THE GOODEST BITCH IS BACK

So Inga Marchand is finally out of prison. It was almost 1 year ago she was ordered to go to Ryker’s Prison for probation violations. I mean all she had to do was stay under the radar and be like “normal people”. You figure at 28 years old (that was how old she was when she was sent to serve time) that one would have enough sense to enjoy freedom and a use enough Common Sense to behave. I mean as Thug Girls go, Inga Marchand’s claim to fame was beatin’ down little Asian Women at Nail Salons and throwing Blackberries and people. But she didn’t behave because somewhere in her mind, Inga Marchand thought she was Naomi Campbell. You see when too many people tell you that you ARE, “The Baddest Bitch”, when you’re NOT, you better have Naomi Campbell Money or at least Contacts.

In the end, The Judge said, “Naw, I’m the Baddest Bitch, now get your Monkey Ass in a jumpsuit and get locked up”. And that’s is just what happen. Inga Marchand was sentenced for 12 months at the Rose M. Singer facility at the New York prison since October of 2007.

So if you have no idea whom I am talking about by now, Inga Marchand is also known as the Notorious, Hardcore, Make No Mistake, Queen of the Mic, Battle Bitch Foxy Brown; the epitome of Rap Glamour and Hardcore Lyrics. Foxy Brown, just like lil’ Kim, were the future of Women in the Rap Game, what the media labeled as the "Gangsta Girl", what Real N_ ‘s wanted in a Woman. Well Ryker’s Prison wanted her more and decided to re-defined that image Big Time.

When Inga “Foxy Brown” Marchand, entered lockdown in the tradition of all other Rappers as a “Rite of Street Cred”, Girl’s chest was pumped like Kong as she perp walked her ass into the clink. What Inga “Foxy Brown” Marchand didn’t know was that the “REAL” Bad Bitches were waiting for her. Now I am not one to disrespect Women by calling them the B-Word but to make a point and or describe the World that Inga “Foxy Brown” Marchand was working from and eventually into, we must call it the way the Players want it to be played. This is a story more about what IS real and what WAS fantasy.

Inga “Foxy Brown” Marchand gets into Ryker’s Prison thinking that her Foxy Brown persona would give her the Street Cred needed to be Queen Bee behind bars. What she didn’t know was that she was NO MARTHA STEWARD. Real Street Cred is having WEALTH ENOUGH to say (or in this case have a Lawyer say ) I want to be Upstate New York with my own WING, some groupie, making pastel quilts, floral curtains and planting flowers. Instead Inga “Foxy Brown” Marchand got the "First Year State Attorney Three Meals And A Cot" deal. Based upon her Bitching throughout her stay, it can be assumed that the Real Bad Bitches told her she had to skip the cot and “Grab Floor”.

Within days, Inga “Foxy Brown” Marchand was in an “altercation” with a fellow inmate, which required her to be placed in SOLITARY. We don’t know what the circumstances were but in talking to my connections within the system, the Women up in Ryker's don’t usually react as the Men do. There is no period where they “TEST THE BOOTY” or “LOYALTIES”. The Women’s Prisons tends to connect and bond more so than challenge and control UNLESS you enter with attitude. Trust me, if you do not have a grip on Anger Management, there will be someone to give you a Crash Course. A crash upside your head. Thank Goodness for Solitary Confinement.

Then we hear The Baddest Bitch stepping to The Judge to ask if she can be released early to get her ear fixed because of some infection. In reality it was a request to have a broken ear piece repaired. WHAT? You mean Thug Girl got some Forrest Gump Up In Her? “OH HELL NAW”, the judge told Inga “Foxy Brown” Marchand, “Get your HALF HEARING BLACK ASS BACK BEHIND BARS, I AIN’T PLAYIN WITH YOU!”

Well The Judge didn’t say it like that but you know what I meant.

Then every other story you heard was Inga “Foxy Brown” Marchand pissing this one off, Inga “Foxy Brown” Marchand pissing that one off but in the end, FOXY got her act together because the word was out that she was soft. Word back on the Street was she calmed down too because The Judge didn’t care that she needed to be in a recording studio either. The reality of knowing that on the outside, the legal system wasn’t going to cut her any slack and on the inside, they had her number, it was best to WOMAN UP and recognized that by doing the time “RIGHT” you can get the FUQ out in one piece … the Baddest Bitch learned to be the Nicest Woman. In essence Foxy Brown learned how to accept being just Inga Marchand and keep it real with herself. Lesson learned, she got out a few months early.

So now Inga Marchand has been released and the media is all up in her face. She comes out and is ALL SMILES. She is now an Official Thug Girl With Street Cred. Without a beat, Inga Marchand runs out and meets her Mother followed by her Publicist, her Hair and Makeup Artist, Manhattan Councilman Charles Barron (why he was there I HAVE NO CLUE), and was whisked away to the backseat of a chauffeured white Rolls-Royce Phantom chased by paparazzi. But here is the REAL COMEDY, in a quick interview; Foxy Brown was asked what was it like being in prison? Her response, “ It was horrible, I was sitting next to all kinds of people, I mean I was next to Drug Addicts and Murders and … oh I can’t even describe it.” Then she was asked, “What do you plan to do next?” Her response, “I plan to go to Church and drop to my knees and pray and then go home.”

Well alright Inga, you did learn something about being human. Then her Manager puts out there that FOXY BROWN has lined up a Reality Show, a project through VIACOM and VH1, speaking engagements, promotional rounds in support of her delayed new album, Brooklyn's Don Diva, May 13 because we need to get BACK ON TOP OF HER CAREER.

The Baddest Bitch is Back.

I BROKE UP WITH MY GIRLFRIENDS

Yeah I know I am a little late with this but Girlfriends is cancelled. Oh My God, the Network made the ballsy decision to cut the Negro Show and say it was mostly due to the WRITERS STRIKE. I hear you, I mean all those other sitcoms were just fortunate to have that little extra to stay afloat and make another season at it. I hear you, it was a “HARD” decision to make with all those other shows you have on the line up. I guess the viewers should be fortunate that it make the cut from UPN to CW. I mean, 9 years is something to be honored, especially as a Black Television show or even a Black ensemble series (a record in television circles) and even more so, an honored show (Nominated for Prime time Emmy. Another 7 wins & 35 nominations) at best (THANK YOU KELSEY GRAMMER aka Frasier).

As you all know, I take to research before I go on the repeat and spread gossip as News but here I get this all up in my eyes:

We hear from a source within the "Girlfriends" writing camp that the CW has decided to cancel the series immediately instead of bringing it back for a ninth season.

While no official announcement had been made as of press time, we were told the CW will not even film this season's remaining nine episodes that were suspended during the writer's strike.

Ironically, news of the show's cancellation comes just as the strike has ended and the writing staff was preparing to return to work. We were informed by one of the writers yesterday that Monday night's one-hour block of new episodes served as the show's last.

"Girlfriends" became the longest-running live-action comedy series currently on network television with the debut of its current season in October 2007. The writers strike suspended production after only 13 of 22 ordered episodes were completed.

The series, created by Mara Brock-Akil, was consistently the No. 1 show in black households since its Sept. 11, 2000 debut. Original cast members Tracee Ellis Ross, Golden Brooks, Persia White and Jill Marie Jones starred as a group of close friends dealing with life and love in Los Angeles. Jones left the series in at the end of Season 6. – EURweb Feb. 12, 2008

WHY IMMEDIATELY? This makes me suspect. I will admit, in the beginning it took me a minute to warm up to the Sistah’s Show (that’s what I call it because it was kinda WEST COAST GHETTO) but I grew up in a house full of girls and in each one of those heifers; Joan Clayton, Lynn Searcy, Maya Wilkes, Toni Childs and the fifth Girlfriend William Dent, all represented at least one of my sisters. I think, like the Huxtables from the Cosby Show, we all had someone in our family that we could relate to, which was and still is part of the success of shows like Girlfriends. Granted, this was a "BLACK" sitcom and most of its honors reflected that, none the less, it was the number one watched Black Show on television for 9 years straight.

I guess my favorite and unfortunately moderately short-lived was Toni Childs, played by Jill Marie Jones. Her leaving once the show transitioned from UPN (Urban Peoples Network) to the CW (Colored What?), the rumors of contract renewals, money issues and story lines became true. Still, she was my character and the one I think I’d love to hate the most …. Toni Childs was DRAMA, more quality drama than Joan who in my right mind I would never want to be LOCKED in a room with … can you say ISSUES. But regardless of your views of the characters, they were all family, Black Families, Black Friends, they where the people in my family, my sisters growing up.

While in Chicago I had the pleasure of meeting Reginald C. Hayes. NICE GUY. He not only was approachable but he is/was humble for the work he received on Girlfriends. That in itself was a reason to respect the work on the show. My ear to the acting world has told me that everyone on the show shared the same sense of the pride and dignity and that energy displayed and put out reflecting the inspiration that the entire cast and crew wanted to portray.

Thinking back, this was reminiscent of another ensemble cast of Black Women, Livin' Single on the FOX network back in 1993. Originally Livin’ Single was to be a mid-season filler, the show lasted for 5 seasons being at that time, the longest Black ensemble show to date. More Afrocentric than Girlfriends, it was Ghetto East Coast and rough around the edges but soon found it stride and became the blue print for young successful urban youth and young families. What I enjoyed most between the two shows was that although both were centered on the successes of Black (women) progress, both captured a detail struggles of Black identity, pride, independence, mainstream, assimilation, beauty, spirit, history and economics within communities on the SMALL SCREEN. Call it a toned down version of the Cosby Show, you can not dismiss the fact that what Bill Cosby had accomplished in terms of Black Images on television with his brand of family open an acceptable door for Livin’ Single (Urban Realness) and Girlfriends (Jack and Jill Realities).

There may have been other shows, ensembles that all shared the same formulas of the four aspects of Womanhood; Age, Sex, Intelligence, Humor, but none spoke deeper to the Black community as Livin’ Single or more so than Girlfriends. Take The Golden Girls, which became a CLASSIC even before it was in re-runs. You have Blanche, Dorothy, Rose and Sophia; these names are ingrained in television lore, were the bright and safe journey to retirement telling a fearful world that it is OK to get Old. And over the years, with the lessons and laughs learned from watching there women, that once you find your first grey hair, pluck it, look at it in wonderment, and then laugh your ass off because now you can officially, "SAY WHATEVER I WANT CAUSE I EARNED THE RIGHT TO BE OLD, BEAUTIFUL AND BOLD". I have caught many of Black folk (Brothas as well) sneaking and watching these Grandmas. I can admit that in my youth I never saw the fascination of looking at four wrinkled grey haired women sitting around a kitchen table eating cheesecake and calling each other sluts, old maids and idiots and yet as the years pressed upon me and my personal friendships became deeper, I now find myself sitting around my table eating bowls of organic cereal while calling my friends with their building potbellies and receding hairlines calling each Ho, Fat Ass and Mr. Dirty Boy. We may not be all that "Golden" but we are catching a bit of SHINE nearing our mid-life years.

By the time Sex In The City arrived on the scene, my television days declined into serious and conscious driven viewing. I also made it a point to only support those shows that made real efforts to employ Black actors in real roles and represented what I considered real like ME. There were very few choices and if I subtract the over saturation of Black Athletes, shows trying to make Rappers into Stars with bad behavior, there wasn’t much to choose from in Black television outside of pushing the sitcom as the only image of who Black people were in America. With the soon to be absent Girlfriends; we can look forward to shows like Lipstick Jungle, Cashmere Mafia and Gossip Girl. I know, I know I don’t want to get all-RACIAL and all but I only see is one Asian in all of the three shows mentioned which is Lucy Liu. So much for diversity on television. I guess Hillary and Obama can address that in their next debate. Then again, maybe not.

EARTH KITT, A GRAMMY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS

I watched the Grammys the other day and as usual, I was not impressed. I guess its age, maybe it’s my changing taste in music but regardless of the reasons I really wasn’t moved. There were a few high points when seeing the legends walk across the stage or perform. I mean who can’t get a little excited when you see The Artist; PRINCE with his androgynous, booty crack showing, high heal, pressed, flipped and rag tied back cheveux ass. I LOVE HIM!! Then you get one of his running buddies, THE TIME blaze the stage and all you can see are my Purple Pin-Stripe Jeans and Commander Salamander Purple shirt with the Members Only matching jacket and pink tie. OH MY GOD I was so Purple Rain. It was also the lowest level in my fashion sense, until I was saved by my girlfriend. She was a Rhythm Nation follower and if I wanted some, I had to get on board for my Passport to save the World in my Black on Black on Black wearing a Black Cap.

The Grammys were all about giving recognition to those that had come before. I like shows like that because you get to see Entertainers that entertained. None of the flash, special effects, the magazines and gossip, it was either you had the talent or you didn’t. I recall reading an article about how the current pool of entertainers today are passing out and checking into hospitals due to exhaustion after doing a few concerts. Comparing that to the artist of the past that would sing, dance, write music along the way, do interviews, etc and would not rest until their 20 to 50 city tour was over. Granted many experimented with drugs along the way, but many did not and continue to perform today. I look at Tina Turner performing with (Floor Crawling, Stair Falling, Wig Wearing, Country Girl Talking) Bouncey and I said to myself, “This woman is holding her own with this young girl and she is as old as my grandmother.” The fact that Tina Turner and many of the legends on the Grammys are still at the top of they "GAME" and the kids today are complaining about colds and stress and headache, I just shake my head. Tina showed the type of energy and professionalism from a woman that toured the Entire Country and then some and gave you SHAME to all the children. Proud Mary never looked so good when you see that the young ones need to go back and do some serious study, the same type of study Barry Gordy made every signed artist at MOTOWN do. I would ever make the Rappers today study under the Old Skool talents so that they would understand the real power of the CRAFT and stop calling it THE GAME.

So let me get to why I am writing this new Blog entry (since my past Blog commenters made mention I make them read too much), during the Grammys, I saw many legends from The Beatles to Aretha Franklin (P.S. Can someone do an intervention for her because she looks like she needs a few dozen enemas, some suction and Jenny) but I never see mentioned in Music, Film, Theater or Dancing circles another woman that has not only paved the way for many Black Entertainers but has posted and sacrificed her citizenship during the Civil Rights era of the 1960’s. This woman is Eartha Kitt. Her longevity in entertainment extends five decades and she is still going strong. Around this time of the year (BLACK HISTORY MONTH) its seen that we always go the same icons like Lena Horne, Besse Smith, Billy Holiday, Sarah Vaughn, Aretha Franklin, Ella Fitzgerald, Dion Warwick, Nancy Wilson just to name a few. I often throw in names like Pearl Bailey and Earth Kitt when talking about the grand divas of the past and I either get, “WHO?” or “OH YEAH I FORGOT ABOUT HER” which is so sad because Pearl and Eartha has contributed to the Black struggle for acceptance and or American Change than all the other women mentioned.

Earth Kitt, if you really look at her life closely, started out as a tragic figure coming from a hard Southern upbringing and had consistently over come barriers to become an INTERNATIONAL STAR. I had the opportunity to see one of her shows and I was blown away. I remember in that concert she ended her show singing acappella, a song in a foreign language, which after a few minutes we (it was a double date) found out was German. Then Eartha switched languages in the middle of the song to Japanese, then to Swahili, then to Portuguese then to Spanish, then French and then to ENGLISH. Once the English hit, so did the music and the song became recognizable. The song was, LET NO MAN PUT ASUNDER. I was blown away. Come to find out later, Eartha Kitt speaks 15 Languages Fluently. During the concert at THE CAFÉ CARLYLE in New York (a place she performs regularly for years) she came to my table while singing and extended a champagne glass, without missing a beat we poured Eartha a glass of the bubbly while she sang a tune about loving CHAMPAGNE. When we told her that one of our sitting party was having a birthday, she came back over and did a Sex Kitten version of Happy Birthday in French with a leg thrown over his shoulder in fishnets and high heals. The rest of the evening we kept calling him MARCUS. For those who have not seen Eddie Murphy’s BOOMERANG, it’s an inside joke.

Looking at Eartha’s life, she was abandoned by her family for being a Bi-racial child of the South, struggled as a dancer in Harlem, worked her way into the limelight to become a dancer and then a recording artist, actress of stage, then film and television. Eartha won awards and had become the standard for CATWOMAN that not ever Oscar Winner ( HA HA HA) Halle Berry couldn’t match.

Eartha was Black Listed in 1968 in the United States for speaking out against the treatment of Blacks during the Civil Rights era and Vietnam at Lady Bird Johnson’s First Lady’s Brunch at the White House. Eartha made known that as WOMEN and as a BLACK WOMAN she could not just sit and eat like the Rich and the Wealthy and pretend that the NATION wasn’t on fire with racism and war and as a First Lady it should be on her conscious to not pretend either. After that moment, Eartha had to live in Europe just to make a living.

I won’t go on and on with Eartha Kitt but I will say, look up her biography, she truly is a SOUL we need to remember and include in that list of BLACK PIONEERS and ENTERTAINERS. As far as I am concerned, she should have been on the stage at the Grammys as well. SHYT!!! They had Little Richard, Wooooooooooo !!

Musical interlude in a film with Sydney Poitier and Eartha Kitt

One of the best Video Biographies on Eartha Kitt.

THE STEPFORD FAMILY CURSE

I am not a big reality TV person but there are a few that catch my eye such as The Amazing Race, American Gladiator, American’s Next Top Model (this is my inner-girl talking) and occasionally I check out Super Nanny. Today I checked out Wife Swap but since I watched a whole episode for the first time, I have to throw that in the mix of Reality TV I watched and or enjoy. Here’s what happened, I did some running around all day and came home and took a nap with the television on. I woke up with Wife Swap staring me in the face. I didn’t change the channel because the episode caught my attention where the wife in a Black family exchanged places with a White family. The Black family were this uptight, strict, overseeing controlling family where the kids were a product of a modern oppression camp. The White family was that of a free spirit, no binding rules, full of creativity and one of fun, a literal FAMILY OF CLOWNS. Of course I was like, you know how this is going to turn out. The Black family will instill some values and the White family will rebel because ORDER always wins out over CHAOS in every situation.

To my surprised I saw one of my family member’s history in this episode. This Black family was Off the Chain with dictatorship. They were regimented from sun up to sun down. I won’t get into the particulars of how the show had me focused; but the resistance to change was greater for the Black family than the White family. The wife of the Black family when placed in the Clown Family went as far as moving her swapped family out of their home and into a larger HOUSE, selling their clothes and then took the husband to an agency to prove that he had no talent (which kinda backfired because he ended up getting not only an agent BUT a job doing what he was trained on doing; Entertaining). The White wife allowed for a little freedom for the children like having fewer chores, a family lawn party inviting neighborhood children and playing games, allowing the kids to explore their neighborhood and the deal breaker was allowing them to trash their father’s office and not being punished. As much as they enjoyed it, they were afraid ( by the way they didn’t get in trouble). Interesting enough, for the whole show I saw nothing but FEAR in the children’s eyes. That look of avoidance, which in my opinion, isn’t a sign of humility BUT a sign of weakness and lack of self-esteem, a family based on fear and discipline.

Upon the mini-reviews, the Black family’s husband (I guess he must have had a gun at his head when he said this) realized how COLD and dismissive he was to his children and he’d try and give a little more freedom and personal time to his kids and even listen to them more. He then goes on to say that I never knew that his children were so unhappy.

I paid close attention to the Black family (maybe because of bias, possibly because I saw they were the most dysfunctional) but I wanted them to get it. In my crystal ball of life, I saw those kids rebelling and the parents trying to figure out how and why for years. More so, I see the kids leaving home and severing their contact with the parents keeping them at arms length compounded with years of therapy. OK Maybe not therapy since BLACK FOLK don’t do that couch sharing stuff …. That’s what Oprah is for.

With the two families together exchanging opinions all I kept hearing the Black family say was, “We have a vision for our children”, “I’m not going to spend my life making my children happy”, “Love is not based on our kid’s happiness”, it was horrible the way the children were designated. From my point of view, the children seem more of a burden for the parent’s lack of personal happiness than the totality of the family enjoying their relationship AS FAMILY.

The wife of the other family kept interjecting, “You keep using the word TRAIN. You train animals and you raise and love children and I don’t see how you do that when they are miserable.” The Black wife’s response, “Love is not based on our kids happiness and I am not going to change that because we have a plan.”

In my personal life, my uncle had that same PLAN. When I was a child and my parents would take me to visit him, their house was set up the same way. The home was sterile of all fun and happiness. They had toys but they had rules for playing with them, I never saw or met any of my cousin’s friends; they had limits as to how far they could go from the home. Chores from sun up to sun down, the LORD had to be thanked for everything, you couldn’t speak or laugh out loud and when company did come by, the whole family had to sit in the living room, in assigned chairs neatly and quietly. It was like visiting THE STEPFORD FAMILY.

Well my cousins eventually grew up, one got pregnant out of wedlock and to a Thug, one was gay and in conversation found out he was being molested as a child by a church official and did not have the courage to tell the family. The third cousin? Distant. He has no contact with anyone and doesn't want any. The family eventually were excommunicated from their church for my UNCLE'S sin, and thus excommunicated himself from the entire family. The youngest cousin ended up being so distant from start and is doing his own thing that if he has adopted his wife's family as his only real family. No one knows what he is doing and I think he likes it that way. So here we are years later, and we ask ourselves, was this their “BIG VISION”?

The wife of the White family made a comment to the Black family that hit me like a brick wall, “The one place a kid should be able to go to, even if they know they will get in trouble is their parents.” I was caught sitting on the couch shaking my head in total agreement because so many kids, even the one’s here walking the streets of New York City can’t even begin to conceptualize this. The freedom to go to someone and tell his or her STORY to whenever they need to talk is the most damning thing to any community.

The kids upon having their mother come back were sad and crying. When asked why, they said they MISSED the other wife, the one that allowed them to be children. Can you imagine, as a Mother, having your kids say they miss a total stranger more than YOU?

Two weeks, after the switch, the Black family went back to the way they were and as the children were interviewed again, their responses were more inline with what their parents Vision for them to be. Several of them responded that they prefer their parents rules rather than the ones where the father and mother opened doors for communication and or the freedom to meet and explore their individual interests. In essence, it was about the rule of law and children being seen and not heard. I hope they are ready for the real world – I’m talking about the PARENTS.