Showing posts with label Black Women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Black Women. Show all posts

Monday, December 5, 2016

I NEED YOUR HELP AGAINST RACISM AND BIAS BY GOOGLE !!


If you are a person of Good Conscious and Justice I need your help and it would only take less than 10 minutes of your life. I need you to recognize the overt bias Google displays on the Internet. I need you to TYPE in Googles Images Search Engine "Sexy Black Moms" and then do the same search for "Sexy White Moms". I have to warn you in advance, the images are graphic and disturbing. This isn't a joke nor am I making an argument limiting Free Speech ... my issue is about "blatant bias and misrepresentation" by Google and using its "analytical programming" as an excuse. Several years ago I did this for Black Child vs White Child and African Child vs other Children of different Nationalities the results were similar. In that campaign I and millions contact Google on their Bias and Racism practices and they changed their search engine to reflect a BETTER REPRESENTATION of searches for Black Children. One would have hoped that these change would be unilateral but it wasn't. Regardless if the omission was by Google's corporate ignorance and ethical conscious or blatant neglect, this isn't new for Google and it seems to be ongoing. Now back 4 years later and we are asking people of good conscious to do this all over again.

So here is the 10 minutes of your time needed for this Campaign. Start with calling Google with a well thought out complaint at 866-246-6453 or 650-253-0000. You can also call 877-355-5787 and if you know peoples outside the US call 1 646-257-4500. Google has a formal Legal Removal Request form that should be filed by as many people as possible. A record MUST be made and on the backend, we will have others that will handle any legal pressures so that they understand that Bias, Prejudice and Racism is not going to be Normal in our lives. 

Go to the following link https://support.google.com/legal/troubleshooter/1114905... and then select: App Engine & Compute Engine. You can write in your complaint as well. Call and Write. For every 1 complaint it is equivalent to 10,000 people. A call and email from one person increases the accountability the Google MUST respect. 

1. Go to the Google Search Engine homepage Google.com
2. Go to the lower Right of the page and select "SETTINGS"
3. Select "Send Feedback"
4. Type (Copy and Paste if necessary) the following within the dialogue space the following:

"I am writing to you about the unethical, bias and Racist representation of Black Peoples within your Search Engine analytic software. This has been an ongoing issue with Google and you have not unilaterally addressed it to its proper resolution. In speaking with several of your Google Female Employees, when asked for them to do the search themselves, they too were offended by the lack of ethics Google has displayed on this subject. As per this site's request, I have attached the nature of my complain. As a customer/non-customer, there is no answer or response that can justify this blatant bias and racist act. I demand that this be addressed for both Black Woman and Black Men."

5. Attach a Screenshot of your Google search of SEXY BLACK MOMS
6. Follow up with a call to 650-253-0000 and ask to be directed to their Voice Feedback line and leave a detailed message of your anger over this.
 

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

WHEN BLACK MOTHERS NEED TO LET GO OF THEIR BOYS TO BECOME MEN

Before I get in, can we take a moment to observe the mother, what she represented, the language, the dress, the attitude? OK ... now for my POV:

I love Mom and I know she meant well but her MALE CHILD'S purpose was to protect his future and as such, h
is MOTHER. This is what MEN do. This is what Black folk have done since chained and bound for our Trans-Atlantic kidnapping from Africa. There isn't a time or generation Black Men and Black Boys have not had to step up and represent Civil and Human Disobedience to survive in The Americas. At no time in American History has the country freely extended Human Rights to Black folk. It hasn't freely done so to Hispanics, Native Americans and Indigenous Peoples, Women or to its own White folk for what matters. That being said, I can't honestly say I know all the details and background of this mother's intent but I do know it was personal, counterproductive and selfish to her cause of; "let some other kid get hurt and die and not mine" and all the while those others are taking the hit for her not seeing the Big Picture. The MAN in her child that needed to grow, evolved and experience what needs to be done is/was being crushed. THIS IS WHY SINGLE WOMEN NEED A STRONG MALE ROLE MODEL FOR THEIR SONS. JUST FOR MOMENTS LIKE THIS.

Imagine in India, South Africa, Mexico, Syria, Libya, Russia, Pakistan, China, Korea, Palestine, Vietnam, Columbia, Argentina, Poland, Romania, Latvia, Estonia, Ireland, Egypt, Burma, the Congo, Ivory Coast, Haiti and I can probably list 50 more countries had mothers telling their children ... their male sons, to stay indoors, to STOP throwing rocks at an oppressive force that uses military tools to oppress them, kill them and their families and keep them in fear? To coddled and sheltered their BOYS ... their YOUNG MEN? The attitude of "NOT MINE" doesn't work when you are fighting for justice. This is the "sheeple" way of looking at life. She has in essence tamed and neutered her child into submission maintaining that only Martin Luther King Jr. is the way and light for social justice is the only way for pushing the agenda of human rights forward.

What needed to be done was she should have been by her son's side guiding him in a way (or out of the way) that had equal impact. If she didn't know how, then a person equal to the
challenge should have been by her side or had that person guide him. Be it mentor, pastor, boyfriend or MISSING FATHER. And just like people have issues with public shaming on the Internet, I have issue with the public castration of Black Boys to Men because we are too scared to "Do the Right Thing". You all do remember that movie right? No one left the theater saying how you would have told your child not to react and get involved then. You actually applauded the actions because it was real enough to connect to. If that was true then, when did it become fantasy today? Same actions, same scenario just absent the stereo.

This mother was wrong in her methods because at the end of the day, if her child had his neck broken by the Baltimore police and got off without accountability, she'd want more than a few kids throwing rocks at their oppressors. She'd take all and every attempt to Right what was/is wrong with the System. She coddled him into submission and this his Manhood took a backseat to a mother's misguided notion that what was going on was too ignorant, dangerous and un-Manly for him to experience. A warrior to the cause taken out by an unfriendly fire, a Mother from the inside. So now I have to ask, who was more dangerous, the Baltimore police for murdering a Black Man and getting away with it or a
Millennial Mother not connected to the history to how she was able to achieve her relaxed two toned hair, hoop earrings, gold necklaces and watch, makeup, nails, high heel shoes, club dressed with a Love and HipHop attitude? Her agenda was to keep her Boy a Baby and let others do the heavy lifting while her stay at home and wait for the benefits to continue to rain down as those in the 1950's, 60's 70's and still into the 2000's are doing. Her excuse was that she didn't want her child to be another Freddy Gray ..... truth be told, he already is. I get it, she is a MOTHER but like all
things that matter and affect boys, you have to allow them to be Men, make mistakes and let them go.I used the word coddling for this Mother's actions defined as a disease. Yes, respecting one's mother means coddling, in my opinion, if a mother actions keep a Boy from becoming MALE or keeps the Boy so closed off to the World that he becomes stymied by its reality and easy prey for manipulation and easy marginalized as an adult male. This situation required a MALE point of view which would have allowed this boy to make a balanced and focused decision (i.e. a Male and Female perspective). Granted there are Men who feel the same way the Mother did or does and may have told this boy not to get "involved" but the only difference is that the Male would have represented "differently". This wasn't about safety for her child, it was about NOT letting her child make an adult decision to do what he felt was the RIGHT THING."I went because in the past, a lot of my friends have been beaten, killed, abandoned, hurt by the police—so I went down there just to fight for what I stand for ..." - Michael Singleton, the Young Man who was beaten by his mother participating in Civil Disobedience in Baltimore Md.

"We should applaud our young Black (boys) for having bravery their parents' have not." - Craig Schley

MY OPINION






Monday, January 5, 2015

THE BEST OF 2014




A Look Back at 2014, The Year of Soul Searching

A montage of photography during 2014, "A Year of Soul Searching". I thank all of my supporters and mentors for your personal energy, advice and attention over the months. Your support has allowed me to grow, influence and bring a sense of peace and happiness to others.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

A BELLADONNA CURVE (for girls with faces)


Like music
the movement
the bend
the elegance
it was both harmony and melody
and seemingly enough
she didn't move.
Cat girl
on a catwalk
a Paris Red to Milan Blue
the eyes
deep
and the mouth
a lucsious point of succulent focus.
Then she turned her head in non-observance
and moved
like a force of nature.
She split passion into
love and addiction.
Head to shoulder
--soft,
waist to toe
--methodically powerful,
as she draped material of a hand crafted nature.
Cut
Stop
Turn
Watch
Freeze.
Hypnotized.
The allure.
A wind caused by the catwalk blew in amusement
when she lifted her arms and called for our admiration.
Without a smile.
We confessed all of our sins that day.
Heaven help us
Hell be damned,
to give one such beauty.
She had brushed the trenches with perfection
the one purpose for living.
On the scene and on stride
like a sun rise
she turned back upon herself to leave a world
touched by
brilliance.

A Belladonna Curve by Shazza Nakim
Copyright © by Peace of Mind Publishings and with permission by Shazza Nakim

MOMMA SAID NO




She did the right thing
back in the day.
Tired from a day's labor.
Separated and beat back
Momma defied
she pushed back
and brought light
for our eyes.
Momma gave us sight beyond sight.
Momma gave us words for our voices
and gave us existence where once was
none.
Momma taught,
in our infancy,
that it was OK to say No!
But today No! no longer has the power,
it’s snap,
or its honor.
Today's No! is heavy with
tears, sadness, and sorrow.
Momma was violated
turned inside out
by the child that said Yes!
A child who missed the lessons of
No!
Defied and pushed back
Momma cried due to the labors missed yesterday.
Beat back and bruised
Momma still pushes on because
she can still say
can say No!

Momma Said No by Shazza Nakim
Copyright © by Peace of Mind Publishings and with permission by Shazza Nakim

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

RWANDAN TEARS




In a sea of faces
the untrained eye would blur
but in war torn Rwanda it’s a fight of the races.
Staring at thousands of pictures like a voyeur
it’s all that life has to offer
when looking through the unknowns in a parental posture.

Babies, just babies they are
ripped away and separated by bloodshed and fire.
From hills and arid lands near and far
Some held behind camp fences made from barbed wire
and still others
recruited by force to become mercenaries for heir.

Mothers plead and cry
in African chants and maternal care
praying to the Creator for theirs not to die
or not to be one of the many in the cold lonely air
where the wild had feast
and their small remains baking in a violent sun's glare.

Aunts and uncles share in the pursuit
as well as in the lost.
Generations corrupted by the future commute
across a nation at both spiritual and personal cost.
A task that will be done
in order to find their loved ones before a Death's chilling frost.

"No war in Africa was started by an African".


Rwandan Tears by Shazza Nakim
Copyright © by Peace of Mind Publishings and with permission by Shazza Nakim

Sunday, May 11, 2008

GRANDMA'S SHINE




Grandma shined in my eyes.
An absolute shine that was in my heart,
in my soul.
She being in my head.
Grandma had a way of getting into my head.
A perception, I thought, beyond her age.
She knew when my actions were benevolent
and called to me with a smile.
I remember doing wrong
and she forgave me,
way before Ma and Pa ever knew.
She always did things like that.
She had a special gift.

Grandma would always buy me things.
Things that I didn't like
Things I didn't want.
Days, even months,
then years
later I would use them.
Grandma would know.
Grandma always knew.

I would send salutation
without words,
much the way I did when eating slices of Shoofly Pie
and glasses of milk delivered daily
--in the kitchen.
Her kitchen,
with patterned window curtains
and animal shaped pot holders,
checkered tiles and the aroma of cinnamon and chives.
Clean as creation, it was brilliant,
much like the sun.
Looking back,
the sun always seemed to shine
more brightly then.
Even when it rained.
I would sit there
quietly,
in the kitchen,
Grandma in the den.
Knitting.
We would talk for hours.
In silence.
Much the way we do now.
She in Heaven
-- and me,
basking in the light
of her beauty.
Her shine.
Talking up a storm
which would always turn
into rainbows.


Grandma's Shine by Shazza Nakim
Copyright © by Peace of Mind Publishings and with permission by Shazza Nakim

Saturday, May 10, 2008

THE WILLIAMS EFFECTS

Over the past few days I watched the longest playing political sitcom nearing the end of its second season. Why do I say this? Well May and June is when all the other Television Shows end their seasons and the way the Democrats are playing out their scripts, the Season Finale should end pretty much around the same time LOST leaves the American people in the same state. Some time around September or October when the NEW SEASON re-airs, the Cliffhanger that is “WHO WILL BE THE DEMOCRATIC NOMINEE will be the new storyline that the American people will follow, with new characters (since Romney, Guliani, Bill Clinton, Rev. Jeremiah Wright, Anne Colter and if we are lucky Rush Limbaugh will be written out like poorly written Soap Opera sub-plots) and NEW players will surface to bring about new Dramas and Laughs to boost the ratings. So until then we will watch a Summer of Sports and that sport of choice for me will be TENNIS.

As a youth, my parents encouraged me to participate in sports. I played some of every MASCULINE DRIVEN sports; Football, Basketball, Baseball, Wrestling, Volleyball, Swimming, Track and Field and for a short time Tennis. Tennis didn’t stick but for that short period of time, I learned one thing, I didn’t like playing the sport but loved watching it. Years later I chose the sport I liked most and excelled at it well into and after my college years. As the years continued, I learned by working in youth sports, to enjoy watching kids try and find themselves through their experiences in sports. In the 1990’s I had a few youth players enter into an Annual Summer Youth competition where our elite Tennis players were up against a group of players from California. I was to soon learn that our BEST PLAYERS got WALKED ALL UP THEIR BACKS AND NECKS WITH COMPTON HEELS by two little girls with the last name’s of WILLIAMS. That was the first time I witnessed the talents of Serena and Venus Williams.

The best part about my time working with youth and sports is that many on the Premium Players then that survived their Inner City circumstances, are now some of the most visible leaders in their field and seeing the Williams Sisters grow into World Recognizable Status makes a person proud.

So when Venus came of age, the Tennis World couldn’t wait. Being unorthodox in her training and experience she started out shaky and so did her Critics. There wasn’t a kind word at all about her abilities. The comments that came with Venus Williams’ arrival to the Sport of tennis were Racist (especially since the Tennis Association WAS and elitist Sport to begin with). I followed the media; I collected and taped everything Venus Williams. I even had a storage boxes and file cabinets of articles, newspapers and magazines of everything written which in the late 90’s was pretty much all anti-WILLIAMS which detailed her inability to WIN the big ones. Then Serena came along and that only heightened the negative press. For a time I followed USA Today’s forum on Women’s Tennis and in my experience, the International Community had nothing but NEGATIVE comments as well. I mean they were NASTY. For every one posting, there were 25 NASTY comments with only HIGH PRAISE for people like Lindsay Davenport, Martina Hingis, Jennifer Capriati and Anna Kournikova. To the World and America, those Women were the darlings and future of TENNIS. To their surprise and America’s, THE WILLIAMS in a short period of time crushed and forced that same NEGATIVE World to Recognize that they were in Tennis to win it, and Venus and Serena Williams WON IT ALL for several years straight.

So once the two sisters got into their stride, there was A CHANGE in the whole game of tennis. People began to notice the SPORT. Sponsors wanted to be apart of the game, fashion, soft drink companies, cosmetics, McDonalds and Hollywood. Then there were the MILLIONS of dollars that came rushing in like the rains of NOAH. The Tennis Association embraced these "two little ashy kneed, Ghetto playing, Compton plastic bead wearing, Amazon darlings of the TENNIS WORLD". The Naysayers had to eat crow and apologized or grudgingly learned to accept the fact that DIFFERENT wasn’t DEFICIENT and these girls were SERIOUS and could PLAY. There style of play so GREAT that it lifted the level of PLAY across the board on both the Women’s and the Men’s side of the game. This all may be HISTORY to some but it isn’t where I want to go with this story, what I want to do is concentrate on the RELATIONSHIP of the Sisters themselves.

By 1999 America now had two viable Champions that they could stand behind to represent the very best that a country had to offer, “even if they were BLACK”. Their consistency took the country into a ZONE that it could not wake up from. No matter what you though about the Sisters, the FATHER or the family background, Tennis, America, Whites and Blacks knew they had champions, even when they HAD to play each other. And there developed a slight problem. The Sisters were so GOOD that the only people capable of beating them were themselves. As such, AMERICA and the TENNIS WORLD had to decide whom they liked BEST.

SOUNDS FAMILIAR??

Last Tuesday I wanted to make this my Blog topic of the day but my act of Civil Disobedience delayed it. The Political Battles of Hillary Clinton and Barak Obama continued with a 1 to 1 win, Hillary winning Indiana and Obama taking North Carolina. Surprise or no surprise, each won the states they were suppose to win. As they say, a win is a win. Much like tennis, if you take the way the Williams Sisters play, you know from the beginning, they were going to MOP the floor with the chicks on the field and then up the playing once they got to the higher tier players. We knew that once the higher tier players were put away, in the finals you had Venus on one side and Serena on the other. Once that happened AMERICA HAD TO DECIDE. It wasn’t as simple as, “Oh I am just happy that they both made it to the finals because they will both be winners.” NO DAMN IT! Someone has to win and someone had to loose.

The Williams came from the same PARTY, my bad, the same FAMILY. Both are strong players, same talents, same background, the same opportunities but once one looks deeper, there is that one thing that makes a person PULL for one sister over the other. For me, Venus is my choice. She was the first to emerge, the oldest, the more controlled, her goals were loftier, her talents mostly from hard work and dedication and not natural ability unlike Serena, who is a NATURAL TENNIS PLAYER and even by her family’s acknowledgement, is the BETTER PLAYER. You see, I am an Underdog lover and Venus Williams is the Underdog when comparing the two.

Hillary Clinton and Barak Obama, right now are a product of THE WILLIAMS EFFECT. The two are so evenly matched and loved that now the two are meeting at Center Court for the Finals of the GRAND SLAM and America is forced to take a side. Even though in the end, the PEOPLE will be satisfied with the Winner, both will benefit in the end. You might ask how? Lets take a look at political benefits of these two if either accepts the Second Place trophy.

Hillary Clinton is the consummate politician. There is no one on the Political landscape, media, or grassroots can say that Hillary Clinton don't know Politics and the tools to become a good one. You don’t become a leading Presidential candidate on a whim nor do you become a person that is a catalyst in a Political movement that can and has ignited a Nation and a World to pay attention to every word and step you take unless you have the ability to command that attention and or respect. In a short time being active in politics and the history being politically behind and in the forefront as an established influence, as Senator of the United States she stands at the front of the Class as the WOMAN that holds more that 46% of the Democratic Party behind her as most favorite Politician. A Democratic Politician that has left a footprint in all 50 States; good or bad. A Democratic Politician that has played torchbearer in every other Senator’s and House Representative’s backyard. She has carved out a successful Physical presence as well as Political influence that can carry for several years and across several generations. So what if Senator Hillary Clinton looses the nomination for President, She goes back to Congress as the MOST INFLUENTIAL POLITICIAN on the Hill because she has done something that Ted Kennedy, John McCain, John Kerry, Joe Lieberman and a minor few has not been able to do, and that is to ignite the interest of Millions to Vote. Millions more than her counterparts were unable to do. Regardless of her “married name”, Hillary Clinton still had to do the work, and WORK she is and had done. Like a Williams Sister, they earned every POINT and not one was given freely.

In playing on the courts (still using the tennis references), Hillary Clinton knows the angles to play. She sees the lines, the weakness, the good calls and the potential bad calls, but like the WILLIAMS SISTERS, when in the beginning of their playing careers, the crowds were against them. Hillary’s level of Political play to NOT give in or give up, to come back from behind and to TALK THE TALK of the Working Poor and Blue Collar and the Small Towns will and have given her the Aces to play when reaching across the aisles and proposing Bills that benefit those 46% that backed her during her run for President. For some, that might sound like a REACHING PROBABILITY but it isn’t a stretch, especially since the new politics of today has re-written the book on what is Normal Politics.

Like THE WILLIAMS EFFECT, when each Sister Opens Up A Can of WHOMP-ASS on the field and end up playing each other in the finals of the Grand Slam, they sometimes clean-up playing in DOUBLES. When that happens, the Sisters take home the Jackpots of First and Second Prize and then the First Prize in the doubles. Separately the SISTERS improve their status and rankings as number 1 and number 2, their money and influence also rises, and depending on when they peak, the two can and DID capture GOLD METALS during Olympic Years. If Hillary is Venus Williams than Barak Obama is Serena with a No Holds Barred attitude and soon he will garner a SERENA SLAM and capture the love of those on the other side of the Sister Love. Do they collect the Singles or do they consider the Doubles as well? Either way, it is a WIN WIN situation because it’s THE WILLIAMS EFFECT.

Together the Sisters are in love with each other. Of course they have their moments (as all sisters do, and I know because I have four of them) but when it come down to WORK, they snap to it really quick. Hillary Clinton is playing her game until she looses and right now, she has not loss. Calling it, she is in the Third set, and in tiebreakers where SHE and Obama are going back and forth, point for point. Someone has to loose and someone has to win, and in the end, one of the Sisters will reach across the net, shake hands, hug, laugh and giggle and then divide the spoils between the two because in the end, the Prize stays within the family. What happens after the GRAND SLAM depends on the Sisters and there are more Slams, more Players to PUT IN THEIR PLACE, more Games and more challengers to watch out for. You see, sometimes going for the BIG PRIZE, you become limited in what you can really do unless you have backing. Considering the Second Prize can be either going back to the Senate with PREZ CRED or Vice President with Back Up Cred. And this is why I look at Obama because how he WINS will determine how he might loose.

In the Past, the media has always looked for a way to get in between the Williams Sister’s relationship. Even at their dominance in the sport, the players, the Tennis Association, the media has tried to create drama, animosity and psychological difference between the two but that BLOOD mixed with their SPIRIT was the shield that rejected all attempts. If anything, it brought them closer. Not a word or a motion, a gesture or a look gave any evidence that their LOVE for family was in doubt. THE WILLIAMS EFFECT not only demonstrate the proper way to handle the stress of being a leader, but it taught lesson of Grace and Dignity. Obama and Hillary in the end has shown this contrary to the MEDIA’S reporting otherwise.

For Obama loosing the nomination (which at this writing doesn’t seem to be the case), he sits upon the same perch that Hillary would sits upon if roles were reversed. His popularity far outweighs any of the most Senior of Statesmen on Capitol Hill. He also has a fair number of Delegates and Super Delegate behind him with over 53% of American Democrats tugging on his sweaty towel. That type of influence can garner a lot of favors and support. Think about this for a minute, Obama has an open invitation into a Youth Momovement that can guarantee a political base for the next 15 to 20 years. Like the Bill Clinton Generation of the early 1990’s, you can ride this wave just like that crowds at the US Open and Wimbledon throughout the stadium. All it takes is one person to move the crowd and everyone else follows smiling and laughing because they too were in the mix, moving the energy in the direction of the masses.

So, as a Senator, whenever Obama goes before the Congress, no matter what side of the aisle you are on, you have to acknowledge that he has the ability to swing supporters from any and all 50 States because like Hillary Clinton, he has played in all courts and surfaces as well due to his success. Both have changed the nature of the Game; the Political Game. Like THE WILLIAMS EFFECT, all the other players are either breaking or broke down due to the stress of playing a Williams Style Game (Jennifer Capriati, Martina Hingis, Monica Seles, Mary Pierce) or they had to step up their Game (Lindsay Davenport, Kim Clijsters, Amelie Mauresmo, Justine Henin-Hardenne, Maria Sharapova). To relate it to the Political field just substitute any of the prior names with people like Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, Fred Thompson, Joseph Biden, Chris Dodd, or a John Edwards. Not one of them could, did or will command the type of popularity that a Hillary Clinton or Barak Obama currently command or ever will. Much like THE WILLIAMS EFFECT, Hillary Clinton and Barak Obama have changed the toporgraphy of American Politics; the old tricks and assumptions no longer work. The CHANGE is so evident that even the REPUBLICANS has been effected in its methodology, message, and appeal within its own Party. The Clinton Campaign's initial messages and images that normally worked during National Elections had to be revisited and re-tooled for a newer strategies which had to appeal to "real people". It was because of this quick-to-change that Hillary Clinton was able to achieve a "stay in it to win it" posture. No different than the sport of tennis when a Champion starts out down to then battle back for the win (typical of a Williams sister). It was in her (Clinton) ability to do it quickly and decisively that separated from the rest of the field.

So here we are, at the Finals and the Serena vs. Venus/Hillary vs. Obama Grand Slam which is set for Prime Time, the first time ever. There are millions of viewers watching just to see what the excitement is all about. These two TITANS will be grunting and serving at speeds and power that will defy any one familiar or unfamiliar with the SPORT. If I recall correctly, the first time was a bit ANTI-CLIMATIC. Serena Won In Two Sets and for the Venus fans, we were disappointed. We wanted more and got less but even though she didn’t win over her Kid Sister something happened, WE GOT OVER IT because they were still CHAMPIONS and no one was even close to their CLASS OF SPORTSMANSHIP. America or at least the National Tennis Associations has to or had acknowledge that the Williams Sisters has changed the nature of the sport for a New Generation. Their presence had excited tennis and non-tennis players alike, more tennis clinics and instructors are finding work and purpose, tennis attendance has increased exponentially (US Open tickets jumped from an average of $30 to over $150 in a single year with the SISTERS in play, more Black and Brown folk took to the sport and over all the HATERS (John McEnroe, Martina Navratilova and Chris Evert; the Tennis Pundits of the Sport) have all fallen in-line to go with the momentum of the PEOPLE and watch some good A$$ TENNIS .Same here. We are living in a world where we are experiencing some GOOD ASS POLITICS.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

STAR JONES AND HER UNUSUAL SUSPECT

Not wishing anyone terrible news or blocking there blessing but I think it is a good thing Star Jones is going through what she is going through, an I like her contrary to what my initial statement sounds like.

I never believed the Fairy Tale romance and wedding Star Jones presented and I believe most of America felt the same way. At its core, that was the “bitter” pill that we all were forced to swallow during the whole ABC/ The View fiasco that resulted in Star Jones’ firing. We lived the drama and people drew lines in the sand over which side you stood. Either you loved the Woman who transformed her life and switched channels from the Big Girls Show to that of the Divalicious. I sided with Star ‘Diva” Jones because I am always a sucker for the underdog, and Star was a “Dog” in the eyes and lips of man people. Especially Black Women.

In my experience, I have noticed that Women are very hard on other Women who do well. Those that can go from pain and misery to health and spiritual enlightenment, often are placed in degrees and categories of acceptance, Women being selective in who they embrace when those that survive that climb into empowerment. Star Jones somehow must have taken the wrong staircase in her climb to the top because she never caught a break since she shed the pounds and decided for Professional and Personal reasons not to endorse publicly the radical methods for loosing weight. As a MAN, I was like, “Good for you Star, you did what you needed to do to get healthy.” To my Sisters, “That Bitch thinks she’s all that since she lost all that weight.”

It is just interesting that Star Jones was liked BEST when she was a Big Girl and the bigger she got, the more she was loved and adored. It was as if Star Jones encompassed the pain, insecurities, depressions and feelings or inadequacies and daily as she appeared on television absorbed those feelings and emotions until she was about to burst. In reality, she was about to BURST. The Woman’s heart was about to give out and in a moment to choose life over death, SHE decided to live. This was not acceptable for the World because Star Jones, as a Woman, and Black Woman, as a Fat Black Woman, as a Self Destructive Fat Black Woman was suppose to die and become the latest casualty for the decadence that is America. In THAT moment Star Jones lived and lived as LARGE as the body she once had and like all stars that go “nova”, she energy touched everyone including those that did not want to be touched. This energy included her “Happiness”.

OK so we know about how Alicia Keys had help HOOK up Star Jones with her soon to be ex-husband, Al Reynolds. We did the whole his Traditional Black Southern and my Southern Traditional family stories, the All-Star engagement proposal, a whole one year marriage counseling, one year of celibacy, the on air wedding dress shopping, The View as the year long Bridal Party, HELL we even grudgingly had to sit through a one-woman American Idol-like Star Jones solo act of her singing a Whitney Houston song. And by that time I too was going through a period of Star Rejection. Then we got in the final closing of the Star Jones Experience with her Wedding of the Century or as the media dubbed it “The Most Outrageous Celebrity Weddings of 2004”. Once this was done we were just like … OK what next? What was next was to figure out, "What Man Would Marry Star Jones?"

So now that we were exhausted about the woman, we now had to look at the MAN but what we found was someone that was NOT QUITE WHAT WE EXPECTED. He was just a regular Jack and Jill expressing, God Fearing (because we know he had to be that type of Christian), Independently wealthy, well educated, Black and masculine. Well, that last point, the “masculine part” was suspect. Much like the Barak Obama and the Reverend Wright controversy, this one issue never quite left the minds of the many “He-and-She-Hates” Star Jones followers BUT, if Star Jones said Al Reynolds was ALL MAN and not Gay than we will accept that for now.

Fast-forward four years later, Star Jones has rebounded time and time again from her The View Issues to her own show on Court-TV and still everything was Roses. One thing about Roses though, they grow, they bloom, they are admired and then they dwindle and die. There wasn’t a moment when we did not hear how WONDERFUL the Reynolds marriage was and how much it is this and how much it was that. For me, that was a RED FLAG. No one needs to reaffirm a good thing when life does that without assistance. Especially when no one asks.

Year 2005 and we are hearing comments from Star Jones’ Spokesperson, "This story is absolutely ridiculous and untrue. Star and Al are very committed to each other and their marriage." This statement was in response to the idea that the marriage was a sham and a means to boost The Views ratings, the rumors of past affairs by Al Reynolds and his visits to Fire Island (for those not in the know, Fire Island is a very popular place for Gay Summer Activities and Events) and pictures floating about the Internet in swimwear which for some, must be an antidote for Homosexual behavior. I mean from the start there has to be something “wrong” with this MAN to like …. HER. The rumors never stopped, if anything they became more insidious from two avenues, tabloid media and the Gay Community. Which as far as I am concerned are pretty much one and the same.

Each year the announcement of the two getting a divorce became an annual event with Star Jones reaffirming that the two are still living in Honeymoon Bliss. One thing I know about Honeymoons, they eventually end and the REAL marriage begins. And just that, people who either LOVE or HATE Star Jones know that what we see in public, ISN’T the real Star and Star never shows you her HAND.

But why do people keep bringing up The Star Jones Marriage? Why not just let up and move on to maybe other People’s Marriages? Is it that people still cannot release from the fact that this once “Ugly Betty” has become a Star or is this more like Marion Jones and her drug scandal (no relation … seriously) where people know something that everyone was else is ignoring and the accused is just not letting go of the Lie. Maybe Star Jones really is a Diva and has pissed off so many people that until she BURST the way people had hoped she would have on The View, she will be doomed to be hassled until then? How about the fact people either did not feel that they got their money’s worth (since Star Jones nor Al Reynolds paid a dime for it) or there was some small writing in the bridal Contract which stated that the PUBLIC owns Her for life? Regardless of the reasons, it’s official, Star Jones is getting a divorce and we are hearing the, “I TOLD YOU SO, HE AIN’T WANT HER BLACK ASS.

So now what? Star Jones has lost the Weight, she’s lost The View, she’s lost her Talk Show, now she’s lost her Marriage. I am still an underdog supporter, regardless of the reasons, I am behind her 100% because I can relate when it comes to dropping dead weight and moving forward .. especially when you KNOW the person isn’t into you. We have been previed to the "Star Jones Saga" since day one and part of me would like to just shyt it all down and move past it BUT I do like Star Jones and I am looking forward to seeing how SHE bounces back from this one because like many people, This Marriage Seem Suspect from the start and wasn't going to last long anyway.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

THE GOODEST BITCH IS BACK

So Inga Marchand is finally out of prison. It was almost 1 year ago she was ordered to go to Ryker’s Prison for probation violations. I mean all she had to do was stay under the radar and be like “normal people”. You figure at 28 years old (that was how old she was when she was sent to serve time) that one would have enough sense to enjoy freedom and a use enough Common Sense to behave. I mean as Thug Girls go, Inga Marchand’s claim to fame was beatin’ down little Asian Women at Nail Salons and throwing Blackberries and people. But she didn’t behave because somewhere in her mind, Inga Marchand thought she was Naomi Campbell. You see when too many people tell you that you ARE, “The Baddest Bitch”, when you’re NOT, you better have Naomi Campbell Money or at least Contacts.

In the end, The Judge said, “Naw, I’m the Baddest Bitch, now get your Monkey Ass in a jumpsuit and get locked up”. And that’s is just what happen. Inga Marchand was sentenced for 12 months at the Rose M. Singer facility at the New York prison since October of 2007.

So if you have no idea whom I am talking about by now, Inga Marchand is also known as the Notorious, Hardcore, Make No Mistake, Queen of the Mic, Battle Bitch Foxy Brown; the epitome of Rap Glamour and Hardcore Lyrics. Foxy Brown, just like lil’ Kim, were the future of Women in the Rap Game, what the media labeled as the "Gangsta Girl", what Real N_ ‘s wanted in a Woman. Well Ryker’s Prison wanted her more and decided to re-defined that image Big Time.

When Inga Foxy Brown” Marchand, entered lockdown in the tradition of all other Rappers as a “Rite of Street Cred”, Girl’s chest was pumped like Kong as she perp walked her ass into the clink. What Inga “Foxy Brown” Marchand didn’t know was that the “REAL” Bad Bitches were waiting for her. Now I am not one to disrespect Women by calling them the B-Word but to make a point and or describe the World that Inga “Foxy Brown” Marchand was working from and eventually into, we must call it the way the Players want it to be played. This is a story more about what IS real and what WAS fantasy.

Inga “Foxy Brown” Marchand gets into Ryker’s Prison thinking that her Foxy Brown persona would give her the Street Cred needed to be Queen Bee behind bars. What she didn’t know was that she was NO MARTHA STEWARD. Real Street Cred is having WEALTH ENOUGH to say (or in this case have a Lawyer say ) I want to be Upstate New York with my own WING, some groupie, making pastel quilts, floral curtains and planting flowers. Instead Inga “Foxy Brown” Marchand got the "First Year State Attorney Three Meals And A Cot" deal. Based upon her Bitching throughout her stay, it can be assumed that the Real Bad Bitches told her she had to skip the cot and “Grab Floor”.

Within days, Inga “Foxy Brown” Marchand was in an “altercation” with a fellow inmate, which required her to be placed in SOLITARY. We don’t know what the circumstances were but in talking to my connections within the system, the Women up in Ryker's don’t usually react as the Men do. There is no period where they “TEST THE BOOTY” or “LOYALTIES”. The Women’s Prisons tends to connect and bond more so than challenge and control UNLESS you enter with attitude. Trust me, if you do not have a grip on Anger Management, there will be someone to give you a Crash Course. A crash upside your head. Thank Goodness for Solitary Confinement.

Then we hear The Baddest Bitch stepping to The Judge to ask if she can be released early to get her ear fixed because of some infection. In reality it was a request to have a broken ear piece repaired. WHAT? You mean Thug Girl got some Forrest Gump Up In Her? “OH HELL NAW”, the judge told Inga “Foxy Brown” Marchand, “Get your HALF HEARING BLACK ASS BACK BEHIND BARS, I AIN’T PLAYIN WITH YOU!

Well The Judge didn’t say it like that but you know what I meant.

Then every other story you heard was Inga “Foxy Brown” Marchand pissing this one off, Inga “Foxy Brown” Marchand pissing that one off but in the end, FOXY got her act together because the word was out that she was soft. Word back on the Street was she calmed down too because The Judge didn’t care that she needed to be in a recording studio either. The reality of knowing that on the outside, the legal system wasn’t going to cut her any slack and on the inside, they had her number, it was best to WOMAN UP and recognized that by doing the time “RIGHT” you can get the FUQ out in one piece … the Baddest Bitch learned to be the Nicest Woman. In essence Foxy Brown learned how to accept being just Inga Marchand and keep it real with herself. Lesson learned, she got out a few months early.

So now Inga Marchand has been released and the media is all up in her face. She comes out and is ALL SMILES. She is now an Official Thug Girl With Street Cred. Without a beat, Inga Marchand runs out and meets her Mother followed by her Publicist, her Hair and Makeup Artist, Manhattan Councilman Charles Barron (why he was there I HAVE NO CLUE), and was whisked away to the backseat of a chauffeured white Rolls-Royce Phantom chased by paparazzi. But here is the REAL COMEDY, in a quick interview; Foxy Brown was asked what was it like being in prison? Her response, “ It was horrible, I was sitting next to all kinds of people, I mean I was next to Drug Addicts and Murders and … oh I can’t even describe it.” Then she was asked, “What do you plan to do next?” Her response, “I plan to go to Church and drop to my knees and pray and then go home.

Well alright Inga, you did learn something about being human. Then her Manager puts out there that FOXY BROWN has lined up a Reality Show, a project through VIACOM and VH1, speaking engagements, promotional rounds in support of her delayed new album, Brooklyn's Don Diva, May 13 because we need to get BACK ON TOP OF HER CAREER.

The Baddest Bitch is Back.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

WHERE WERE YOU SHAZZA? Pt. 1

I was going to get all detailed about my relationship and how it began, flourished and then tragically ended but then I thought to myself, “Self, do you really want to give that much Body to a carcass rotting in your memory?

DAYUM !!!! You might say to yourself as you are reading that last line BUT that is how I feel. The relationship is dead and I don’t plan to go Jesus and resurrect something that should have ended a LONG TIME AGO, according to how my Ex had childishly tried to explain.

Let’s just say that when one person is into the relationship, committed, honest and supportive and the other is fickle, dishonest and selfish, IT’S A DEAD THING. The thing is, I am not stupid and in my many deep and serious conversations when one asks the question of, “Do you want to end this relationship?” and the response is, “No, that is not what I want” when what you really mean is “YES”, the result of that dishonest answer has serious repercussions. It gives the affected a false sense of continued investment of affections, energy, commitment and “sacrifice” and when the truth comes out, you can’t be surprised when the affect is (and I am polite when I say this) PISSED THE FUQ OFF. When after an extended period time of sightless commitment, you are caught in the output to a one-sided relationship, when it abruptly ends, my wave of emotion raged out like a monsoon cut loose upon a village of idiots too slow to move inland.

OK so here’s the deal. I am a GOOD MAN. I don’t smoke, don’t drink, I am Spiritual, never arrested, masculine, athletic, considerate, conscious, forward thinking, culturally grounded, funny, talented, well traveled, well-spoken, involved in the community, love children, WANT CHILDREN, etc etc etc. I am that type of GOOD GUY that all mothers want their daughters to marry and BAD BOYS try to make sure their women don’t meet. I know myself because I have found myself a long time ago. I am grounded. I am the marrying type because I WANT TO BE IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP. So when you take all of this positive energy and you toy with the notion that this is WHAT YOU THINK YOU WANT to then decide after playing with a person IT ISN’T … what is a person to do?

That’s just how it is. I’m sorry you feel that that way but … I can’t help that”, my Ex’s response.

I guess you would say that because people assume that the NICE GUY will remain that way because and accept it because they are WEAK in mind and heart. VERY DANGEROUS THINKING. And even if this assumption was TRUE, why would anyone want to play GAMES with a weak Mind and Heart. Those are the two organs/emotions that create News worthy situations.

Don’t worry people, I’m not THAT crazy … BUT I let this moment wash over me just enough because KARMA IS A BITCH and so is my Ex.

You are abrasive, some people really hate your ass, but there may be a group of other tight knit assholes and bitches that you hang out with and get you. Everybody else? Fuck ‘em, Right? OK, I’m going to let this marinate a bit and I will come back and tell you what I think about you." I end the conversation before I go to a RED ZONE.

We moved on?

You think I'm angry a little bit? Where do I re-direct my anger? Why am I venting like this? OK think about this.

What if you got involved with someone and you really liked him or her. Then your significant other says to you, “I got a job transfer and I will be moving to another State. I really love you and I don’t want to loose you. You have been the best thing in my life and I don’t want to break off what we have. Will you consider coming with me?

What do you do? I personally struggled with this for a long time as the clock ticked down to the last days. Deeply, I tuned down the idea of leaving family and friends to move to a State I knew nothing about and knew no one but three words made me break from my fear of making a CHANGE, “I love you.” I put away my selfish and stubborn desires to stay where I was comfortable and listened to the possibilities of having a new life with the help of my family and friends whom all supported me decision to make a new life elsewhere. I knew I had control issues by playing it safe in all of my life decisions. I mean I was not one to take BIG CHANCES with my finances or leap into something without thinking it completely through. I then said to myself, " Self, I think I can do this". When the proposal came to move, I made the leap and I did.

Moving to a NEW place, it took a while to adapt but I eventually did. One of the things that I do is PLAN. And plan I did. To buy a house, to get a decent job (even in an ailing economy), to start a business, to get involved in the community, to connect to the Black Community and its writers and to learn the history of this new place I live in. And there were great possibilities there. Starting out with very little, my Ex and I communicated, shared and acquired everything we needed to make a good life. We had a system for how we did this, keeping our communication, our feelings, and our commitment ongoing. We even used a technique taught to me when I was a youth and did Anger Management Counseling. When communicating sensitive issues and avoiding arguments, you enter into a conversation with another be establishing rules for respect and say, ‘I NEED YOU TO HEAR ME.” In doing this, you let the other person know that you want to speak un-interrupted, no responses, no opinions, no interactions .. just the person sitting and actively “hearing”. You then end the conversation with a date and time for the other to respond. This allows the other person to think and absorb the totality of what you have stated and when the date to respond comes around, the other person speaks and it is your time to “hear”. This process allows for real honesty with all the elements of balanced emotions and logic needed for understanding. It’s a safety zone for real feelings and allows for true respect. BUT the key is you have to be committed to Honesty.

We did this and we built a household that was good. Property, prosperity and opportunities, the blessing were not blocked at all. When people saw the relationship, it was an example for all others to follow. Even our friends and parents fell it was a blessing and good.

Then my Ex wanted to do something wonderful, start a business. This was great because where we were, the business proposal would have made not only an impact, BUT some serious money because there was no competition as well as the client feeding companies and providers surrounding us that wanted to partner and or needed the service as well. The blessings rained down in full support. With my background in business development, I decided to do the work. All my Ex had to do was just sit back and have the blueprint for success presented on a silver platter and get certified. It was a NO BRAINER. Mind you. It was my Ex’s goal for the business which like any relationship, became "ours" as a couple.

Now in order to do this right, someone had to sacrifice his or her dreams and aspirations for the other. Since I have already done so by relocating, it made sense that by doing this new business venture, I would I not only know the community, the politics, the economics and potential pitfalls BUT I would establish a foundation for a family in a place where I had none. In doing the work, I developed the business plan, established the financial commitments, committed to a location, gathered the backers and took a job where from the inside, I was able to get all the supplied needed at COST. The only thing needed was my Ex’s commitment to do the work. Tick tock and the clock slowed to a stop when a decision was made. “I want to be back in New York.

"OK?"

So in the mean time we do the conversation thing, between the time commitments, social schedules, the stresses of a family deaths and illness and at this time my health was beginning to affect me (mostly stress related causes), we began to sit down and really talk. This was the moment when I first asked, “Do you want to end this relationship?” I had asked this because I felt that there was a major shift in our relationship, the feeling that a BRICK WALL was coming and if it was to be avoided, now was the time to TALK. This wasn’t the first time I had inquired about the strength of our relationship. Since my Ex traveled a lot, I wanted the degree of communication to forever be there. Knowing friends in the entertainment and travel business, I know that in moments like this, trust and communication is key. The other reason was that “IF” my Ex wanted to end the relationship, I could make the appropriate changes in my life and continue on with my life and or move forward with all the work that I put into the “business” and would have been happy where I was. even more so, the respect for each other would have been more appropriate than the traditional BLOODLUST than comes with nasty seperations. The decision to re-commit to the relationship was made and I conceded to move back to New York deciding to take the business plan there, especially since I have done all the work. My other deciding factors were my family and friends and to be back in an environment that I knew well.

So now you figure, since my Ex was traveling to New York on a regular prior to breaking things down at home, having a place and plan mapped out in advance would be a simple responsibility. Wrong. By the time the move was committed to, we ended up living with friends. This was to be a two-month deal. Coming back didn’t bode well for me either because the initial job that I had set up upon my return, the offer ended up going under. So now I am not working full time. In looking for a new place, no matter what I found, my Ex found problems with it. Even when there was something that worked well … it would seem that there was a so PROBLEM. Two months turned into three, turned into five turned into 7 months and now we have a PROBLEM because I can’t live in someone else’s home when I have always had my own. By this time we are not communicating at all and when we do, we argue. When we finally sit down like adults to TALK I get this TRUTH, “I really wasn’t into this relationship, even before we moved back. I didn’t really look hard for a place because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to continue living with you and the only reason why I stayed in this relationship was because I was looking out for you.

WHAT THE FUQ?!?! The reason why this relationship is FUQ’ed up is because of ME? How are you looking out for someone who had built a foundation by which you lived like a GODDESS, building up your credit, your self worth, living standard, healthy living, spiritual health, peace of mind, beat back those person's draining your life and helping you gain a resemblance of a positive reputation, helped you through a layoff right after we initially moved and assisted you into a NEW career and maintained a home that was stability that you have never had and YOU are looking out for ME by bring me into a situation where you intended to DUMP ME?

"I really want to be living in North Carolina but you don't want to move there." my Ex tell me matter-of-fact like.

"I pick up and move from New York and then move back and within a few months of moving back, move to another State for the simple reason that you don't want to be here. And we are Here, because you stated YOU want to move back?", I say.

Ladies and Gentlemen, up to this writing I never really went to THAT PLACE with my Ex. I didn’t just yet BUT mentally I am not ready but it will happen prior to the divorce. You see, when I was a child, I had ANGER ISSUES. Issues that required me to do therapy in anger management techniques. These techniques have aided me throughout my childhood, teen years, and adult life. As peaceful as I appear on the outside, I am a rage of fire and brimstone on the inside. I cannot begin to tell you how much anger that was and still is pint up within me so I have entered into increased in intensive pray, meditation, exercise and writing. As I tell people that I am single once again, the SHOCK VALUE on people’s faces tell stories. When I explain as to how it happen, people still can’t comprehend because everyone asks, WHO in the world would sacrifice for them and practically give a person everything that NORMAL PEOPLE pray for and even is handed a business gift wrapped and walk away from it because “THEY ARE BORED?”

I though this as well but after talking to my Ex’s family (we are still cool with each other which usually happens when the good one’s get away from a family) I found out that my Ex is a RUNNER, never really committing to anything, a job, a place to live, relationships, friends you name it. The family also agreed that what my Ex did was wrong and was really sorry as to how it ended (still shocked that it did end).

So now I am here dealing with this, on top of the financial commitment with this divorce, the separation of possessions, the non-communication, all the Bullshyt that comes with ending a relationship lasting years and still remaining civil and respectful until the separation is complete. If it wasn’t for the fact that my Ex’s response to this was, “I’m sorry you feel this way but that’s just how it is”, and my not booking an express trip to Ryker’s Island Prison with my response, I might be able to move forward quicker than I am at present.