shot and stabbed in the back
strapped and handcuffed
rolled and locked within a house of illusion
i was told I had violated the limits of evolution.
for that I am punished.
born Black and Jewish,
female and gay
i contradicted and contrasted
the American Dream
when I decided to stay awake and act in my world
as it moved by.
like fruit and vegetables in the eyes of a hungry crowd
i was prepared for a succulent feast
in my night gown without a back
and told to bend over for tenderizing.
and at my juiciest
i was told to take off my clothes
to be photographed for future cook books
and quick recipes.
touched and pulled
my privates exposed,
and interjected by deep voices
pushing for answers
behind two-way mirrors and tinted glass doors,
bobbed wired fences and stone cold walls
i shed not one tear.
a virgin from the start
i spat on the spots on my body
to hide the shame
evolving too fast
in a slow world
flat like yesterday
nowhere near circular.
they told me this
over and over
until it rang like church bells
on the day of the saints.
rotting from the inside out
i spoke sweet words to calm the stench
that stuck to my body like semen from unwanted sex.
the pain building in waves
at every turn
contorting my face with lines
that intersected with three distant points.
a point of freedom to hope to despair.
joy lost within me,
i clutch my breasts
to slow the pumping of my blood
as it overflowed wine glasses toasted to a victory well met
because all in all,
the day was not a waste
but a job well done.
for in the end
i now sleep
complacently and passively
waiting for the Sandman to come
to bring me that American Dream.
Body Searched by Shazza Nakim
Copyright © by Peace of Mind Publishings and with permission by Shazza Nakim