Friday, December 2, 2011


I struggle with human nature daily or at least its impact in the Western World. Standing consumed in its need to be in higher stations than the person next to itself so much that its nature alters its "state of mind" even within its own family. The consciousness to out do, out perform or relish in the fall of others can be described no different than vultures waiting for the sick or injured to die so it can strip it of its self worth and dignity. We all stand revealed in the end.

I say this only because I was recently shaken to the core and into a state of surrealism, sitting on a train ride home with the World around me moving in slow motion. A truth, an verbal epiphany that revealed a flaw in my humanity, the hope that defines my spirit. It hurt my heart and will as well as my sensibility. I was humbled by a friend who today told me, "You know what your flaw is? You expect everyone you meet to be equal to you in common sense and intelligence and the truth is, people aren't. You'll never enjoy living for you if you don't accept this."
Photo by Shazza Nakim 2011

The moment hit me hard when he finished the sentence. If this was a total stranger, a passing association or a bitter enemy, the moment would have been just that, a moment. But this is a trusted friend. Someone who has equal integrity and fortitude and is brutally honest. He demands his friendships to be honest and will not cut cause or pause with those he equally respects. So when his criticism of the World is spoken, I rarely, if ever disagree because we are like-minded in our desire to see a better World with better people, absent the myth, pageantry, serenades of BS that humanity would like to soft sell its consciousness allowing it to sleep at night. Only thing is, the vision, truth and honesty was directed at me. And it hurt only because it was true. I do see everyone I meet as being an elevated intellectual or possessing a degree of workable common sense, decorum and respect. And when I don't see it, I get depressed, angry, stressed and to a point confused. I deeply question how is it that people can survive being in their state of mental and spiritual absence. My frustration become paramount when I can find no answers for myself and the end result, I departmentalize it and absorb it into my being and work that much harder to try and elevate people through my art, my lecture or my living example. And again, my disappointment becomes more and more apparent when I see that people don't care; often turned off by the notion that someone exists wanting to make them better by bringing knowledge, hope and or inspiration in the living flesh. In a sense, "No one is Jesus or Jesus-like".

There are certain experiences in life as well as sayings that stay with you forever. Those that define your character; to the level of self worth and actualization, can be the deepest of cuts into the psyche. How do I continue to justify the blank slate I give to people when at each turn, the initial colors on it will be dark and murky. Few vibrant and bright chosen pallets to keep and display as I go through my journey in life. My standard greetings to the human spirit and humanity, or at least I thought, allowed me to keep a degree of peace of mind for hope that we can all be better and yet in the briefest of moments, I was shown a mirror reflecting a flaw in my personal philosophy that in the end, deep within my subconscious, I agreed with. In my hidden reality, I had a seed that I kept from fostering into the fertile parts of my mind so that it couldn't grow and my friend unlocked that door and exposed it. 

"I can tell you this because I am the same way, but I am learning to let go and allowing people to just be people."

That was his follow up statement before he changed the subject.

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