Saturday, April 19, 2008


So Inga Marchand is finally out of prison. It was almost 1 year ago she was ordered to go to Ryker’s Prison for probation violations. I mean all she had to do was stay under the radar and be like “normal people”. You figure at 28 years old (that was how old she was when she was sent to serve time) that one would have enough sense to enjoy freedom and a use enough Common Sense to behave. I mean as Thug Girls go, Inga Marchand’s claim to fame was beatin’ down little Asian Women at Nail Salons and throwing Blackberries and people. But she didn’t behave because somewhere in her mind, Inga Marchand thought she was Naomi Campbell. You see when too many people tell you that you ARE, “The Baddest Bitch”, when you’re NOT, you better have Naomi Campbell Money or at least Contacts.

In the end, The Judge said, “Naw, I’m the Baddest Bitch, now get your Monkey Ass in a jumpsuit and get locked up”. And that’s is just what happen. Inga Marchand was sentenced for 12 months at the Rose M. Singer facility at the New York prison since October of 2007.

So if you have no idea whom I am talking about by now, Inga Marchand is also known as the Notorious, Hardcore, Make No Mistake, Queen of the Mic, Battle Bitch Foxy Brown; the epitome of Rap Glamour and Hardcore Lyrics. Foxy Brown, just like lil’ Kim, were the future of Women in the Rap Game, what the media labeled as the "Gangsta Girl", what Real N_ ‘s wanted in a Woman. Well Ryker’s Prison wanted her more and decided to re-defined that image Big Time.

When Inga Foxy Brown” Marchand, entered lockdown in the tradition of all other Rappers as a “Rite of Street Cred”, Girl’s chest was pumped like Kong as she perp walked her ass into the clink. What Inga “Foxy Brown” Marchand didn’t know was that the “REAL” Bad Bitches were waiting for her. Now I am not one to disrespect Women by calling them the B-Word but to make a point and or describe the World that Inga “Foxy Brown” Marchand was working from and eventually into, we must call it the way the Players want it to be played. This is a story more about what IS real and what WAS fantasy.

Inga “Foxy Brown” Marchand gets into Ryker’s Prison thinking that her Foxy Brown persona would give her the Street Cred needed to be Queen Bee behind bars. What she didn’t know was that she was NO MARTHA STEWARD. Real Street Cred is having WEALTH ENOUGH to say (or in this case have a Lawyer say ) I want to be Upstate New York with my own WING, some groupie, making pastel quilts, floral curtains and planting flowers. Instead Inga “Foxy Brown” Marchand got the "First Year State Attorney Three Meals And A Cot" deal. Based upon her Bitching throughout her stay, it can be assumed that the Real Bad Bitches told her she had to skip the cot and “Grab Floor”.

Within days, Inga “Foxy Brown” Marchand was in an “altercation” with a fellow inmate, which required her to be placed in SOLITARY. We don’t know what the circumstances were but in talking to my connections within the system, the Women up in Ryker's don’t usually react as the Men do. There is no period where they “TEST THE BOOTY” or “LOYALTIES”. The Women’s Prisons tends to connect and bond more so than challenge and control UNLESS you enter with attitude. Trust me, if you do not have a grip on Anger Management, there will be someone to give you a Crash Course. A crash upside your head. Thank Goodness for Solitary Confinement.

Then we hear The Baddest Bitch stepping to The Judge to ask if she can be released early to get her ear fixed because of some infection. In reality it was a request to have a broken ear piece repaired. WHAT? You mean Thug Girl got some Forrest Gump Up In Her? “OH HELL NAW”, the judge told Inga “Foxy Brown” Marchand, “Get your HALF HEARING BLACK ASS BACK BEHIND BARS, I AIN’T PLAYIN WITH YOU!

Well The Judge didn’t say it like that but you know what I meant.

Then every other story you heard was Inga “Foxy Brown” Marchand pissing this one off, Inga “Foxy Brown” Marchand pissing that one off but in the end, FOXY got her act together because the word was out that she was soft. Word back on the Street was she calmed down too because The Judge didn’t care that she needed to be in a recording studio either. The reality of knowing that on the outside, the legal system wasn’t going to cut her any slack and on the inside, they had her number, it was best to WOMAN UP and recognized that by doing the time “RIGHT” you can get the FUQ out in one piece … the Baddest Bitch learned to be the Nicest Woman. In essence Foxy Brown learned how to accept being just Inga Marchand and keep it real with herself. Lesson learned, she got out a few months early.

So now Inga Marchand has been released and the media is all up in her face. She comes out and is ALL SMILES. She is now an Official Thug Girl With Street Cred. Without a beat, Inga Marchand runs out and meets her Mother followed by her Publicist, her Hair and Makeup Artist, Manhattan Councilman Charles Barron (why he was there I HAVE NO CLUE), and was whisked away to the backseat of a chauffeured white Rolls-Royce Phantom chased by paparazzi. But here is the REAL COMEDY, in a quick interview; Foxy Brown was asked what was it like being in prison? Her response, “ It was horrible, I was sitting next to all kinds of people, I mean I was next to Drug Addicts and Murders and … oh I can’t even describe it.” Then she was asked, “What do you plan to do next?” Her response, “I plan to go to Church and drop to my knees and pray and then go home.

Well alright Inga, you did learn something about being human. Then her Manager puts out there that FOXY BROWN has lined up a Reality Show, a project through VIACOM and VH1, speaking engagements, promotional rounds in support of her delayed new album, Brooklyn's Don Diva, May 13 because we need to get BACK ON TOP OF HER CAREER.

The Baddest Bitch is Back.

1 comment:

Shazza said...

interesting read... i didn't even know that was her real name... thanks for keeping us informed..