about myself when I am with you." A quick example, if you dislike a person, you don't like the way they make you feel. Regardless if they are sitting next to you, across the street, or on the other side of the World, they make you feel bad. Feelings of stress, anxiety, tension, and pain, came to mind. All of these feelings/emotions are related to "bad" feelings and as a result you avoid them. In love, you are attracted to the opposite of those feelings and thus pursue them at all chance.

At this point, you may be asking, "Why on Earth should I be thinking about entering into a relationship that may have disastrous results?" Well to be honest, you don't know and that is the beauty of the socialization of love. The answer, of course, is that emotions, if properly utilized, can be a highly effective way of dealing with good feelings and understanding when they are not true and when they are compromised for the sake of a "promise' of commitment. (Note* When I state a promise of commitment I don't mean infidelity, I am describing the act of staying in a non-evolving relationship because of a "hope" that it will get better at the expense of each persons "good" health).

Definition of a Relationship and When You No Longer Feel "Good"

So far we have defined what a relationship is. Although there will be those that disagree but for the most part, there is a consensus that there are two people involved and that each must like, enjoy, or "love" the others' companionship. Mutual activities (i.e. social, spiritual, physical, intellectual, financial) must be to the liking of each person and deepens the bond. A balance of ideas, goals, and a bright future together are the premise by which each look forward to each day in their lives. If any one or more of the aforementioned is ignored, thrown off balance, or even challenged to any degree, a sense of tension is experienced. Its to the overall degree that we see a breakdown of the overall relationship.

To some, this would be a wake up call to solve the imbalance that one feels towards the other. This is also the time when the person(s) begin to examine the true nature of the beast they are now involved with, no matter how insignificant the matter is. The challenge to the other's sense of being has been addressed and a checks and balance of more than just actions are looked at, but character, morals, ethics, and most of all, emotional security on the violators part. In essence, "You are not making me feel good, emotionally". It is this point which can drive or stop a relationship in its tracks.

People, like all things, follow set patterns. Some are obvious. Others are very subtle. Yet as subtle as they may be, the things which we did not see (although they were there all along), rises to the surface and a sense of dealing comes into fruition. Compromise and acceptance are the ground rules for couples. In either case, each person must continue to balance the others needs. (Needs being only those things that are a necessity that is opposite "wants", those things desired). When needs are confused with wants, havoc in the relationship begins. How does one cope with this? Understanding that experiences are not new but are the physical makeup or totality of that person, and to change what is natural in that individual is an insurmountable task. Each time you try to change what is, by the very nature, a person's being, more tension, more stress, and more feelings of helplessness and sadness arises. At this point, you are not happy due to your lack of complete transformation and therefore re-programming the other fails. Your disappointment, the inability to change the innateness within your mate and thus the questions of self-change becomes the next issue. And since no one openly admits or wants to commit to self-change, a stalemate is made. In other words, the foundation is laid for an ending. The relationship must and will end.

So can couples just end their relationship amicably? You go your way and I go mine? It just might not be that easy. What if the other is still deeply involved? What if the person finds that the feelings you are having does not equal their own? In other words, they are still in love with you or you them. Separation then is not an easy thing to end abruptly. Sometimes there are other matters involved such as joint bank accounts, cars, apartments, homes, job and career investments, benefits and even children. What is a person to do?

To begin, you must understand what type of relationship you are in. There are many levels and degrees to relationships but to sum up the three most basic reasons why couples part are as followed:

Symbiotic relationships, or when one person lives and sets themselves up to live for the other, the bond is more psychological. The break up will strike up a psychological resonate which could keep a stressful relationship going when it should not be. The fear of a departure from their significant other can cause not only emotional damage, but also physical damage to person and property. A sense of vengeance and possible retaliation may and most often will occur.

Co-dependent relationships, there may be a sense of love and affection but the driving force is financial only in commitment. In these relationships, it may take the form of the following 1. The relationship is tied intrinsically to share finances. 2. The person (s) are committed to the other by assumed and actual personal investment (i.e. children, business, property), and 3. The relationship takes on a passive co-existence (separation) and often defines itself as an "Open Relationship".

Depreciated relationships, which begin as a good and vital union, soon begins to diminish over a period of time. Often ending in differences in personalities, outside commitments, or other unforeseen issues not related to the couples’ relationship to each other (i.e. moral or ethical conflicts, family, past physical or social issues, psychological trauma, health, financial loss). Often the parting is a result of unfulfilled needs and lack of a healthy evolution within the relationship. Often, these relationships end in mutual understandings or respectful practices of interpersonal relationships or friends.

Weighing the Risks and Making the Separation Work

The relationships with the most to loose when Separation becomes an issue are Symbiotic and Co-Dependent. Within each there is the potentiality of both physical and psychological damage. To think about relationships as healthy or unhealthy is a beginning for healing, but the actions taken to do so may be more traumatic and that the emotional anguish to do so could stifle its ending. Some steps are easier than others but for the most part, steps taken in the right direction will always lead you into a better state of mind/being.

The methods which people become intimate and break up are not always the same. Nor is it always as easy as it sounds. Some steps can be taken immediately. Others take time. Sometimes days, sometimes months and years before the relationship is finally over and closure is made. In Symbiotic relationships, the separations can be more stressful. Much like the saying, "caught between a thin line between love and hate", the move toward separation can lead to a very violent ending. You see examples of this in the media; reports in domestic violent cases, film, News and television where the persons involved become violent to a point where major hospitalization or even deaths have occurred. Suicide attempts and mediation (family, friends, law enforcement, neighbors), often are seen and sought out when these break ups occur. One way of preventing this is to begin to work the individual into a sense of independent.

Within the psyche of the Symbiot, the key to their existence is to live for and through their mate. Often, within the Symbiotic existence is weak self-esteem and a vacillation of self-conviction. That energy or lack-there-of is directed towards their companion and re-directed back. Acknowledgement of the fact that the relationship is imbalance is important when understanding how to end it. The relationship may have been ideal, even fun, but as relationships grow, they also change/evolve so as the relationship continues in a forward direction, the symbiot's needs becomes more intense/deeply dependent and the relationship becomes draining (socially, physically, emotionally and spiritually) on the provider. If not taken seriously, the person's very life's energy is drawn out and a deep depression occurs. Mediation and therapy is a good way to communicate this but it has to be done without malice. Again, key issues to keep in mind, re-direct the energy, and communicate, mediation, and balance. If this is not done properly, prepare yourself for a hating for love/loving to hate roller coaster ride.

Co-dependent relationships are material and opportunistic in nature. When advising people who plan on leaving this type of relationship, "Prepare to count your loses". This means that you will not end the relationship with everything you brought into it and will not be able to split everything down the middle. In essence, it’s the closest thing to "War of the Roses" as you can get without a marriage certificate. Although on some levels, the relationship is like a Symbiotic one, the main difference is that each person is seen as an individual capable of great things but occasionally needing the resources of the other on some level. Be it financial, social, physical, or spiritual. The end result is that each person receives something in exchange.

In Co-dependent relationships, the idea that two people will live happily-ever-after colors the reality of the relationship. Often times these relationships are rushed into and a sense of shared responsibility is at the foreground of their interactions (i.e. rent, travel, work, entertainment, catering and pets etc.) Also, in Co-dependent relationships, the initial beginnings may be that of personal gain but due to circumstances, turn into one that limits the mobility and fruition of what was assumed and then takes on a sense of complacency which only keeps the relationship going out of convenience. Often you hear that people are together because they know, "no one else is better", or the person will not leave knowing that "no one else will take shit like the one you are with". These are internal issues and beliefs, which places couples in Co-dependent dilemmas.

So how do you approach a relationship like this? First, know yourself. Communication and honesty is the key. No one does not want to be manipulated nor do they want to be used. Once the reality settles in that "people are not who they really are" and the things said, done, felt, and believed are "untrue", then you will harbor your need to protect, defend, and even acquire in order to capture what is intrinsically you and yours. The need to hold together a sense of who you are, based upon who you thought you were, will ultimately kick in and lines will be drawn. Misconceptions, falsities and fantasies become paramount in Co-dependent couples' lives and only those things that are based in reality (material items) become the equalizer. When joint bank accounts, homes, mortgage and leases, cars, businesses, children, loans, debts, and investments come into play, the holding of hostage those items either due to the other or in shared interests are at hand, bitterness and violence can and will occur. Which is why it is usually suggested that individuals should, " Count your loses" and let it go. In doing so, the significant other has no claim over you or your emotions and their need for revenge becomes mood for the things that were assumed the most painful or important to you now no longer matter. All aspects of the relationship becomes a moot point and the relationship or the connectivity to each other is suddenly and completely severed. Then and only then can the real business of departure and closure occur.

In the case of manipulation, it is the provider or initiator within the Co-dependent relationship (initiator meaning the person who is the main provider within the relationship), that may feel the most abused within the relationship. Depending to the maturity, the moral and or spiritual foundation of the parties involved, will determine how easily/quickly the separation will occur.

Third Party Involvement and the Knowing of What You Want

In all separations, third party involvement may be necessary and is encouraged. Not as an active participant, but as mediator and or support. Friends, if aware, can be brought into the middle of conflicts and social situation as mediator of situations that can in effect escalate into tension but if that third party person is of neutral character, the wisdom of truth can reach the ear of those that may not listen to their significant other.

Councilor, police officers, doctors, church representatives, neighbors and family are often people brought into intense full separations. But this does not have to happen if rules are discussed and agreed upon. In either case, support should be sought out when the actual Separation occurs to protect both parties’ interests. In the case of legal issues, a witness should be present by both parties and decided upon by the opposite's mate. This means that the friend (s) of the mate can feel comfortable with the end result. If the separation is one which is not amicable, then communication is recommended between the chosen third party representatives. Personal property, finances, and or the completion of commitments should be handled through third parties. When it comes to property and possessions, remember the rule, "Count your loses". This is why all possessions should be negotiated and agreed upon in advance. If the tensions for gathering those possessions are more than a person is willing to loose, legal matters can always be instituted. But if you can't accept to live without certain possessions, think in terms of your Peace of Mind and the limited amount of material items and move towards your third party support system.

Peace of Mind Publishings Inc. ©1999 Shazza Nakim and holds All Rights Reserved 2008

THE WILLIAMS EFFECTS

Over the past few days I watched the longest playing political sitcom nearing the end of its second season. Why do I say this? Well May and June is when all the other Television Shows end their seasons and the way the Democrats are playing out their scripts, the Season Finale should end pretty much around the same time LOST leaves the American people in the same state. Some time around September or October when the NEW SEASON re-airs, the Cliffhanger that is “WHO WILL BE THE DEMOCRATIC NOMINEE will be the new storyline that the American people will follow, with new characters (since Romney, Guliani, Bill Clinton, Rev. Jeremiah Wright, Anne Colter and if we are lucky Rush Limbaugh will be written out like poorly written Soap Opera sub-plots) and NEW players will surface to bring about new Dramas and Laughs to boost the ratings. So until then we will watch a Summer of Sports and that sport of choice for me will be TENNIS.

As a youth, my parents encouraged me to participate in sports. I played some of every MASCULINE DRIVEN sports; Football, Basketball, Baseball, Wrestling, Volleyball, Swimming, Track and Field and for a short time Tennis. Tennis didn’t stick but for that short period of time, I learned one thing, I didn’t like playing the sport but loved watching it. Years later I chose the sport I liked most and excelled at it well into and after my college years. As the years continued, I learned by working in youth sports, to enjoy watching kids try and find themselves through their experiences in sports. In the 1990’s I had a few youth players enter into an Annual Summer Youth competition where our elite Tennis players were up against a group of players from California. I was to soon learn that our BEST PLAYERS got WALKED ALL UP THEIR BACKS AND NECKS WITH COMPTON HEELS by two little girls with the last name’s of WILLIAMS. That was the first time I witnessed the talents of Serena and Venus Williams.

The best part about my time working with youth and sports is that many on the Premium Players then that survived their Inner City circumstances, are now some of the most visible leaders in their field and seeing the Williams Sisters grow into World Recognizable Status makes a person proud.

So when Venus came of age, the Tennis World couldn’t wait. Being unorthodox in her training and experience she started out shaky and so did her Critics. There wasn’t a kind word at all about her abilities. The comments that came with Venus Williams’ arrival to the Sport of tennis were Racist (especially since the Tennis Association WAS and elitist Sport to begin with). I followed the media; I collected and taped everything Venus Williams. I even had a storage boxes and file cabinets of articles, newspapers and magazines of everything written which in the late 90’s was pretty much all anti-WILLIAMS which detailed her inability to WIN the big ones. Then Serena came along and that only heightened the negative press. For a time I followed USA Today’s forum on Women’s Tennis and in my experience, the International Community had nothing but NEGATIVE comments as well. I mean they were NASTY. For every one posting, there were 25 NASTY comments with only HIGH PRAISE for people like Lindsay Davenport, Martina Hingis, Jennifer Capriati and Anna Kournikova. To the World and America, those Women were the darlings and future of TENNIS. To their surprise and America’s, THE WILLIAMS in a short period of time crushed and forced that same NEGATIVE World to Recognize that they were in Tennis to win it, and Venus and Serena Williams WON IT ALL for several years straight.

So once the two sisters got into their stride, there was A CHANGE in the whole game of tennis. People began to notice the SPORT. Sponsors wanted to be apart of the game, fashion, soft drink companies, cosmetics, McDonalds and Hollywood. Then there were the MILLIONS of dollars that came rushing in like the rains of NOAH. The Tennis Association embraced these "two little ashy kneed, Ghetto playing, Compton plastic bead wearing, Amazon darlings of the TENNIS WORLD". The Naysayers had to eat crow and apologized or grudgingly learned to accept the fact that DIFFERENT wasn’t DEFICIENT and these girls were SERIOUS and could PLAY. There style of play so GREAT that it lifted the level of PLAY across the board on both the Women’s and the Men’s side of the game. This all may be HISTORY to some but it isn’t where I want to go with this story, what I want to do is concentrate on the RELATIONSHIP of the Sisters themselves.

By 1999 America now had two viable Champions that they could stand behind to represent the very best that a country had to offer, “even if they were BLACK”. Their consistency took the country into a ZONE that it could not wake up from. No matter what you though about the Sisters, the FATHER or the family background, Tennis, America, Whites and Blacks knew they had champions, even when they HAD to play each other. And there developed a slight problem. The Sisters were so GOOD that the only people capable of beating them were themselves. As such, AMERICA and the TENNIS WORLD had to decide whom they liked BEST.

SOUNDS FAMILIAR??

Last Tuesday I wanted to make this my Blog topic of the day but my act of Civil Disobedience delayed it. The Political Battles of Hillary Clinton and Barak Obama continued with a 1 to 1 win, Hillary winning Indiana and Obama taking North Carolina. Surprise or no surprise, each won the states they were suppose to win. As they say, a win is a win. Much like tennis, if you take the way the Williams Sisters play, you know from the beginning, they were going to MOP the floor with the chicks on the field and then up the playing once they got to the higher tier players. We knew that once the higher tier players were put away, in the finals you had Venus on one side and Serena on the other. Once that happened AMERICA HAD TO DECIDE. It wasn’t as simple as, “Oh I am just happy that they both made it to the finals because they will both be winners.” NO DAMN IT! Someone has to win and someone had to loose.

The Williams came from the same PARTY, my bad, the same FAMILY. Both are strong players, same talents, same background, the same opportunities but once one looks deeper, there is that one thing that makes a person PULL for one sister over the other. For me, Venus is my choice. She was the first to emerge, the oldest, the more controlled, her goals were loftier, her talents mostly from hard work and dedication and not natural ability unlike Serena, who is a NATURAL TENNIS PLAYER and even by her family’s acknowledgement, is the BETTER PLAYER. You see, I am an Underdog lover and Venus Williams is the Underdog when comparing the two.

Hillary Clinton and Barak Obama, right now are a product of THE WILLIAMS EFFECT. The two are so evenly matched and loved that now the two are meeting at Center Court for the Finals of the GRAND SLAM and America is forced to take a side. Even though in the end, the PEOPLE will be satisfied with the Winner, both will benefit in the end. You might ask how? Lets take a look at political benefits of these two if either accepts the Second Place trophy.

Hillary Clinton is the consummate politician. There is no one on the Political landscape, media, or grassroots can say that Hillary Clinton don't know Politics and the tools to become a good one. You don’t become a leading Presidential candidate on a whim nor do you become a person that is a catalyst in a Political movement that can and has ignited a Nation and a World to pay attention to every word and step you take unless you have the ability to command that attention and or respect. In a short time being active in politics and the history being politically behind and in the forefront as an established influence, as Senator of the United States she stands at the front of the Class as the WOMAN that holds more that 46% of the Democratic Party behind her as most favorite Politician. A Democratic Politician that has left a footprint in all 50 States; good or bad. A Democratic Politician that has played torchbearer in every other Senator’s and House Representative’s backyard. She has carved out a successful Physical presence as well as Political influence that can carry for several years and across several generations. So what if Senator Hillary Clinton looses the nomination for President, She goes back to Congress as the MOST INFLUENTIAL POLITICIAN on the Hill because she has done something that Ted Kennedy, John McCain, John Kerry, Joe Lieberman and a minor few has not been able to do, and that is to ignite the interest of Millions to Vote. Millions more than her counterparts were unable to do. Regardless of her “married name”, Hillary Clinton still had to do the work, and WORK she is and had done. Like a Williams Sister, they earned every POINT and not one was given freely.

In playing on the courts (still using the tennis references), Hillary Clinton knows the angles to play. She sees the lines, the weakness, the good calls and the potential bad calls, but like the WILLIAMS SISTERS, when in the beginning of their playing careers, the crowds were against them. Hillary’s level of Political play to NOT give in or give up, to come back from behind and to TALK THE TALK of the Working Poor and Blue Collar and the Small Towns will and have given her the Aces to play when reaching across the aisles and proposing Bills that benefit those 46% that backed her during her run for President. For some, that might sound like a REACHING PROBABILITY but it isn’t a stretch, especially since the new politics of today has re-written the book on what is Normal Politics.

Like THE WILLIAMS EFFECT, when each Sister Opens Up A Can of WHOMP-ASS on the field and end up playing each other in the finals of the Grand Slam, they sometimes clean-up playing in DOUBLES. When that happens, the Sisters take home the Jackpots of First and Second Prize and then the First Prize in the doubles. Separately the SISTERS improve their status and rankings as number 1 and number 2, their money and influence also rises, and depending on when they peak, the two can and DID capture GOLD METALS during Olympic Years. If Hillary is Venus Williams than Barak Obama is Serena with a No Holds Barred attitude and soon he will garner a SERENA SLAM and capture the love of those on the other side of the Sister Love. Do they collect the Singles or do they consider the Doubles as well? Either way, it is a WIN WIN situation because it’s THE WILLIAMS EFFECT.

Together the Sisters are in love with each other. Of course they have their moments (as all sisters do, and I know because I have four of them) but when it come down to WORK, they snap to it really quick. Hillary Clinton is playing her game until she looses and right now, she has not loss. Calling it, she is in the Third set, and in tiebreakers where SHE and Obama are going back and forth, point for point. Someone has to loose and someone has to win, and in the end, one of the Sisters will reach across the net, shake hands, hug, laugh and giggle and then divide the spoils between the two because in the end, the Prize stays within the family. What happens after the GRAND SLAM depends on the Sisters and there are more Slams, more Players to PUT IN THEIR PLACE, more Games and more challengers to watch out for. You see, sometimes going for the BIG PRIZE, you become limited in what you can really do unless you have backing. Considering the Second Prize can be either going back to the Senate with PREZ CRED or Vice President with Back Up Cred. And this is why I look at Obama because how he WINS will determine how he might loose.

In the Past, the media has always looked for a way to get in between the Williams Sister’s relationship. Even at their dominance in the sport, the players, the Tennis Association, the media has tried to create drama, animosity and psychological difference between the two but that BLOOD mixed with their SPIRIT was the shield that rejected all attempts. If anything, it brought them closer. Not a word or a motion, a gesture or a look gave any evidence that their LOVE for family was in doubt. THE WILLIAMS EFFECT not only demonstrate the proper way to handle the stress of being a leader, but it taught lesson of Grace and Dignity. Obama and Hillary in the end has shown this contrary to the MEDIA’S reporting otherwise.

For Obama loosing the nomination (which at this writing doesn’t seem to be the case), he sits upon the same perch that Hillary would sits upon if roles were reversed. His popularity far outweighs any of the most Senior of Statesmen on Capitol Hill. He also has a fair number of Delegates and Super Delegate behind him with over 53% of American Democrats tugging on his sweaty towel. That type of influence can garner a lot of favors and support. Think about this for a minute, Obama has an open invitation into a Youth Momovement that can guarantee a political base for the next 15 to 20 years. Like the Bill Clinton Generation of the early 1990’s, you can ride this wave just like that crowds at the US Open and Wimbledon throughout the stadium. All it takes is one person to move the crowd and everyone else follows smiling and laughing because they too were in the mix, moving the energy in the direction of the masses.

So, as a Senator, whenever Obama goes before the Congress, no matter what side of the aisle you are on, you have to acknowledge that he has the ability to swing supporters from any and all 50 States because like Hillary Clinton, he has played in all courts and surfaces as well due to his success. Both have changed the nature of the Game; the Political Game. Like THE WILLIAMS EFFECT, all the other players are either breaking or broke down due to the stress of playing a Williams Style Game (Jennifer Capriati, Martina Hingis, Monica Seles, Mary Pierce) or they had to step up their Game (Lindsay Davenport, Kim Clijsters, Amelie Mauresmo, Justine Henin-Hardenne, Maria Sharapova). To relate it to the Political field just substitute any of the prior names with people like Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, Fred Thompson, Joseph Biden, Chris Dodd, or a John Edwards. Not one of them could, did or will command the type of popularity that a Hillary Clinton or Barak Obama currently command or ever will. Much like THE WILLIAMS EFFECT, Hillary Clinton and Barak Obama have changed the toporgraphy of American Politics; the old tricks and assumptions no longer work. The CHANGE is so evident that even the REPUBLICANS has been effected in its methodology, message, and appeal within its own Party. The Clinton Campaign's initial messages and images that normally worked during National Elections had to be revisited and re-tooled for a newer strategies which had to appeal to "real people". It was because of this quick-to-change that Hillary Clinton was able to achieve a "stay in it to win it" posture. No different than the sport of tennis when a Champion starts out down to then battle back for the win (typical of a Williams sister). It was in her (Clinton) ability to do it quickly and decisively that separated from the rest of the field.

So here we are, at the Finals and the Serena vs. Venus/Hillary vs. Obama Grand Slam which is set for Prime Time, the first time ever. There are millions of viewers watching just to see what the excitement is all about. These two TITANS will be grunting and serving at speeds and power that will defy any one familiar or unfamiliar with the SPORT. If I recall correctly, the first time was a bit ANTI-CLIMATIC. Serena Won In Two Sets and for the Venus fans, we were disappointed. We wanted more and got less but even though she didn’t win over her Kid Sister something happened, WE GOT OVER IT because they were still CHAMPIONS and no one was even close to their CLASS OF SPORTSMANSHIP. America or at least the National Tennis Associations has to or had acknowledge that the Williams Sisters has changed the nature of the sport for a New Generation. Their presence had excited tennis and non-tennis players alike, more tennis clinics and instructors are finding work and purpose, tennis attendance has increased exponentially (US Open tickets jumped from an average of $30 to over $150 in a single year with the SISTERS in play, more Black and Brown folk took to the sport and over all the HATERS (John McEnroe, Martina Navratilova and Chris Evert; the Tennis Pundits of the Sport) have all fallen in-line to go with the momentum of the PEOPLE and watch some good A$$ TENNIS .Same here. We are living in a world where we are experiencing some GOOD ASS POLITICS.

THE BODY AMERICA

“Thank you for taking the time to talk with me last week. Unfortunately, we decided to go in a different direction for this position. I was very impressed with your skill set and attitude, but I believe that the position is far below your experience level. Best of luck in your search.

Regards,

XXXX”

This was the end result of an interview for a Contract to set up a New Business. Without going into the "private" details and Name Dropping of the company, the gentleman who contacted me looking for someone to assist him in this opportunity to Start-Up this financial group, the type of company that I have extensive experience and contacts in doing. The gentleman sat quietly on the phone while I detailed my experience and commitment for not only doing the Right thing but my unique ability to be Forward Thinking and Pro-Active for making sure that any costly issues are addressed before it happens and still keep COSTS under budget. Assuring that when it comes to my experience and background I have references that lists a whos who in the the Industry; Financial, Government, Community and past clients of HIGH REGARDS of my work. I then ended the Interview with the gentleman saying, “I will call you next week and we will talk some more”. One week later, I had to call him and left a Voice Mail. The next day, I get an e-mailed, the aforementioned.

Now this might not be a big deal for most people, for some, it would be part of the reality of a broken economy in America but for me, it is different. As a person who can handle rejection, (as a Black Man in the United States, its pretty much coded in our DNA) I get responses like this ALL THE TIME. I have lost count on the number of times when a person's perception of me changes from phone Interview or Paper to meeting in Person. Once seen by people for interviews and they see the nature of my Being and the nature of my background and professionalism, due it tone and tenor, the interest changes. I have been told, “You might come off TOO stiff or TOO serious and that might bother some people”. I use to take that into consideration when I’d get comments back from interviewers such as, “What we are looking for are people who will FIT into what we have.” I would passively let that wash over me when I began to ask, “Well what do you mean by FIT? or “Explain to me what your group is looking for so I can get an understanding about what your Group is like and the piece you are looking for me to FIT into?” Doing that, I was seen as being "Aggressive" and "Confrontational" when simply I was asking to "Define" what my lack of FIT was to them. If I entered into the Interview smiling and bubbly, I appeared "Phony" and "Untrustworthy". So I quickly went back to what I know best, Being Me, Being Honest, Being True, Being Black since I can't be anything else but.

I put emphasis on the last statement not because of some false sense of RACIAL pride or blind faith in evidence not seen, I do it because I have the knowledge and understanding of who I am and of my place in America. I also realize that America is at its temper tantrum stage in development and is fighting to understand the CHANGES within its BODY. This is a simple concept to follow but I know many people, specifically American WHITE folk, won’t get it. In conversation and in speaking engagements I describe where I am and how people like myself fit into what I call , "THE BODY AMERICA".

Imagine if you came from another planet and you wanted to know what the make up of the United States consisted of. After you give a “brief"" History of the United States, its economics, its social and religious growth, history and its politics, you then would be asked about its PEOPLE. I would then step forward and break it down like this;

"If you want to know what is the Body America, break Her down in three parts, her Soul, her Spirit and her Mind. America’s Spirit is her Native American People. Where they are, how they subsist and ultimately their social conditions because as People, they are tied to their LAND thus they become the essence of America’s Soul. To kill or diminish Her Soul; you open the door to a Darkness that is capable of doing any and EVERYTHING. Even to Herself.

Her Spirit comes from her Black People. Its creativity, its intuitivism, Her mood and optimism, its facility to come back from atrocity and depravity and still have LOVE for its ideals, they are the heart and RESPECT and interest in the WHOLE Body, Her Black People call for salvation by reminding Her of the void developed by Her PAST deeds and maintains the promise to NOT turn away from it. Her Black People live to Love Her even when she does not always LOVE back.

America’s Mind is Her White People, the Majority, the Power, the Shakers, the Movers, the Managers, the Actors but unfortunately not too bright as Her Thinker; more so She is a Runner and prides Herself as the one which only "REACTS". As the reactor, She often does not look back upon all Her actions and deeds or skips over the DETAILS. Seen only as sitting at the head of the Boardroom, The Mind’s only responsibility is to be “The Decider”, deciding on matters that may feed its Body but rarely, if ever, it’s Soul. "

Now this may seem like HATE LANGUAGE or RACIST, but then again if you enter into this breakdown with a closed mind or have MADE UP YOUR MIND in advanced and are not looking to see beyond a particular perspective prior to reading this, then it is. BUT if you take a moment to hear me out, you will see that I am very PATRIOTIC and a person of Spirit.

Whenever Black and Brown folk bring up the fact that WHITES are the majority in the United States, the hairs on White folk’s necks rise up in anticipation for personal or a racial attack but it is FACT. As the Majority, it is rare if ever Minority issues are considered. Being such as it is, the opportunities of the Majority are shared by all; being Shakers, Movers, Managers and the one’s that do the THINKING – One Thought, One Mind, only One Perception for One Reality. As rule, this has been the very FOUNDATION of the Body America.

Now look at Her today, Native Americans are non-existent in the fabric of America. If a person were to walk the streets without a SOUL, what would you experience? Black Americans are beaten down and beaten back and even ATTACKED for its Spirit, now imagine someone walking down the street without any Spirit? Now imagine a person walking down the street without pause or hesitation randomly doing without purpose or constantly reacting without thinking? Now take all of the above and combined them into one BODY and what would you have? That BODY would be Deaf, Dumb, Depressed, Angry and Dangerous to its SELF and others. This is the Body America, which too often is the acceptable vision and aspiration for its people.

When the Mind does not listen to the Body, there is a disconnect that places the totality of its existence in a state of Slow Burn. This means that the BODY, although shining brightly, its shine shrink and dwindle into nothing. That individual spark that brought about the birth of Democracy with all its freedoms in individuality, religion, law and expression, with the Mind’s ignoring of the Soul and Spirit, this Nation has unfortunately evolved into a Majoritarian Authority, turning what was simple into a Peoples’ Government sacrificed on the Alter of Democracy. More so, the Imperial Bubble this Nation exists in is simply that of a room full of like minded Bodies that collectively reacts to the gun without understanding that if the “heart” cannot handle the drive and the “spirit” isn’t willing, the grand strategy and goal to get to the finish line will ultimately fall short and the RACE to be number ONE will be nothing more than tales of nostalgia told to grandchildren who are more interested in Today than Yesterday.

It is accepted that the “soul’ is the foundation for LIFE and the “spirit” the FIRE that drives the body. Both are so fixed in their connection to each other that when one tries to break the two, separate the two, divide it from the fine line that bonds them together, you plan to create a void, a hole that must be filled. Too often what the Mind uses as filler for the gap created often are artificial elements that infect and grow into a cancer. Like cancers, they are very insidious as it breaks down the natural order of the BODY. Cancer slows down and ages the body, the Body is broken down and it quickly burns itself out, like a slow burning candle. A Mind that is on the run, a Body that only “reacts” and limits its ability to see and or seek the aid needed to heal will eventual stop and die. And yet we also know that in turning to one’s SPIRIT, we can heal Bodily illnesses by drawing on its SOUL. Unfortunately the Body America never looks back or even considers the details even when the solution is natural.

“Unfortunately, we decided to go in a different direction for this position.”

What direction is that? Backwards? Side ways? Down? It can’t be forwards because you had found someone that has all of the core elements you were looking for and THEN SOME. That is ‘if” you are truly looking for someone to assist you in STARING up your company for forward momentum.

“ I was very impressed with your skill set and attitude, but I believe that the position is far below your experience level.”

Impressed so much that you are willing to NOT bring in a talented and or solid professional into the fold to create success and presences in the field you desperately need help in. And then there is the “far below your experience level”, which by it’s sentence structure is an insult. One does not understand that when you use this PHRASE you in essence say, “I look at YOU, I ignore YOU, I laugh at YOU, I fight YOU, and then I WIN over you.”

It is in this Mind, this practice, the REACTION of the Body America, a Nation misses out on the Spirit and the Soul of America and adds further to diminish it. When you look at other societies, they see the examples in America’s Soul and they see America’s Spirit and they make NOTE not to make the same mistakes in ignoring it. If anything, they embrace and invite it into their social make up. This is the primary reason why the International Position of America to LEAD the World is slipping on all levels. We ask why Nations such as China, India, Brazil, London, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Switzerland, Germany even Canada have crept up behind and tapped the Body America on the shoulder and said “ Either Lead, Follow or Get Out of The Way.”

Like all things included in Liberation Theology, we cannot expect an individual, a group, a Peoples or a Nation to grow unless you can accept that like nature, it has to evolve, it has to CHANGE. America is now moving into the adolescence of it existence on the Planet. It can no longer afford to live like a Child Nation in a World of Adults and Elders. We all have a purpose in life, some are here to Do great things, some to Be great things, and still others are here to act as "Guides and Guardians". When a Nation in its REACTION cannot turn just enough to realize that it has forgotten its Guides and Guardians, you will soon find that every Person or as I’d like to say, “Every Cell” in the Body America will be told:

“Unfortunately, we decided to go in a different direction for this position.”

Signed,
THE WORLD

OBAMA'S BLACK FACE MOMENT

I am going to keep this entry short, and you all know I am not short for words about serious ISSUE to concern ME but this one I had just put out there for Blogger Opinion.

I was mid-way with a New Blog posting with my take on Rev. Jeremiah Wrights speech during the past weekend's NAACP affair and his Press Questioning and Answer Session when I saw on television the HOT OFF THE PRESS AND BREAKING NEWS that Barak Obama condemns his Pastor. He is quoted as suggesting that Rev. Wright’s “performance” was an OUTRAGE and his "comments were not only divisive and destructive”.

Was he talking about Rev. Jeremiah Wright or Flava Flav?

"I’m outraged by the comments that were made and saddened over the spectacle that we saw yesterday." I find these comments appalling. It contradicts everything that I’m about and who I am. They offend me, they rightly offend all Americans and they should be denounced. That’s what I am doing very clearly and unequivocally here today." – Barak Obama

I know we are talking about Obama's denouncing of his pastor as all Politics but in rejecting Rev. Wright, not only does he reject his own Spiritual Compass, but the Black Church, Black History and a larger body of Black folk and their connection to America through the Church and him.

“In the past, we were taught to see others who are different as somehow being deficient. Christians saw Jews as being deficient. Catholics saw Protestants as being deficient. Presbyterians saw Pentecostals as being deficient.

Folks who like to holler in worship saw folk who like to be quiet as deficient. And vice versa. Whites saw black as being deficient. It was none other than Rudyard Kipling who saw the "White Man's Burden" as a mandate to lift brown, black, yellow people up to the level of white people as if whites were the norm and black, brown and yellow people were abnormal subspecies on a lower level or deficient.” - Rev Jeremiah Wright

Barak Obama is an American so it's hard for me to accept and or see why he has to continue to prove to be American to everyone else when he only has to just BE. The one issue I have always had with those following Obama and love him as their candidate is that the see him as ALL THINGS TO ALL PEOPLE. The one thing about those that are ALL THINGS is that they often fail ALL THE TIME TO ALL PEOPLE. Obama is a MAN and like Men he is flawed which is why he has FAITH and in his FAITH, he worships DIFFERENTLY. And in the words of Rev. Wright, Different isn't Deficient.

I don't feel sorry for Barak Obama in regards to his rejection to Rev. Jeremiah Wright, I feel "sadden" for for HIM.

When you are diminished by YOUR Nation, pressured, manipulated away from your Spiritual Compass, that one person also being your "father figure", a Nation that has you denounce your Spiritual Leader, a leader that has connected you to your CHURCH and your Spiritual FAMILY and have you reject this before the WORLD, if you are willingly or even reluctantly, IN MY OPINION it shows a weakness in Character for one's FAITH. One should not have sympathy from AMERICA (the very Nation whom invented the concept of Freedom of Speech, Expression, and Religion) or Black Christians on this subject because both did not bother to question and allowed this treatment to fall upon a citizen, let alone Barak Obama. And to chock this up to those that are Christians and proudly speak within their “Faith” say, "He had to say this for "Political Reasons", speaks volumes to their hypocrisy comparing them to those who do not like the Clinton's and express that they "will do anything to win". This Black Face Moment now becomes Obama's “Anything To Win" moment”.

I can't see how a MAN, guided by his Faith can dismiss his beliefs for MAN'S LAW unless his Faith was a means to an Opportunity. For those that do not know, Trinity is a VERY powerful and influential CHURCH in Chicago and in the Midwest just as Ebenezer is in the South and Abyssinian is in the North. When you become a member of these Churches you are a standing member in a LONG STANDING HISTORY of Social, Political and Economic Change in America. To reject that, you do more than distancing, you begin to open eyes, ears and hearts to a HUGE SUPPORT NETWORK.

Rev. Wright stated that he is a Man of Faith and that his service is to that of GOD where as Obama is a Politician who must speak to the people and has to say whatever it takes to be a Politician.

I agree with Rev. Wright on this point, and thus Obama's dilemma for Being All Things To All People is careening into a Brick Wall. The thing about Being All Things to All People is that you eventual FAIL ALL PEOPLE IN ALL THINGS.

Obama should have stayed on message. HE HAD ADDRESS TO AMERICA HIS VIEWS AND HIS PURPOSE. He has published Books, did Interviews, made Speeches, has had 21 Debates, presented his Tax Records, presented his DNA and Family Tree so now he has to GET RID OF HIS MORAL COMPASS in order to walk straight? BULLSHYT!!!

"He continues his commentary about Rev. Jeremiah Wright: "As I see it, if a strong, controversial black man in America is not kissing the asses of cynics and aggressively-patriotic white America or submissively acquiescing himself as 'Toby' like Kunta Kinte in Roots, he is ostracized and electronically lynched. It is unfortunate that when sad truths are revealed about America - despite all of the good she has done in the world – people cannot see the truth because they are ridiculously and blindly patriotic. They are in deep denial. In my opinion, Reverend Wright has been vilified and 'caricatured' because he has spoken the truth about America not being utopia. It’s time for Americans to take the blinders off." -- Shay Posted on Booker Raising 4/30/2008

THE POWER OF THE FEW OR THE ONE

I am an avid movie watcher. I like the art as much as I like a good song. It bugs people that here I am knee deep in to the Arts; written, performance, graphic, underground expressive and then on a turn will sit and watch PBS, The Discovery Channel, The History Channel and then talk about the intricacies of calculating the probability of Cosmic Strings in the Universe and Nuclear Clusters being attracted to Dark Matter in space. As an unpredictable Nerd, I can see how I could clear a room in one of my typical Schizophrenic Gemini Sybil Brain Farts but then again, I always made good company in my head anyway. It takes a unique mind and a lot of patience to understand and be around me much less, keep up in a conversation. So it is safe to say that when watching movies, I get the chance to rest my brain and just go with the flow. (even though while doing that I am dissecting the parts from beginning to end just to make sure all the elements of a good movie were in place. I can’t help it, I took a few film classes back in the day). This one film came to mind recently and I had this burning desire to Blog about it because as much as it is fantasy, its message reaches at the very foundation of human existence.

Recently there was a Lord of the Rings Marathon, which I watched. Anyone who has seen one of the three movies (Trilogy) knows that these films are not in the tradition of your 90-minute cinema. Besides the whole “epic” thing, what stands out through out the whole film is that there is a HUGE problem that is affecting everyone in the movie; EVIL, and that one thing that can prevent EVIL from winning, is by destroying a single ring. Thus the title, "Lord of the Rings". Well I won’t bore you with all the details but for the most part, what stood out is that throughout the Trilogy there was a Fellowship, a handful of “Warriors” who committed to help one individual, Frodo, to destroy the Ring of Power and defeat the raise of EVIL from conquering Man. A pretty simple premise don't you think?

As a teacher, the whole creating of the Hero and Adventure motif would be the obvious to concentrate on but I like the concept of the selected; the Fellowship, or as I would like to refer to as The Critical Mass needed to get the job Done.

Critical Mass, a theory taught in Sociology, Management and Political Science is a product of “group dynamics” and or “sociodynamics”. Critical Mass defined as the sociodynamic term describing the existence of sufficient or a minimum amount of people creating a momentum in a social system, which by its actions becomes a self-sustaining movement. Much of what Barak Obama's Campaign represents is an example of this.

I watched as this practices was exercised very early in life from my family’s involvement in the community and watching people gather and protest in the streets. It wouldn’t be until I became an adult that I truly understood its impact on a grander scale. Often in discussion groups and in my days at a teacher I would explain that the Civil Rights Movement of the 1950’s and 60’s was just that, an exercise in pockets of critical mass movements. Not all Black Americans were actively participating. In some cases, many were too afraid to take action and others were just too critical to be involved period. Regardless of the reason why people did not participate, a small number of bodies were only needed to begin “a movement” which was enough to shift a nation’s attention into the right direction.

When it comes to activism, those people NEW to the practice always make the mistake in thinking that one need hundreds of thousands of people to impact change when the reality is you only need ONE. In the film, “Lord of the Rings”, the character Frodo was told that there only needs to be One person who could save them all and if HE did not bear the burden, no one will. I mean, just think, you wake up in the morning and someone tells you that your Single Sacrifice MUST and WILL save the World? Kinda Jesus Like Don’t You Think?

So why my need to Blog about saving the World? It’s not about the saving of the World but how the pressures of being a single person doing positive things can be adversely affected by a Critical Mass of people. It is just as important to understand that just as a few people or ONE can do extraordinary things, the net opposite can break it down as well. Take the recent events with Tavis Smiley for example.

Pull back from THE BANQUET TABLE of the people because I know you are hungry, we really need to see the full bounty that is on display. The big picture is this, Tavis Smiley is a Doer in a World where people fit in three categories; those that Do, those that Don’t and those that Complain. He also is a good man with GOOD INTENTIONS. Now I have made note that people with good intentions do need to be watched, critiqued and held accountable when their intentions fall on the side of personal gain, abuse and or “evil” but in the case of Tavis Smiley, the Brother’s intentions are as transparent as a Glass of Arctic Water in Spring. The beauty of his Good intentions is that he is willing to be the ONE that will ask the questions that Black folk either do not think about or are afraid to ask due to this Nation’s unique political climate.

As a journalist and social analyst, Tavis Smiley has to ask the questions that will make people think, laugh, cry, become retrospective, introspective, create a pro-active consciousness and even make a person uncomfortable with accountability. His, like all good journalists, actions allow for TRUTH in character. In politics that is paramount. In American politics it is not only a must, at its core, character will be the glue that will determine the very nature of the US Super Power Status in the World. As a journalist, Tavis MUST walk as straight a line of non-bias practice as humanly possible for fear of being prejudiced towards the subject matter, showing favor and or doing an Oprah (catering to a specific audience or demographic). As a Black Man who has a non-negotiable COMMITMENT to Black People as well as having a proven commitment to the HISTORICAL EDUCATION OF AFRICAN PEOPLE IN DIASPORA AND THE AMERICAS, prior to the Obama phenomenon, Tavis Smiley was, without question, a dynamic individual. So as a fan, a political analyst, supporter, and a writer, I see Tavis Smiley as being one in a few who is truly dedicated to what he does and not loosing his way along the way within his own community YET when his own people turn on him for doing what he has been praised for doing for years, one has to wonder, "What if Frodo had kept that ring"?

No, serious I asked, What if Tavis did not do his job property and allowed certain People a pass on answering REAL questions or just fell in line with Corporately Run Journalism and read from the same TOP 10 Questions List of safe political questions and ignored the other questions, 11 through 50?

Fast-forward a few months in to the primaries and now we have a major violation committed by Tavis Smiley. Tavis’ crime against Humanity is he dared to do his job and asked or wanted to ask Political Questions 11 through 50 to Barak Obama. This, in our unique state of Politics is Taboo for Black folk in mass support of Obama. The temperament for doing this is somewhat a betrayal to RACE and looking even deeper, the Democratic Party, the Economy, the War, Immigration, Africa, Legal Issues, Prison Systems, Corporate Profiting, Labor, Universal Health Care, Education, Selling-Out to Hillary Clinton, Religion, Women, The Drug Trade, Gun Control, Trade and Exports, Political Fundraising, Terrorism and a whole host of American ills. What amazed me is that in the Black Community’s public ridicule of Tavis Smiley's attempt to ask or even criticize All the candidates (All meaning Obama would also be included in his critique) the very questions that each candidate had and has not answered to this very day. These are also the same unanswered questions that are frustrating the whole of America, Tavis included. So if one cannot ask the source, then asking around the source to get to the center is a necessary and professional process at getting to information and or the truth. When Tavis did this, he crossed into Taboo territory once again. So what happens when this occur? Black People complained and those complaints took on a movement to silence that “anti-Obama” hypocrite.

“I personally am SICK of Tavis Smiley, he claims to love Black people and I certainly think the (un-appointed) black spokesperson should be compensated for his work but he was beginning to pontificate his opinions as if his and only his opinion counted. I started to turn TJMS off when Tavis had his commentaries; he was preachy and full of self-importance. I say GOOD RIDDANCE Tavis.” – Dililia from Blog: BlackMenInAmerica

A movement developed in the form of phone calls, e-mails and Blog attacks on the very person that in Public and Private stated and displayed he has more LOVE for Obama than the Hate directed towards him personally. One day, Tavis Smiley is a product of the very best that the Black Community has to offer into the next where he had become the most Stuck-up, Arrogant, Self-Centered Opportunist to wear the mantle and badge of Sellout. Tavis’ Annual State of the Black Union once hailed as a positive event for Black representation and focusing of Black America towards a National Mission and Agenda, now is the Tavis Smiley Soapbox for Personal Grandeur. So the Tipping Point (also know as Critical Mass) of the movement was to limit Tavis Smiley’s exposure and speech.

“Tavis got hammered not because Obama supporters are crazed cultists operating in zombie mode, but because he insisted on trying to pull Obama's black card for trivial reasons, and TJMS listeners and many others called him on his crap.” – Political Session from Blog: Black Agenda Report 4. 16-22, 2008

"Barack Obama's campaign must come first. Hate mail is reprehensible, but Smiley's ego started most of it. If he really cares about the future for all races instead of his puffing ego, he'd shut up. Maybe he'd better go see Bill Clinton. Two blowhards in a state of denial." -- NoMugwump from the Blog: The Trail 2/16/2008

Although many people (knowingly or not) who participated in this addictive protest on Tavis’s journalistic style, now cheer in his radical bid to go into a self censoring from commercial radio where he spoke the most about the State of Black Liberal Politics. This Critical Mass of self-styled activist, feeling vindicated that Tavis Smiley has decided to leave Tom Joyner’s Nationally Syndicated Radio Talk Show. Actually what they did was become successful in maintaining the current status quo for keeping the REAL ISSUES off the table for any discussion from Black Americans as well as the Whole of America thus placing them deeper in limbo, possibly never to be asked of by Barak Obama, Hillary Clinton or John McCain. It is no accident that Tavis Smiley prefers PBS to Commercial media outlets where the pressures of Commercial Advertising Dollars cannot interfere with his honest reporting.

I wrote not too long before the New York Democratic primaries in relation to the Cultural Group Think Mentality towards each other and how there was a vicious line draw between Black Clinton and Obama supporters:

“Some people are Liberal-Conservatives (Hillary Clinton) and some are Democratic Socialist (Barak Obama). The differences are slight but it is in that difference which is enough to be divisive and pit one Democratic ideology against the other. This is what we see now between Obama and Clinton supporters, the differences are that slight enough to split a Party in half and the national vote. The truth is, Blacks on a whole are voting on Racial Lines and it makes me crazy that NO ONE WANTS TO OWN UP TO IT. There has yet to be a dialogue that brings to question IF Black folk voted for Obama because he is Black? Just the same, people are slowly allowing for the reality that Women are voting on Gender Lines and are truthfully saying as much.” -- Shazza Nakim from the Blog: Mirror On America 2/29/2008

Tavis, the professional that he is was bold enough to have this Dialogue with Black America but as the Critical Mass dictated, it was a conversation that was not going to happen. Either now or later, if ever. One could argue that the conversation was trivial in comparrison to the importance of what is at stake. True enough, but what about the other questions not asked; Political Questions 12 through 50? From the very beginning Tavis Smiley have stood by his principles, his responsibility and dedication as a journalist to get at the REAL ISSUES. In his defense, he has often had to distinguishing himself from Celebrity or Entertainer and the Tabloid Reporter from that of the serious Journalist. In parting from the Tom Joyner Show, Tavis was noted as saying the following, "My job is to ask the critical question, to raise these issues and keep these guys focused. There are some people who are disappointed that I'm not jumping up and down saying, 'Vote for Barack Obama.' That's not my role as a journalist. That's not what I do.


And there lies the difference between a Tavis Smiley and an Oprah Whinfrey, Steve Harvey, Tom Joyner or a Whoopie Goldberg on MX Radio. Tavis is a Journalist with a stated Journalistic Ethic and an established and clear line that cannot (should not) be crossed and an Oprah and Whoopie which are more Media Personalities than Journalist hosts shows dedicated to demographics and specific audiences. For either Oprah or Whoopie (whom have Publicly endorsed candidates), to ask bias questions, the reactions would be slight or non-existent. For Tavis, his credibility as a legitimate, non-bias and honest journalist would always be called into question. Once that happens, he might as well do Access Hollywood or go back to BET.

For now, Tavis Smiley is taking an active break and waiting for the fever to burn itself off. Once the Body that is the Black Community cools, Tavis will returrn to ask the one question he has asked from the start, "What if Obama doesn't get the Democratic nod for President or even looses the election? What now? Where does all the energy and inspiration go for Black America and the Greater Nation?" I have an idea that this is a Contingency Plan Tavis is not hoping for but as a journalist, is preparing for.