CULTURE OF THE CUT 2013

WHEN MORNING COMES A World Without AIDS

JOINING FORCES Living Art on the Hill Exhibit

ART AND PROTEST Images of Peace Struggle and Human Rights Exhibit 2013

THE LANGUAGE OF URBAN CHILDREN THROUGH PHOTOGRAPHY

Don’t Steal My Art

I stand before you grounding myself

Planting myself in this spot.

Not like a seed in Mother Earth

Not like a man’s seed in the womb of a Nubian Goddess

I am standing here before you.

Physically speaking.

Man.

Physically speaking.

I am not the person who shouldered a nation.

Not one whom has picked up arms against the White Devil Establishment.

I didn’t bring with me tools from the Motherland

Or awoke with nightmares of being chained with my African brother’s songs keeping me alive.

Or having the spirit endowment of a continent that is in fear of castration.

Nope.

I’m just a Black Man, born in Harlem, to a teen-aged mother

Who’s father was too caught up in irresponsibility and fucking other Ho’s to stick around.

So why am I up here before you?

I’m here to inundate whomever listens with

words of metaphysical expletives,

then have those words bounce back many times

thus giving me a semblance of a room full of self gratification

and maybe,

just maybe I’ll get it through to a third party.
Become bought.

Finally understand the voices of  Black Poetry.

I mean, I saw the pyramids of Egypt and they didn’t call to me.

I felt the sands of my African ancestors between my toes

…. and by the way, it did more to burn my corns than emotions of traditions lost.

I saw the chains that were used to bring my ancestors to the shores of America.

Ivory Coast to Plymouth Rock.

And I wasn’t mad.

I was more informed if anything else.

Milk and honey that fed mankind,

Rice and beans the food of a nation.

Goya … Oh Boya and 2 for $2.99.
I had food for thought and on my table.

What I guess I’m saying is that I know where I came from.
I know where I am.

And with the resource of mind, body, and spirit, I know I’ll be all right in the future.

I am not lost.

So I ask,
where is my Black poetry?

Where is my hate.

Where is my poor.

I know my History first hand.

I haven’t been whipped, stripped, dipped, raped, castrated, or fucked over.
I don't sing the Blues
and Rap in Rage.
My soul music sooths
and my Jazz music grooves,

so where is my Black poetry?

I can’t see a Celestial Gate held open by a King of Kemet

Or the ancient embodiment of an Isis something or another.

I don’t see African blood washing to the shores of an evil nation,

Or the bludgeoning of a young mind by a legion of devils who fear my penis when I walk into a room.

I never felt it, never saw it, never really cared about it like that.
My conversations with GOD is loving.
My kisses with my Mother loving
and I have my father's eyes.

So where is my Black Poetry?

I am a Black Man

That I know.

I know I can’t escape that shit.

Call me African-American,

call me Nubian,

call me Hemetic,

call me a Warrior,

call me a person of color,

call me a Son of Shabazz,

call me a Son of a Bitch.

But if you have an issue with any of that, I have a Ph.D. in Psychology
so you can call me direct too.

I’m paid by the hour and I round up for the extra minutes.

First initial visit is free
cause I know how you all like the free shit.

Ignorance aside,

I am Black.

Darker than most, privilege even less.

I know I lost 10 cool points from birth

And you know what?

I’m not pissed off cause I always liked being the underdog.

The underestimated.

In me, in you, in her, in him, in us.

Minus 10 cool point for everyone.

We all live in a minus 10 cool points of society.

We are a family of Underdogs.

Minus 10 out of a scale of 1 to 10.

And speaking of Dogs, I’d like to tell you that I cheated before.

I cheated several times.

And did that shit come back on me like a wave of Bad Karma.

You damn right.

Put my Black Ass in the hospital.

So now that I suffered,
I felt that pain.

Where is my Black poetry?

I live alone.

Up in Harlem.

And since then,

I’m still waiting for it to come back.

By the way of time I’ll reach an over ripe, lineal age of half over the hill

Eating cat food,

piss poor health care,

Clintonized ……

and living in a building full of White folk.

Yeah, that’s when Harlem will be back.

I can’t wait.

Along with that last living Black poet.

I missed the Million-Man March

But I sucker punched a cop at the Million Youth March.

I got back 1 cool point for that.

Now I keep thinking “They got my ass on video.”

Like that show on American’s Most Criminal or something.

Yeah, then I’ll get snatched up and serve 40 years for a crime I tried to lie about and said I didn’t commit.
And still I won't get it.

So somebody tell me,

Where is my Black poetry?

 Cause I ain’t got that much time.

Work is the sole property of Shazza Nakim and is published with written permission by the artist.

 (c) Copyright 2013

AN ABORTION OF JUSTICE

So I wake up in anticipation to the Sean Ball case. I pretty much stayed quiet on my opinion and public statements because many of the Community Groups decided to pull back and allow the justice system to work it's magic. In the past, the New York Justice System always used and accused community groups, especially Black and Latino Activist Groups for inciting Racism, manipulating the and or interfering with the structure of the courts, misleading evidence and pressuring litigators for political reasons by threatening the potential for Riots in decisions involving Police brutality and obsessive force. So this now was a test. A test to see that if a community were to NOT be involved, would the system own up to its word of carrying out JUSTICE without excuses and blame. So much was the non-involvement that the local media was asking, “Where is Al Sharpton?” as well as other locally known activist such as Councilman Charles Barron. The Black Church made mention of the events and the activities leading up to the decision. There was a conscious practice of non-involvement until the final days.

The media played the day-to-day strategies of the court, its inconsistencies, the play on words, legal analysts read their tea leaves trying to predict what was going to happen but BLACK folk knew what the endgame was going to be, and YET they still Hoped that the Legal System would do the right thing. Black folk knew what the final decision was going to end up being the moment the courts ruled to forgo a jury and have a SINGLE JUDGE make the decision. Common Sense would say that anyone, unarmed and in a closed environment (a car) being shot with 50 bullets, some of which fired haphazardly at innocent bystanders, and others still having bullets lodged in their bodies of the defendants, it would stand to reason that someone would be found guilty of at least the minimum charges. So as a statement of calm, we all sat, and waited and PLANNED until the final conclusion was made.

The Sean Bell case is a clear example of Police Brutality 101 by the NYPD. You could not write a better “script” than this. Without building a coalition, the story itself took on a life and lived in the hearts and minds of all New Yorkers because no one in their right mind could comprehend how 50 bullets were needed to stop three men in a car when all three were innocent. In events past when there were questions about OVER POLICING by the NYPD, sides were drawn, but in the Sean Bell case, people know what sided to be on and the NYPD had very little support. There was no need for massive protests in the streets because the American justice system would rule correctly on this one. The possible reason for lack of overt activism in the beginning may have been the lack of media enticement or lack thereof without Black Community Leaders as a catalyst for fanning the flames and decent as material to work with. Then again, it could have been due to the event’s simplicity. This was an Open and Shit Case. It took very little to keep the importance of Sean Bell’s life out of the media everyday. Sean Bell was what you would call a "Clean Cut Kid" with no record, no violent background, no drug usage, well educated, and a hard working family man. Even with the conscious strategy of having Black Lawyers representing the police officers and their use of the term, "GOOD BLACKS vs. BAD BLACKS" used against Sean Bell and his associates throughout the case, there was a public acknowledgement that the courts were really stretching to find something to justify his murder. Here you had an American, attending a Bachelor Party the day before he was to get married to his wife and begin his family with a child, not having a criminal background and you end up being shot by several police officers because they “thought” they heard he was going to "get a gun". As the lawyers continued to dig deep into the officer’s story, the initial causes for shooting went from "fear of being shot" to "fear of being run over with a car" to the people who were all shot had "criminal affiliations" (Trent Benefield and Joseph Guzman) to their stories changed and consistent because they wanted to sue the Police Department and make money from Civil Case. Open and shut case right? Wrong. Somewhere along the line, Sean Bell's Human and and Civil Rights were left at the door and walked over.

The officers; Michael Oliver, Gescard Isnora and Marc Cooper were all the central players in this Legal Drama. Marc Cooper, 40, was noted for firing so wildly, that his bullets sprayed into a near by train station, almost hitting an idle standing bystander. Cooper faced charges of reckless endangerment. Officers Michael Oliver, 36, and Isnora, 29, faced Manslaughter charges and Assault and Reckless Endangerment with their uncontrolled weapons. In the end, it was Justice Arthur Cooperman delivered the verdict, Not Guilty.

When those Words were uttered, the Bell family broke down but they remained strong. Deep down, behind the Hope, they KNEW. They knew that the Police would not get what normal people who murder indiscriminately would get. As things would go, the Bell family would have HOPED to get an apology from the System for their loss and as of the decision, had not. As Black folk, the understanding of bias, double standards, two legal systems, police brutality, over sentencing, under reporting, over policing, militia style policing, creating name and affiliation data bases and profiling is power for the course when living in Inner City New York so HOPE is the ideal word for what Black folk prophetical live by. When Community Leaders put out the message to stand down and allow the System to function without intervention, the tensions had never subsided. Knowing that “if” and “when” THAT decision is made, that ENERGY will be directed not into Destruction BUT into a wave that will flow ALL OVER THE CITY.

"This verdict is one round down, but the fight is far from over. What we saw in court today was not a miscarriage of justice. Justice didn't miscarry. This was an abortion of justice." --http://video.wnbc.com/player/?id=244770 Rev. Al Sharpton

I sat in the audience, as did the community when Sharpton explained that when a Woman miscarries, medically this means that the body was unable to handle the life that is was given. It means that due to no fault of the Woman or accident, life CANNOT be carried and it fails. When a life is “aborted”, it is a conscious decision, a planned killing, and a methodical step-by-step murder of life. In the case of Sean Bell, from the shooting to the systematic structure of the court to bring about a decision of Not Guilty, their was a premeditated plan for an ABORTION of justice and it should be seen, understood and explained as such.

"Obviously, there are some people who are disappointed with the verdict. ... We don't anticipate violence, but we are prepared for any contingency." http://video.wnbc.com/player/?id=244683-- Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly.

The lack of “expected” criminal and destructive actions has stunned the NYPD and its Legal Community. There were no riots, no fighting in the street, no rocks thrown, cars being turned over, gun shoots in the distance or threats and cursing after the decision. Black folk gathered their anger and their fears tied together by their HOPE and made way to their Churches, Community Groups, Local Organizations, Homes and Schools and coming out with all the RESERVED ENERGY needed to CLEAN HOUSE. This was easy to do because prior to the decision, Black folk in New York prepared and had a "CONTINGENCY" as well. In the past 10 years in New York when citizens thought that the worst the NYPD can do is murder Amadou Diallo, it had gone complacent and bored and decided that 21 shots needed to grow to 36 to 41 to 50 shots. Now New Yorkers know that 50 shots will grow to 60 and into 70 and ultimately into an arsenal of body holes and it needs to stop. But how will Black folk do that? They aren’t telling nor advertising their strategy this time. This lack of knowledge has begun to increase the NYPD and New York City “fear”. This much they all know, Uptown WILL be coming Downtown.

Walking the streets of Harlem and I saw no Beat Walkers. All of the Officers are in Patrol Cars. Driving. Searching. Wondering if and when the time will come and the "explosion" begins. With the weather getting warmer, the children on their Spring Break, what now? No longer comfortable to walk the streets, the command offices now feel that Black folk will became dangerous, uncontrollable and detrimental to their livelihood. Not true, Black folk have decided to change the script.

"Today we're grateful that this court ruled on the evidence presented in this case. But with this case, there's no winners, there's no losers. We still have a death that occurred. We still have police officers that have to live with the fact that there was a death involved in their case. ... It's a tragedy for all police officers who have to live with the difficult job we do but nevertheless we're grateful for this outcome." http://video.wnbc.com/player/?id=244688 --Patrolmen's Benevolent Association president Patrick J. Lynch.

The comments of Patrick J. Lynch read from the typical and old NYPD script. Translation: “Yeah people got shot, and some N____ got shot too but Shyt happens. You’ll get some money from this but HEY, as Police, we are under a lot of pressure so get off our backs aiight.”

"There are no winners in a trial like this. An innocent man lost his life, a bride lost her groom, two daughters lost their father, and a mother and a father lost their son. No verdict could ever end the grief that those who knew and loved Sean Bell suffer. Judge Cooperman's responsibility, however, was to decide the case based on the evidence presented in the courtroom. America is a nation of laws, and though not everyone will agree with the verdicts and opinions issued by the courts, we accept their authority. Today's decision is no different. There will be opportunities for peaceful dissent and potentially for further legal recourse -- those are the rights we enjoy in a democratic nation. We don't expect violence or law-breaking, nor is there any place for it. We have come too far as society -- and as a City -- to be dragged back to those days. http://video.wnbc.com/player/?id=244865 -- New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg

Politically and Publicly speaking, the Mayor of New York cannot tarnish the NYPD and yet when this whole incident occurred he did say that the shooting was, “obsessive”. Not the NYPD and it is because of this attitude towards Black life, the people are DONE, no more passes.

"We ask people to be calm as they protest, if that's what they choose to do. ... On the same token, though, we ask police to be calm as people protest. ... We have not heard what these men did that caused police to act as though they were America's most wanted, yet still we hear a verdict of not guilty. We will go to the next level, whatever that might be, to seek justice." -- Leroy Gadsden, president of the Jamaica, Queens, branch of the NAACP.

The role of Youth is heavily highlighted in the movement. The numbers on the streets swelled to a major capacity. This is good for several reasons. Through the marches, the interviews and rallies, the main theme spoken was, "This could be you. This could be Me. This could be your child? Sean Bill is me." for what is it worth, the Mothers and Fathers that broke down in tears and stood tall and shouted know that this is a TRUTH that cannot be ignored. When asked, during Al Sharpton's National Radio Show, how do you think the current political figures running for president should react? It was noted that it was not anyone's place to predict but Black folk will put Hillary Clinton and Governor David Peterson on NOTICE and an active commitment to making this RIGHT will be DEMANDED.

Later, as the groups retired to meet the next day, some of the protesters heard Barak Obama's reaction to the decision, the skepticism and wariness rose to the top with some when Obama said:

After watching Obama's comment, many of the people who left the rally gave pause to the response. After a few minute of dialogue one man's thoughts were this:

"It's in moments like this is why I feel Obama will fall short of addressing Black issues. Sure he may be able to fix the economy, bring back the troops, possibly bring about a solid foundation for jobs in America but for the individual Black person, what do he bring to the table in situations like this besides Hope. I don't want any more Hope, I want justice."

I would have to agree. The response was a bit disconnected, generic and dismissive to the Pain and Hurt that Black and Brown people feel and have felt for years in relation to Police brutality by the NYPD. Like the "bitter" comment that offended the people of Centeral Pennsylvania and Small Town America, the Obama Multiculturalist Philosophy of "let's come together" aren't the words for calm that Black folk want to hear just about now. I mean, how do you tell a HURT PEOPLE to accept a people that greets them with open arms; flowers in one hand and guns and bullets in another?

WHERE WERE YOU SHAZZA? Pt. 1

I was going to get all detailed about my relationship and how it began, flourished and then tragically ended but then I thought to myself, “Self, do you really want to give that much Body to a carcass rotting in your memory?”

DAYUM !!!! You might say to yourself as you are reading that last line BUT that is how I feel. The relationship is dead and I don’t plan to go Jesus and resurrect something that should have ended a LONG TIME AGO, according to how my Ex had childishly tried to explain.

Let’s just say that when one person is into the relationship, committed, honest and supportive and the other is fickle, dishonest and selfish, IT’S A DEAD THING. The thing is, I am not stupid and in my many deep and serious conversations when one asks the question of, “Do you want to end this relationship?” and the response is, “No, that is not what I want” when what you really mean is “YES”, the result of that dishonest answer has serious repercussions. It gives the affected a false sense of continued investment of affections, energy, commitment and “sacrifice” and when the truth comes out, you can’t be surprised when the affect is (and I am polite when I say this) PISSED THE FUQ OFF. When after an extended period time of sightless commitment, you are caught in the output to a one-sided relationship, when it abruptly ends, my wave of emotion raged out like a monsoon cut loose upon a village of idiots too slow to move inland.

OK so here’s the deal. I am a GOOD MAN. I don’t smoke, don’t drink, I am Spiritual, never arrested, masculine, athletic, considerate, conscious, forward thinking, culturally grounded, funny, talented, well traveled, well-spoken, involved in the community, love children, WANT CHILDREN, etc etc etc. I am that type of GOOD GUY that all mothers want their daughters to marry and BAD BOYS try to make sure their women don’t meet. I know myself because I have found myself a long time ago. I am grounded. I am the marrying type because I WANT TO BE IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP. So when you take all of this positive energy and you toy with the notion that this is WHAT YOU THINK YOU WANT to then decide after playing with a person IT ISN’T … what is a person to do?

“That’s just how it is. I’m sorry you feel that that way but … I can’t help that”, my Ex’s response.

I guess you would say that because people assume that the NICE GUY will remain that way because and accept it because they are WEAK in mind and heart. VERY DANGEROUS THINKING. And even if this assumption was TRUE, why would anyone want to play GAMES with a weak Mind and Heart. Those are the two organs/emotions that create News worthy situations.

Don’t worry people, I’m not THAT crazy … BUT I let this moment wash over me just enough because KARMA IS A BITCH and so is my Ex.

“You are abrasive, some people really hate your ass, but there may be a group of other tight knit assholes and bitches that you hang out with and get you. Everybody else? Fuck ‘em, Right? OK, I’m going to let this marinate a bit and I will come back and tell you what I think about you." I end the conversation before I go to a RED ZONE.

We moved on?

You think I'm angry a little bit? Where do I re-direct my anger? Why am I venting like this? OK think about this.

What if you got involved with someone and you really liked him or her. Then your significant other says to you, “I got a job transfer and I will be moving to another State. I really love you and I don’t want to loose you. You have been the best thing in my life and I don’t want to break off what we have. Will you consider coming with me?”

What do you do? I personally struggled with this for a long time as the clock ticked down to the last days. Deeply, I tuned down the idea of leaving family and friends to move to a State I knew nothing about and knew no one but three words made me break from my fear of making a CHANGE, “I love you.” I put away my selfish and stubborn desires to stay where I was comfortable and listened to the possibilities of having a new life with the help of my family and friends whom all supported me decision to make a new life elsewhere. I knew I had control issues by playing it safe in all of my life decisions. I mean I was not one to take BIG CHANCES with my finances or leap into something without thinking it completely through. I then said to myself, " Self, I think I can do this". When the proposal came to move, I made the leap and I did.

Moving to a NEW place, it took a while to adapt but I eventually did. One of the things that I do is PLAN. And plan I did. To buy a house, to get a decent job (even in an ailing economy), to start a business, to get involved in the community, to connect to the Black Community and its writers and to learn the history of this new place I live in. And there were great possibilities there. Starting out with very little, my Ex and I communicated, shared and acquired everything we needed to make a good life. We had a system for how we did this, keeping our communication, our feelings, and our commitment ongoing. We even used a technique taught to me when I was a youth and did Anger Management Counseling. When communicating sensitive issues and avoiding arguments, you enter into a conversation with another be establishing rules for respect and say, ‘I NEED YOU TO HEAR ME.” In doing this, you let the other person know that you want to speak un-interrupted, no responses, no opinions, no interactions .. just the person sitting and actively “hearing”. You then end the conversation with a date and time for the other to respond. This allows the other person to think and absorb the totality of what you have stated and when the date to respond comes around, the other person speaks and it is your time to “hear”. This process allows for real honesty with all the elements of balanced emotions and logic needed for understanding. It’s a safety zone for real feelings and allows for true respect. BUT the key is you have to be committed to Honesty.

We did this and we built a household that was good. Property, prosperity and opportunities, the blessing were not blocked at all. When people saw the relationship, it was an example for all others to follow. Even our friends and parents fell it was a blessing and good.

Then my Ex wanted to do something wonderful, start a business. This was great because where we were, the business proposal would have made not only an impact, BUT some serious money because there was no competition as well as the client feeding companies and providers surrounding us that wanted to partner and or needed the service as well. The blessings rained down in full support. With my background in business development, I decided to do the work. All my Ex had to do was just sit back and have the blueprint for success presented on a silver platter and get certified. It was a NO BRAINER. Mind you. It was my Ex’s goal for the business which like any relationship, became "ours" as a couple.

Now in order to do this right, someone had to sacrifice his or her dreams and aspirations for the other. Since I have already done so by relocating, it made sense that by doing this new business venture, I would I not only know the community, the politics, the economics and potential pitfalls BUT I would establish a foundation for a family in a place where I had none. In doing the work, I developed the business plan, established the financial commitments, committed to a location, gathered the backers and took a job where from the inside, I was able to get all the supplied needed at COST. The only thing needed was my Ex’s commitment to do the work. Tick tock and the clock slowed to a stop when a decision was made. “I want to be back in New York.”

"OK?"

So in the mean time we do the conversation thing, between the time commitments, social schedules, the stresses of a family deaths and illness and at this time my health was beginning to affect me (mostly stress related causes), we began to sit down and really talk. This was the moment when I first asked, “Do you want to end this relationship?” I had asked this because I felt that there was a major shift in our relationship, the feeling that a BRICK WALL was coming and if it was to be avoided, now was the time to TALK. This wasn’t the first time I had inquired about the strength of our relationship. Since my Ex traveled a lot, I wanted the degree of communication to forever be there. Knowing friends in the entertainment and travel business, I know that in moments like this, trust and communication is key. The other reason was that “IF” my Ex wanted to end the relationship, I could make the appropriate changes in my life and continue on with my life and or move forward with all the work that I put into the “business” and would have been happy where I was. even more so, the respect for each other would have been more appropriate than the traditional BLOODLUST than comes with nasty seperations. The decision to re-commit to the relationship was made and I conceded to move back to New York deciding to take the business plan there, especially since I have done all the work. My other deciding factors were my family and friends and to be back in an environment that I knew well.

So now you figure, since my Ex was traveling to New York on a regular prior to breaking things down at home, having a place and plan mapped out in advance would be a simple responsibility. Wrong. By the time the move was committed to, we ended up living with friends. This was to be a two-month deal. Coming back didn’t bode well for me either because the initial job that I had set up upon my return, the offer ended up going under. So now I am not working full time. In looking for a new place, no matter what I found, my Ex found problems with it. Even when there was something that worked well … it would seem that there was a so PROBLEM. Two months turned into three, turned into five turned into 7 months and now we have a PROBLEM because I can’t live in someone else’s home when I have always had my own. By this time we are not communicating at all and when we do, we argue. When we finally sit down like adults to TALK I get this TRUTH, “I really wasn’t into this relationship, even before we moved back. I didn’t really look hard for a place because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to continue living with you and the only reason why I stayed in this relationship was because I was looking out for you.”

WHAT THE FUQ?!?! The reason why this relationship is FUQ’ed up is because of ME? How are you looking out for someone who had built a foundation by which you lived like a GODDESS, building up your credit, your self worth, living standard, healthy living, spiritual health, peace of mind, beat back those person's draining your life and helping you gain a resemblance of a positive reputation, helped you through a layoff right after we initially moved and assisted you into a NEW career and maintained a home that was stability that you have never had and YOU are looking out for ME by bring me into a situation where you intended to DUMP ME?

"I really want to be living in North Carolina but you don't want to move there." my Ex tell me matter-of-fact like.

"I pick up and move from New York and then move back and within a few months of moving back, move to another State for the simple reason that you don't want to be here. And we are Here, because you stated YOU want to move back?", I say.

Ladies and Gentlemen, up to this writing I never really went to THAT PLACE with my Ex. I didn’t just yet BUT mentally I am not ready but it will happen prior to the divorce. You see, when I was a child, I had ANGER ISSUES. Issues that required me to do therapy in anger management techniques. These techniques have aided me throughout my childhood, teen years, and adult life. As peaceful as I appear on the outside, I am a rage of fire and brimstone on the inside. I cannot begin to tell you how much anger that was and still is pint up within me so I have entered into increased in intensive pray, meditation, exercise and writing. As I tell people that I am single once again, the SHOCK VALUE on people’s faces tell stories. When I explain as to how it happen, people still can’t comprehend because everyone asks, WHO in the world would sacrifice for them and practically give a person everything that NORMAL PEOPLE pray for and even is handed a business gift wrapped and walk away from it because “THEY ARE BORED?”

I though this as well but after talking to my Ex’s family (we are still cool with each other which usually happens when the good one’s get away from a family) I found out that my Ex is a RUNNER, never really committing to anything, a job, a place to live, relationships, friends you name it. The family also agreed that what my Ex did was wrong and was really sorry as to how it ended (still shocked that it did end).

So now I am here dealing with this, on top of the financial commitment with this divorce, the separation of possessions, the non-communication, all the Bullshyt that comes with ending a relationship lasting years and still remaining civil and respectful until the separation is complete. If it wasn’t for the fact that my Ex’s response to this was, “I’m sorry you feel this way but that’s just how it is”, and my not booking an express trip to Ryker’s Island Prison with my response, I might be able to move forward quicker than I am at present.

WHERE WERE YOU SHAZZA? Pt. 2

A few weeks ago I Blogged about how a close friend of mine was being shipped out to Iraq again on April 15, 2008 (A FRIEND, A CALL, A WAR AND A PRAYER). He’s already been there for a tour and in Korea and all other places serving our Country. This is a worthwhile and noteworthy thing. It was his choice as well as his duty. I don’t have issues with the military; at one time I briefly considered the occupation myself, "BRIEFLY" being the optimum word. So the need to leave and do what needs to be done as required, I am in full support. And as my friend, my Boy Marco knows how I feel about him, the Occupation and this Administration.

Well, during my time away from the Blogosphere, I get a phone call surprising me that my Boy is half way between New Jersey and New York City. MAN I was surprised and also half FUQ’ed. I had just ended a serious Long Term Relationship and needed to be in that state of BLUES, you know the kind of Blues where you are listening to all the “sad songs” that define your life and feelings mixed with deleting all of the “our songs” from your Ipod so you can complete the Remix of the SOUNDTRACK OF YOUR NEW LIFE. I know I wanted to see my Boy Marco because in the reality that is the Bush Regime, this may be the only time I may see him for the next 18 months. YES, he’s gone for 18 months …. THE BASTARDS!!

Last time we hung out, I was chillin out in Chi-town but I was a work-a-holic so the quantity time we shared was only done in quality time. Not to mention, my Boy was detoxing from culture deprivation and had rather slept, eat Oreo cookies and drink Kool-Aid all day then go out and party. Nothing wrong with that. So now that it is a little over a year later, My Boy was doing his "The Marco Tour" to connect with his friends and family before his deployment.

So Marco arrives at 11pm on a weekday. Excited, we meet and greet, catch up and then he hits me with the BIG QUESTION, “So what you got planned for me?”

Now, if you live in a major city and you have folks from out of town, especially those from a rural area or the deep SOUTH you can relate to what I’m about to say, "US CITY FOLK DON’T PARTY 24/7". And even though New York City has the reputation as the City That Never Sleeps that unfortunately refers to the CITY, the PEOPLE LIVING HERE DO SLEEP. Especially the 9 to 5 Peoples.

So here I am, on the downturn of an emotional rollercoaster and sitting across from a Body with the energy of a rising Sun, what’s a Brotha to do? Well I had to do what many people have done in many years past, we looked at his wallet and said, "THIS IS FOR NEW YORK AND TOURISM, BOOST THAT ECONOMY."

So we made out a plan which involved, Club Hopping, House Parties, The Apollo, The Cotton Club, Lenox Lounge, Dinners, Bootycalls and Hoochies (come on ladies, he’s single and heading to Iraq for 18 months I had to do something), Meeting Family, catching up with friends and actually sitting down and having QUALITY TIME. That was the best. The fact that we could sit down and talk about goals, wishes, fears and his anger about heading back over to the desert. We talked about moments that to me were trivial but to my Boy, meant the World touched me so deeply that I moved aside a place in my heart to make him family. Interesting enough, he told me that I was more like his Older Brother than his actual Brother. I couldn’t tell you how much that meant.

So as the days go by and I watch Marco handle himself here, based upon his experiences, if he was not careful, New York City could eat him up and drain him dry. I mean, just like the saying, “If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere” is a reality. This is why.

As part of our agenda while Marco was in town, he wanted me to so a photo shoot for him and for his family. I agreed (I guess he knew the sympathy of being shipped out to Iraq, I'd do it for free, which I ended up doing ...) Afterward we were driving back to Harlem from a photo shoot that I did for him at one of New York’s most scenic parks when a car pulled up next to my Boy’s driver’s side. Marco, driving a brand new LEXUS (really nice, the head turning type, most definitely a sign of MONEY old or new) he kinda was BIG WILLY on the road. This Dominican kid then yells out at him, “Yo Papa, I got that Haze! Give me your number and I hook you up.” On the passenger’s side I am seeing just how my Boy would handle the situation and in the true style of a Country Mouse my Boy Marco responds, “Word?”.

“Yeah Papa, take my number and call me so I can have your number in my phone.”, he says in an insistent tone.

So Marco takes out his cell phone and begins taking the kid’s number. “Aiight, yo, what’s your number?”

Before he could complete the number exchange, a second kid driving with the Dominican says, “Yeah Man, we got those Pills too.”

I then interject to Marco very calmly and matter-o-factly, “Yo, you don’t want to do that.”

“Why?”, Marco asked

“You just don’t.” spoken in a Fatherly tone.

I look at the Dominican kid driving, lean across My Boy and say, “Yo Pa, we will call you later OK, we have a party to get at and we need to know what we need to get. We’ll get at you when we know.”

"Oh word, where is the jump off? Maybe we can roll through?", he asks.

I say to him, "Not that type of party. "

The second kid pitches, "We got that good shyt yo. The best."

“Yo, call me now. Call me now.”, The Dominican driver insists.

“I’ll call you later.”, I end the conversation and then I look at my Boy and tell him to roll up the window. “Negro, you need to drive this car straight and head downtown.”

When we get to 125th Street and Broadway I begin to tell Marco that he was just about to enter into a drug deal and his gullible ass didn’t even know it. Then there was no knowing if the police were watching and even if you were just talking, you and I would have been thrown all over your nice little LEXUS looking like THUGS on a Cops episode. I also drop the knowledge that everyone in New York is nice, but you have to be seasoned enough with the lingo to know if you are meeting someone nice or someone "nice".

Surprised and embarrassed my Boy says to me, “I didn’t know, I thought when he said he got that Haze, he was referring to a Rapper and selling his Bootleg CD. You know the ones people say they sell in New York.”

Like I said, Country Mouse.

I sat there in the car for a few minutes then started to laughed HARD. He laughed too because he knew, he wasn’t quite ready to be left alone here. New Yorker's can Smell New Meat as well as someone ready to buy a bridge cheap. I just couldn't see My Boy leaving here with only a barrel and flip flops.

We did Ground Zero, looked at the Statue of Liberty, had Uptown Soul Food and Texas BBQ, Spanish cuisine in Washington Heights, Central Park, the Bronx, Queens, and Brooklyn, traded pictures and music and in the end, made PROMISES. We promised to keep in touch, me being his tie to Home and him letting me know that he is being smart and staying alive. Looking at the Military’s Report to Congress this week …. Well I’ll just keep my opinions to myself for later.

Seven days later, I am totally exhausted. I lived the life of a CITY THAT NEVER SLEEPS and I was dragging. Between lack of sleep, running from dawn to dawn, eating on the run, dancing playing tour guide as well as BIG BROTHER .. oh did I tell you I was going to work as well… LAWD I needed a deep coma sleep. And yet, I was over my BLUES. I was now OVER MY BREAK UP. Of course I am not over the initial anger of the break up, I mean the reasons why are still immature, ignorant and devious BUT I can now move on and count my losses. I have my Boy Marco to thank for this. GOD does put people in your life for a reason. Especially when my issues with a break up is small in comparison to being assigned to a WAR ZONE for 18 months.

NOTE TO POLITICIANS: STOP HAVING SEX

It was only a matter to time. What? Less than 24 Hours before the digging into the background of NEW Governor David Peterson and already we know that he has had Sex. Not only with his wife, Michelle Peterson (the first Black First Lady of the State of New York) but BE DAMNED with another woman.

There are some events were I can be swept up into the wave of excitement and then there are others that are just too good to be true. David Peterson was one of them and for the most part, the People in Harlem gave off that same energy. Black folk were patiently waiting for that other shoe to drop. Call it a deeply rooted suspicion, call it a tie to Black History, maybe a residual effect of a Conspiracy Theory that the downfall of Eliot Spitzer was an inside job from his Republican rivals but regardless the source of the communities foreboding, there was a time period on calm before the storm and in record time it reared its NASTY HEAD, the next day. After David Peterson received a stand ovation from his acceptance speech, a gracious introduction of both sides of the aisle, his call for working together, his focus in fixing the economy of the State of New York, his inclusion of Black, Latino, Asian, White, Men, Women, Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Northern New York, Southern New York, the Wealthy and the Homeless, his message was clear and direct, as a Republic, as a State within the Union, New York’s States challenges can no longer be about ego but solutions because if it is not NOW, it will be NEVER. Peterson’s healing song were the words, "There's trust that needs to be restored." In all relationships, this is the last and binding step for healing and moving forward.

What Peterson forgot to do with let the people know that he is having Sex. Although he alluded to it when he introduced his WIFE and CHILDREN to the State Congress. He let the entire State know this because he had a variety of guests such as three past New York City Mayors (Ed Kotch, David Dinkins and Michael Bloomberg), two State Senators (Hillary Clinton and Charles Schumer) and ex-Governor Pataki. His State representative list was a Who’s Who of delegates and Super delegates. A party that Obama’s teams would loose sends over and yet with all the players at the PARTY, they all were witnesses that at some point, their REPLACEMENT Governor was having Sex in some shape or form.

So now that we know he’s having it in his immediate family structure, it up to the media’s to have a purposeful intention to look for any hookers, prostitutes, girlfriends on the side, past affairs, gay, bisexual, sex toys, porn, nude or semi-nude pictures, Internet memberships, rapes, blowjobs, STD’s, illegitimate children, aborted children, previous husbands, previous wives, past groups sex offers, tattoos, medicines to improve Sex and or breast enlargements for that the PEOPLE should know. You figure, if you can get one New York Governor why not try and get TWO for the price of ONE.

I posted in just the past few days Blog entries on the issues of how SEX takes too much of the forefront in our conscious thought on matters that are not important (American Dirty Girl, Spitzer's Shame Blame and a Woman's Fame). How sex and the United States puritan views for pretending the actions does not exist, how in our actions to make it hidden, SEX actually becomes the very nature of American's obsession, especially in Politics. I am not diminishing the bizarre aspects of what some have done, like playing footsy in Public bathrooms, but the private matters of sex in modern families should not be exploited as a weakness in one's political character here or in the World.

The positive fallout about this story is, most New Yorkers don’t even care. If anything, they are frustrated that it is even an ISSUE so soon after the Peterson’s Inauguration. I mean it was less than 24 hours ago. Looking at written reactions to this hit on the public, I read the following responses from The New York Times, March 18, 2008:

“What is the problem in New York that there should be such a shortage of saints available for public office?” – Posted by Nat

“WHO CARES?” – posted by Jennifer

“Do we really need to know this? I sure don’t. What’s next? A "mia culpa" of impure thoughts? Spitzer didn’t have an affair - he broke the law by buying sex and laundering money to cover up his illegal transaction. An old affair in the ancient history of a long marriage is no one’s business but theirs.” – Posted by Amanda, New York

“Well THAT was a short honeymoon . . . .” – Posted by Bettye Underwood

Then again, the "Affair" happened years prior to David and Michelle Peterson being part of State Government, which like many Married Couples, they decided to work in their resources, a way into a solution, which made the Peterson Family stronger.

“This was a marriage that appeared to be going sour at one point, but I went to counseling and we decided we wanted to make it work. Michelle is well aware of what went on.

We have a marriage like many Americans, maybe even many of you. And the fact is that we work through our marriage and want our children to see that we could make a difficult situation work. We’re very much in love with each other when we got married, we’re very much in love with each other now. I was in love with Michelle even when I knew the marriage was in grave danger. The fact is, for my own actions, I was angry, I was jealous and I exercised poor judgment. One day I realized it and I just decided I would go to counseling and have tried to work through these problems with Michelle and …you are seeing the real relationship, the day when we got married, the one we have now, maybe, maybe even a little bit enhanced by much better communication.” -David Peterson

Only those addicted to finding scandal or just have issues with Peterson will enjoy this titillation for Political Dirt. Some would even see this release of information as a positive PR event. Much like an Obama, we get all the dirt out in the open first and then exhaust any possible conflicts for the future. I just might agree with this tactic but HONESTLY, I rather not have known at all. That was and still is a private matter for David Peterson and his family.

What is in our best interest? Well, I guess there should be a check list of things a Politician can and can not do or have done before running for any position, call it an honor code if you like. The interesting thing about it is that to do this, would eliminate practically all the World Leaders all over. American’s need for the perfect Politician has never existed. Including American’s first President, George Washington. Sex isn’t an illegal act. Affairs are moral issues which depending on the circumstances (like a Spitzer/Prostitution felony inquiry case), aren’t areas the PEOPLE need to be involved in or need to regulate a person or a person political. I read in a Blog entry where someone asking if the People in Harlem were dancing in the streets knowing that one of its own, David Peterson, was going to be Governor of New York. Well, I can actually answer that question now. NO we weren’t. We are watching from the sidelines for any illegal plays from the aisles, the referees, the rules committees, the coaches, advertisers, cheerleaders and the media covering the GAME. It would appear, the MEDIA has made it's first move.